10 – Winter Wonders and Wisdom

0:00Lea WernliHello and welcome and a happy new year. Actually, we are recording this podcast and it's already 2024. Isn't that insane? Yeah. So I'm Lea Wendley and I'm with my friend Shelia Stevens.

0:20Shailia StevensHi, happy new year for me as well.

0:23Lea WernliAnd you're listening to Time for You. So we are taking time together and it's a podcast that should give you some space and a good feeling and just a little time for you. So grab your coffee, sit down, relax, and enjoy.

0:47Shailia StevensVery good. I was just pointing to your microphone, Lea, because it was getting a little bit quiet for a minute. And I don't know, like, Can you just like push on the cord to be sure everything's all hooked up?

1:00Lea WernliI've got always technical issues, guys, so that's not—

1:07Shailia Stevensthat's good. Yeah.

1:10Lea WernliYep. So Shelly wants to know what I wanted to tell her before the podcast, and I didn't because I said that's going to be for the podcast. Probably I'm not the only one, but one of very few people that kind of like strange incidents, things that go wrong, because then I've got an educational story. Probably quite expensive educational story. I had coaching this morning and I was a tiny bit late. And actually it already started yesterday because yesterday I was quite chilled, but I had like coaching and meeting and really a lot of different stuff going on back to back.

2:15And I'm okay with that, but I really have to concentrate when it's like several or a lot of things and a lot of different things. So yesterday I went out and I forgot to take the key for the garage. What's that? Is that garage?

2:38Shailia StevensThe key to the garage.

2:40Lea WernliThe key to the garage. I, um, the, the, our car was on the parking outside and it snowed. And this morning I had to just, for not a long time, but like for half an hour, I had to go back to the city because I love secondhand clothes and I love to sell secondhand clothes and I sell again, like every several months. I think, no, I'm not going to deal with it anymore. And then I do it again. And it's a little store where you rent kind of a shelf and then you sell your own clothes. And I had to swap clothes today. And normally sometimes they help me out. And this time I had to go myself. I even had to kind of verschieben.

3:44Shailia StevensTo move?

3:46Lea WernliTo move coaching or to ask if it's possible because I didn't realize that this appointment is this early. So I went out and my car was covered in snow.

3:58Shailia StevensSnow?

3:59Lea WernliA little, but it was covered. And I went into the car and Now listen, educational story. I had this small, like this tiny feeling of, hmm, it's, it's a bit dark. Even when I, I, the, um, the Windschutzscheiben, uh, wie heißen diese Dinger?

4:23Shailia StevensOkay, give me a second. I have to translate in my mind. The windshield wipers.

4:28Lea WernliYes, on, and the snow was gone, like from the window in front and behind. I could see, but it It even felt a little too cozy, but I had to rush. So I drove into the city, and in the busiest street, the police stood there, and they looked at me very firmly and pointed me to the side. And I was like, my heart started racing because I thought, oh, what's going on?

5:05Shailia StevensOh, no.

5:06Lea WernliAnd then they did, they do not say why at first. So they just stopped me and asked for my driver's license and I couldn't find my driver's license. And then one of my lenses, uh, was—

5:22Shailia StevensDon't say your, your contact lens fell out of your eye. No, Lea, don't do this to me.

5:28Lea WernliBecause I was a little nervous probably. So I was like, oh, Sorry, stop. I can't see. I have to put it in again. And they stood there like, hmm. So I found the license. Then I called my husband because I couldn't find the, the ID, the identification thing for the car.

5:54Shailia StevensThe car ownership papers. The car ownership papers.

5:57Lea WernliYeah, it's all over the place. And then I took a deep breath. I said, hey guys, I need a minute. And they started to walk around the car. And then I realized, I don't know why they did pull me over. So I went out and said, hey, so what's the matter? And they were already measuring. the snow on the, on the roof of my car. So when the snow is over 3 centimeters, that's forbidden. So it was more than that, or a tiny bit over. So that was the case, and the lights were slightly covered. And that's how I got a—

6:58Shailia StevensA fine.

7:00Lea WernliA fine. Yeah. And I couldn't pay it straight. It's even— it goes to court. So I'm going to have to pay probably a lot. And I was quite calm. I was really— I started to talk to them and I said, listen, guys, I'm normally in the garage, and I'm not used to snow anymore at all, and I completely forgot how to handle that. And so they even wrote that down.

7:37Shailia StevensUm, they wrote that down?

