11 – When fear is gone you see what is real

0:01Shaila StephensHello and welcome back to another episode of Time for You, where you get to kick back, take your shoes off, grab some fuzzy socks, a hot cocoa. We're in the middle of winter. We don't know where you are. And get ready to just spend some time getting present, nurturing well-being and love in your life. That's what this podcast is all about. My name is Shellya Stephens, and this is my beautiful friend and colleague, Leah Van Lee.

0:30Lea WernliHi, everyone. Hi.

0:34Shaila StephensSo, Leah, we're doing some real talk. Yes. Yeah, yeah. These, these podcasts I love, and they also intimidate me a little bit. It's like taking off your coach and mentor mask and just being your own human person. It's a little bit like, oh, I know, if you know the actual human person I am, I'm not sure where you would want to go with this, but—

0:55Lea WernliWe love her.

0:56Shaila StephensOh, thanks, Leah. So, Leah, what I— I don't know how this topic, how far this topic will take us. I told you in the, like, a little bit of precursory discussion we had to it, but it was something that kind of happened the other day that was actually pretty a profound feeling for me, and I just wanted to share it with you. And the way I thought I could kick it off is, do you know how sometimes when you Have something in your body, like let's say you've got this back pain or this knee pain or something that's— you've had it for so long, you just got used to it. You learned to live with it. Um, you may not have even really noticed it, or rather, you noticed it but you didn't notice it.

1:50Lea WernliMm-hmm.

1:51Shaila StephensAnd you know how sometimes when you go— I'm just making this up— but you go to the chiropractor, um, and he or she like cracks your back, uh, realigns everything, and suddenly your body is completely free of tension and pain that was being caused by that blockage. And you have this moment like, whoa, I didn't even realize how much pain I was in before until it was actually gone. Does that make sense?

2:33Lea WernliYes, totally.

2:34Shaila StephensMaybe, maybe everyone out there has had a similar experience to that. And so I'm just going to call it like a low-grade pain. You know, it's not, it's not something that takes you off the playing field or out of your life, but And then suddenly it's gone. Or it's like when you get glasses and you didn't— and you didn't know you needed them.

2:55Lea WernliYes.

2:55Shaila StephensLike when I got my trifocals and I got like on the top you can see, um, in the distance, in the middle you can see the mid-range, and the bottom you can read. And I like picked up a book for the first time and I'm like, what? I didn't know that a book could be so clear. You could read so easily.

3:17Lea WernliSo I remember that feeling. I was in 4th grade actually when I got my first glasses and I could see the leaves again on the tree. And I will never, ever forget that feeling.

3:33Shaila StephensYeah, totally. I remember that as well. I think I got my first glasses around 7 years old or 8 years old, something like that. Yeah. It's like suddenly everything's clear and crisp and you can see, you can see kind of reality that you didn't. see before. So I had this the other day. I mean, really, it's so fresh for me. It was like 1 or 2 days ago. And I had done kind of a regular workday, you know, I was working on this new program that Sandra and I are— we put it out into the world yesterday. I don't know if you saw it. It's the Find Your Message.

4:10Lea WernliMm-hmm.

4:10Shaila StephensAnd I was sitting down in the living room on the floor. I was oftentimes just go and sit down there with the dogs, and they kind of gather around me after work. And I was having like a belly scratch with them and a cuddle. And I remember suddenly having this feeling like I'm safe.

4:34Lea WernliHmm.

4:35Shaila StephensLike there's— I'm not just safe, there's nothing to fear. I had this sort of kind of insight or knowing. I don't even know what to call it. But it was like, oh, I sat on the floor here yesterday with the dogs. And I sat on the floor here yesterday, the day before with the dogs. And actually, my life is kind of like that. It's like kind of safe. And, and then all of a sudden, I was— Free of fear. I was free of fear. It was like that way you're free of pain in your body. I was free of fear in my, in my mental space. And all of a sudden, I realized how long I had been carrying this low-grade fear with me.

5:31Lea WernliMm-hmm.

5:32Shaila StephensThis fear of the future. Like a very diffused fear. Like, not something like, oh, I'm afraid of World War III, or I'm afraid of the environment falling apart, or I'm afraid of this or that. No, just this kind of subtle, low-grade, generalized fear of everything that is somehow going to be less safe in the future than it is now.

5:59Lea WernliMm-hmm.

6:01Shaila StephensAnd it was like somebody took a 2-ton weight off of my shoulder. And then I was like, where did my mind go from there? My mind went from there like, hopefully this stays, this sticks, because it felt so good. It felt so good. It felt so— and I was just like, Oh, yeah. And I'm just going to speak it out like I tell you. I'm just going to be my human self, you know? Yes. I was just like, oh, my business isn't dangerous. And then I was like, oh, you were thinking your business was dangerous? You know, just a dumb thought like that. And yeah, so I lived in that feeling for like an evening and the next day.