7:40Lea WernliYes, they wrote that down. They said, yeah, probably maybe for court, that's for the judges so they know. And I was like, oh yeah, that's cool. And I was so chilled that the lady police, she was kind of sorry at the end that they had to, to give me—

8:00Shailia StevensA fine.

8:02Lea WernliThat fine. So I, um, before I, I went back on the street, she was like, yeah, I help you to navigate so you're safe back on the street. They helped me clean the car. And beside me was a guy who had the same issue and he was out of his mind and he was really angry and he shouted and I get it. I mean, it was, it's not going to be fun. It's going to be money. And still, I just, oh, and why educational? She was like— The police lady, she said, oh, you're one of the nicest people getting a fine.

8:53And I said, yeah, um, that's cool because I know actually something. And I told her what I know. I said, yeah, I know because I don't want to stress out because I know you can't make me angry. I know that only my thinking can make me feel anything. And she stopped in her track and looked at me, and I thought, yeah, one more. I did it.

9:30Shailia StevensOne more.

9:33Lea WernliOne more.

9:34Shailia StevensShe's probably already on our German list by now.

9:37Lea WernliWho knows? She has my name.

9:39Shailia StevensSo she has your name and the whole story written down.

9:41Lea WernliYeah, she has my name. So, but I have to be honest, when I got to the secondhand shop and my husband called me and he was really, he was cute. He was a bit like, oh no, didn't you know? And I was like, no, I didn't know. And he was like, oh, and I was like, hmm. And then I cried like for a minute and then it was gone again. Before the principles, we are talking about the 3 principles. If we refer to the principles, Mm-hmm. Mind, consciousness, and thought, and kind of discovered— they, they were discovered in this, um, language, or how we are talking about them, by Sydney Banks.

10:32So Just for you to know. And it changed our lives. So even police incidents and stuff like this is not that bitter or unpleasant anymore, even though it's not fun. But because we always can get present and be in our force somehow, and wisdom comes through us. And I just knew staying calm and Not, not, um, getting angry is the best thing to do right now. And slowing down to find the license and just having a chat with them, um, saved a lot of my energy somehow.

11:23So I was not wrapped up or, or in an anxious or nervous state after that. I just Um, could carry on with the day, and that's so much easier. But, and it's not the end right now. Oh my gosh, Thea. Stuff, no, that's just the education part. When stuff like that happens, it is an invitation for me nowadays because it means That's a little bit too much probably going on. So it is the invitation to slow down and—

12:08Shailia StevensYeah.

12:08Lea WernliTo take a good look and being aware where, where did I rush, or, um, where is something to see to, to slow down even a bit more. And so Yeah, it's a bit of an expensive lesson, or love letter, as Bill Petit would put it. But it's a wake-up call, a small one, and I appreciate it as well to just be aware.

12:49Shailia StevensYeah.

12:51Lea Wernlithere is something to see for me. Yeah. So no, never Switzerland, guys. If you're visiting our lovely country, snow over 3 centimeters doesn't work.

13:08Shailia StevensSo, uh, can I say a few things to this story, Lea? So number one, thank you for sharing that. That already made my whole day because that is like Classic Leah. You guys have no idea how many of these stories Leah has had since I've known her. It's like, oh, another one, another one, another one. I don't think that's the last time. I think recently before you already got locked out of the garage, I think you're remembering something like that, but it was at the school and not at your house or something. But she's also constantly being fined. Recently, remember you were on the bus and you didn't have your ticket? This happens to—

13:48Lea WernliOh, no.

13:48Shailia StevensThis happens to her all the time. So this is, um, so good that she has the understanding of the 3 principles because I can't even imagine what your life was like before the 3 principles. Like, what did you do, Leah, in this, like, this Leah-ish way that you're in the world? Like, what happened then? Do you remember?

14:08Lea WernliYeah, totally. I, I, I called it before the ADHD, um, taxes, actually. Um, we are kind of aware, like, my, my brain is wired a little different. So if I'm— if I have a bit too much on my plate, uh, it happens that I'm not that concentrated or, or forgetful or, or, or a bit too, um, not slow but fast. Yeah, so it happened before, of course, and back then I, I, I got really ashamed or, or even angry or impulsive, but not— I, I was talking to the shop owner after that and she was really— she told me she gets really angry at the police and if, if she, she's feels, um, that somebody is not, um, gerecht, fair.

15:16Shailia StevensFair.

15:16Lea WernliWith her, and that, that really does her head in. And I had that too, but I was— it was not— I, I really did discuss the thing with the people, like, no, but come on, and I'm not used to that, and I, I forgot the keys yesterday, and I was not in my car, So I really tried to discuss. I was not like angry or impulsive towards the strangers or the people who only do their job, but I was really kind of, uh, angry and hurt and ashamed about my condition.

16:04Shailia StevensSo—

16:04Lea WernliMm-hmm.

16:05Shailia StevensOkay.

16:05Lea WernliI felt like, why me? And why do I, do I have to put up with this shite? And always me. And so it, it, the shame came on top of whatever was going on or the self-pity or so it even—

16:28Shailia StevensAccumulated.

16:30Lea WernliIt accumulated. And that was one part of, of how my, my, my down circle was built. So stuff like that happened. I was even more stressed, maybe late, then late for school or work or whatever. Then the pressure started to build up inside myself, and the— I didn't want to feel all the feelings, so I started to try to push them down or to meditate or journal or do whatever the heck I knew to help myself not to feel whatever came through. And at the end, I was so stressed out about all of this external and internal stuff that I drunk or, or did buy stuff I didn't need or ate too much. So that were the compensation strategies.

17:30Shailia StevensMm-hmm.

17:32Lea WernliSo, um, Yeah, and nowadays it's like it happens less, of course, but it still does because that's one part of being Lea in this human life. And it's an invitation today, it's a love letter. Oh, um, too much, or slow down, or maybe Take your hand off whatever is going on in your head and have a look at what's really needed. Or yeah, and so that's totally different.

18:16Shailia StevensTotally, totally. It's like the difference that I'm hearing you say is just like, I have more than 3 centimeters of snow on my car. I'm getting a fat fine for that. And I'm having a little kind of discussion, debate about, can I get out of it? And if I can, I'm just friendly and fine and letting it go and on with my life. Versus in the past, like this huge, like, lavina—

18:49Lea WernliYeah.

18:50Shailia StevensAvalanche of following things that are happening emotionally that take up capacity, create stress, build up, need coping strategies.

19:01Lea WernliMm-hmm.

19:02Shailia StevensI mean, what a huge difference. And like, for, for those people, Leah, who are hearing this for the first time, like, we really hope that the people who, um, who are listening to the podcast might share it with a friend. Maybe they've never even heard of the 3 principles. Like, what is the difference between the one state and the other state? Like, what gets us there? And the difference is not taking life so seriously. I'm just gonna phrase it like that.

19:39Lea WernliYes.

19:40Shailia StevensBecause it's what comes to me. I have a couple of experiences like that the last couple of weeks as well. We've had a lot going on, as you know. And one of the that my version of the fine is right now, every time we go to a checkup appointment with the dog, although we have doggy insurance, we're getting like a fat, huge bill on the table, like €600, €700. And that's like, you know, insurance has covered this, this, this, and that, and still this is left over for the medicines and the lab results.

20:21Lea WernliYeah.

20:22Shailia StevensAnd Then, okay, you have to come back in 6 days and then in 14 days. And I'm just like, I'm counting in my mind, like, what is this looking like? You know? And, but being totally somehow at absolute peace with that, um, it's not at all getting up in my head about it. Thank goodness. I'm knocking on wood here.

20:47Lea WernliMm-hmm.

20:48Shailia StevensUm, because there's a potential I could get up in my head about it. I'm human. Anybody could, right? We could have a lot of thinking. and emotions about money that's flying out the window that just, you know, we can't control. We can't control that. We don't know how many appointments are coming or what's gonna be suggested the next time, you know? But it's just somehow a relaxed experience. It's just life happening, not taking life so seriously, even if it's connected to A number or a diminishing bank account or whatever all this stuff is that we make up or see as problematic.

21:33Lea WernliMm-hmm.

21:34Shailia StevensAnd just seeing it for what it is, which is a beloved creature who needs help. It costs money to run a clinic and have doctors and medicine. And, you know, that's just the way it is.

21:48Lea WernliAnd done.

21:51Shailia StevensAnd not that if that happened to everybody, they would be as easy about it financially. Maybe it would be a big— a bigger issue for them, but their wisdom would give them something, you know, how to deal with that in the moment. Yeah. And so that's what I'm hearing. What do you want to say something to that, Leah?