6:55Lea WernliOh, I love it.

6:56Shaila StephensIt was so good. And the only way I can describe it is it's kind of like where we touch the space of what's real.

7:07Lea WernliMm-hmm.

7:08Shaila StephensAnd where we wake up to the illusion of the energy we were living in before. So I think sometimes we talk about the illusion of life and Everyone has their own understanding of what that means, right? That it's all just an illusion and it's not the reality. For me, it's moments like that where I see very clearly what's real and what's illusory.

7:39Lea WernliMm-hmm.

7:41Shaila StephensAnd there's nothing I could have done to, one, recognize that I was in that low-grade fear, or at least Not, not to the extent that— yeah, I don't even know how to put it into words. And there's nothing I could have done with my intellectual brain to get to that moment on the floor, on the carpet, to be like, yeah, now let's please wake up to what's real. And then I, you know, and I want to share that because I think there is a There's a thing about being in this understanding of the 3 principles.

8:24And hello, if you're new, that's what we're talking about here, always on the podcast, this beautiful understanding that was brought into words by Sydney Banks in a particular way that hit our ears in a particular way that helped us to wake up, right?

8:37Lea WernliMm-hmm.

8:39Shaila StephensI think sometimes when we kind of understand more how we work as human beings, like, oh, we feel our thinking, oh, we don't have to put so much attention on our thinking, that's, that's stressful. And then we feel better and we can come back to a good feeling. And, oh, there's a, there's a deeper intelligence within us and it's guiding us to more health in our life. And, oh, we're aware of our thinking and this intelligence and we get this understanding. And Leah and I used to like to call it like a different instruction manual for being human.

9:16Lea WernliMm-hmm.

9:17Shaila StephensAnd while that is incredibly helpful, there is a real limit sometimes to what we can actually do with that instruction manual. Mm-hmm. And I think the reason is, Leah, and this is where I'm going to be very curious about your input, there's such a power to universal consciousness, right? Like the idea that There, the energy of life is brought to, brought to life through our consciousness, right? Like whatever is in our field of consciousness, whether it's a low-grade fear feeling, whether it's a very specific joy thought, it doesn't matter. There's all kinds of energies in our field of consciousness that come in through our senses, and thought is just one of them, right?

10:08Lea WernliMm-hmm.

10:10Shaila StephensAnd they are so perfectly made that sometimes they just— ah, trying to find the word for this— they just stump us. Um, do you know what I'm trying to say?

10:30Lea WernliTotally. What, what comes to mind is actually I had Dicken in my group yesterday, Dr. Dicken Bettinger.

10:43Shaila StephensMm-hmm.

10:44Lea WernliHe's one of the oldest teachers. Um, he, he was a student of Sydney Banks himself, and he's a wonderful, kind, loving human being, and What comes to me is something he said yesterday, like, it's simple. And it is. It's either we are in the feeling of our thinking or in the feeling of being in life.

11:27Shaila StephensYeah.

11:27Lea WernliSo, and all these emotions of tension, low-grade or really heavy anxiety, it's when it gets stuck and this life force and this intelligence and mind coming through us doesn't flow. So, It's kind of this either-or simple. And what he also said is life wants us to evolve. And there are going to be police officers, as we were talking last time, or sick dogs, or— difficulties in business or in finance or with your body. And then we go through something in life, and when, when we get through it, we evolve towards being more loving and kind and, and another layer probably of consciousness reveals itself to us.

13:03And maybe that's totally made up and it's not truth, like with capital T. It's connected, like we are in something and we try our best to stay present and to do whatever shows up for us. And then we are coming through and somehow often there is something to see. Or to feel, or to see different. And life gives us moments like you had. And it already did before.

13:54Shaila StephensYeah.

13:55Lea WernliIn your life, in my life, even when we didn't know about the principles, we had like, whoa. And something changed. So that's just what came to me. Like, yeah, somehow we can't force it and we can't do it intellectually to have a deeper insight. But what I truly see is that we can build the muscle of awareness. And sometimes we're in the low mood or in this low anxiety feelings or in some kind of life circumstances that are not that easy for a while. And we're coming back again somehow.

14:55Shaila StephensYeah.

14:56Lea WernliWe never know when, we never know why, we never know how. Yeah. And our intellect hates that, but hates it. It's, it's in this, ah, dance. I don't know, do you hear something in that? So that's what, what came, you know.