22:10Lea WernliYes. And really to build that trust, and maybe over time, and maybe through an insight or a really consciousness shift. It doesn't matter either way. Um, to, to trust the flow of life, wisdom in the moment, and that little mind and big mind together, like the, the, um, intellect and wisdom in the, in the moment. do guide us, and it's so much more potent than what we could make up in our own little mind. And that's very hopeful. And, and it's just lighter. The, the experience of being in life is—

23:11Shailia StevensYes.

23:12Lea WernliA lighter experience, and it doesn't mean that nothing ever happens, that the dog is not getting sick or ill, or you're not being pulled over by the police or whatever. Life happens. But when we're in the moment, when we know how we work, it's easier to access that inner knowing and to navigate from a place of ease.

23:48Shailia StevensYeah.

23:50Lea WernliEasier.

23:51Shailia StevensYeah. And it's like we can feel it, like what the analogy that's coming to me. Do you know, sometimes I once I went to the osteopath for something with my body, and they very much are feeling into your fascia, into your organs, and how everything's connected. And I asked him, you know, how do you feel like what is off and needs to be unblocked and things like that? And he said to me, well, just imagine, you know, when you put a tablecloth over a table, and imagine someone would put a vase of flowers on some point of the table, you could even have your eyes blindfolded.

24:28If you were to just pull a little bit, tug a little bit on that tablecloth, you'd feel there's something on the tablecloth, and you kind of get a feeling for where it is, right?

24:38Lea WernliMm-hmm.

24:39Shailia StevensAnd I just had that sort of picture in those moments where you're standing in front of the sliding doors, right? It can go down that road of anger and shame and craziness or upsetness because the money's leaving, or you feel that little tug underneath the tablecloth. And I felt that, you know, a couple of times when the bill was being handed over to me, like, oh, the tug. Oh, there's a vase on the tablecloth.

25:06Lea WernliMm-hmm.

25:07Shailia StevensAnd then just realizing, okay, you can just let that release. Um, we feel the direction that it, that it could be taking if we, if we let it. Um, and we can kind of go sometimes the other way, right?

25:25Lea WernliYeah, hopefully more and more and more. And, and it's okay to be upset about it. too, of course. And just somehow trusting that we wake up again. Yeah. And it gets easier. It does. It does.

25:47Shailia StevensIt does. And then maybe just like toward the end, because we probably want to close up pretty soon, but I really could resonate with what you were saying with the love letters too, because I had some moments like that just this morning. Like I've been not sleeping too well because I have to sleep downstairs next to the dog so he doesn't lick or bite his open wounds that he has right now and stuff. And I got up this morning and I could tell I was sort of in a low mood. It was really early. We had to be at the veterinary clinic pretty early. And I could start to feel like everything I was doing was sort of like a little bit iffy.

26:27Lea WernliMm-hmm.

26:27Shailia StevensUm, when I, when I got a cup out of the cabinet, it fell down. Or I was driving my husband's car, and I pushed the wrong button, and it made us speed up. And all of a sudden, the motor was like— it was all wrong. And I really just had that moment of, too, like, hmm, this is a love letter. This is a love letter. Just things have been a lot lately. Let's just slow down a bit. Come back really, really to the present moment.

26:58Lea WernliMm-hmm.

26:59Shailia StevensAnd you just like, Shelley, I was talking to myself, Shelley, you just don't need to be doing things this fast right now, right? That slow down. I could really resonate with that when you, when you said it, that we get those love letters. Yeah.

27:14Lea WernliAnd even from the outside, I mean, it's, it's a manifestation of whatever in a way. So we, we can look both ways for the love letters. And we kind of, we start to have that feeling that you mentioned with the vase on the table, like, oh, it's a bit off when I'm really, really honest with myself.

27:41Shailia StevensMm-hmm.

27:44Lea WernliYeah. Coming back and readjusting. Adjusting. No, that's a difficult word. How do you say that?

27:54Shailia StevensReadjusting.

27:54Lea WernliReadjusting.

27:56Shailia StevensYeah.

27:58Lea WernliYeah. So, yeah.

28:00Shailia StevensThanks for sharing that story, Lea. That was so good. And, um, like Lea said, like, don't just stay away from Switzerland. Like, if you even get a speeding ticket, it's going to be 10 times the price of the speeding ticket you get in Germany. That's just how the traffic system works there. It's very accurate, but very safe. It's very safe. You want to be safe, you're going to love it. Um, we hope to see you or hear you on the next podcast episode.

28:24Lea WernliSo Thank you so much for being with us.

28:29Shailia StevensKannst du mich jetzt hören?

28:32Lea WernliNothing and nothing else matters.