15:21Shaila StephensUh, yes, I hear a couple things. So first and foremost, I hear We're just all explorers here. Like, these conversations even that we have are— we're just like, kind of human beings. And we're trying to figure out like, what is going on? You know, we're exploring, and we're asking ourselves, you know, who am I? What is this? How does life work? What is this deeper meaning? And I feel like there's so much mystery still.

15:52Lea WernliTotally.

15:53Shaila StephensIn it all. And I've had some one-on-one coaching with Dickon, like last year, beautiful coaching that I so much appreciated, and also in a very difficult time in my life. And we had this conversation about, you know, life wants us to evolve. And I said, well, how do you know that? You know, like, is it truth with a capital T? And he, for himself, he sees that to be true, you know.

16:20Lea WernliMm-hmm.

16:22Shaila StephensI think there's something in that. I 100% do. I've started to see that more and more last year and this year, like, and I think I sent you something recently, Leah. I don't know if you watched the video. It's that guy who channels Bashar. I don't know. Yes.

16:38Lea WernliYeah, I liked it. I even forwarded it to a client. Yeah, I wanted to tell you.

16:44Shaila StephensOkay. I love that so much because you know, what he was kind of pointing to was this sort of wave. You showed the wave as well just a minute ago. You guys can't see us on the podcast, so you can't see that.

16:55Lea WernliThat's okay.

16:55Shaila StephensLeah was making a wave with her hands, but it was just like I had been through years and years and years of no fear. I wasn't in a low-grade fearful feeling, right? Um, I was, and then I wasn't again for a long time, and then I was in it again, you know. And he was showing like this The curve is always moving upwards. Yeah.

17:16Lea WernliRight.

17:16Shaila StephensThe same idea that, that, that somehow we're getting put back down in a low vibration. That was his wording. In 3 Ps, you might say you might get put down into a low mood for a while or a low-grade feeling to move up a notch again. Or the way he was talking about it was You're up in a high vibration for a while and you're downloading all kinds of things, and you have to come back into a low-grade energy to ground it, right? So that's that conversation of your spiritual self connecting with your human self and integrating that information. Um, and at the end of the day, I don't know.

18:02Lea WernliMe neither.

18:04Shaila StephensI don't know. And We're all exploring it.

18:10Lea WernliYeah. I have it very practical. And it's, again, it's not the truth. It's a possibility of a truth. I was drinking and not like every day, like alcoholic drinking, but Every couple of months, I really had a night, and that was ugly, that was not fun, and I couldn't stop somehow. So there was an addictive thing in it. And when I came across this understanding, I already Before, I did a lot of therapy and energy work and self-help and coaching. And I was already in a better or higher consciousness or better state, but it was still somehow there.

19:21And when I had this, for me, really profound inside, the waking up again to this. It's not a, I know, it's a remembering, a feeling. There are not even words for this kind of remembering. It— when I came out of it and back into really being human and in life and even Being around drinking, I didn't drink for 4 years. It was like, no. And every day again, am I still there? Do I still don't want to? Oh yeah, no. And it was kind of in the moment again and again and again. So this habit dissolved. And then I started to drink again, not a lot, just sometimes, and with very close friends like Shelia, we had a drink.

20:39Shaila StephensYes. Yeah.

20:41Lea WernliAnd with that came a deep, deep inner knowing of I'm never going to end up there. Never, ever again. And if I would, it's not a problem because I know the way out. So somehow, like, it— a seeing, an insight, a change that Really changes us from the inside out, stays in our field, in our room, in our consciousness. So, and yeah, mystery. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

21:50Shaila StephensLife is, um, is a series of, of reawakening, but we don't ever go completely back to sleep.

22:01Lea WernliEven—

22:01Shaila Stephensdo you know what I mean? That's what I, that's what I hope. That's why this upwards curve.

22:06Lea WernliYeah, right. That's what I feel as truth as well.

22:11Shaila StephensYeah, totally. So yeah, those were our musings for today. Thanks, Leah, for jamming with me.

22:20Lea WernliThank you.

22:22Shaila StephensThese real talks, and we hope you got something out of it for yourself. Like, Leah and I, um, our deepest intention is that you'll hear something for yourself that you— that helps you to wake up a little bit too and Brings you a more wonderful life than you already have now. That's really why we do these conversations. So if you heard a little something, stick with us. Subscribe to the podcast. Tell a friend or family member who you think might could profit from these conversations, or just find them fun listening to on a walk or while doing the laundry.

23:01And we'd like to have them in the community and get to know them too. And We'll hear you the next time on the next episode of Time for You. Till then.

23:10Lea WernliBye.