Everything is Already There

0:00Rob CookWelcome to We're Listening, the podcast, a community where all voices are heard. I'm your host, Rob Cook. Join me for a lighthearted show about the human experience with live conversations, discussions, and interviews of some of the newest to the most established 3P practitioners from all over the world. So no matter if you've known the 3 principles for years or you're new to daily insights, we hope each episode will inspire you to demonstrate a community where all voices are heard.

0:28Welcome to today's episode. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to today's episode. I have 2 3 Principles-based coaches who live in Switzerland and Germany, and for the last few years they've been following their calling of spreading the 3P understanding in the German-speaking space. Their most impactful initiatives in this context is their mission of the My Secret Life interview series. It is a series in which they speak to people about this understanding and how a time in their life in which they were suffering inside— it's a collection of transformative stories that transport a deep feeling and give a whole lot of hope to everyone who watches.

1:11Ladies and gentlemen, the women from My Secret Life, Leah and Shelly. Uh, how are y'all doing?

1:20ShailiaThat was really good, Rob. Like, that, that podcast voice, this is I'm like, oh, this is getting serious in here.

1:30Rob CookI, I had to get serious for you all. Like, you know, I, um, I know there are a lot of people who, who do work in, in Germany, but your voice is very powerful with the community that you all are, are building. So I just, I have to get serious on that, you know. Uh, and I just love y'all. I love how sweet y'all are. Y'all are like, oh, you just want to hang out every day. Uh, but, but if I didn't, if I missed anything, is there anything else you all would add to, you know, my little description of who you are that the listeners would like to hear?

2:05ShailiaWell, we like to think of ourselves as a married couple practically. Like we say we dated for a while last year, but it got serious pretty quickly. And before we knew it, there was nothing we weren't doing together. And yeah, and we even coach together, we mentor together. We have a coach training together where we teach other coaches in the German-speaking space in Germany, Austria, and Switzerland to become transformative coaches or 3P coaches, however you would like to call it. So yeah, we're, we're kind of a married couple. Or Leah, what would you say to that?

2:42Lea WernliTotally. And we, we, we can read each other, so, um, we just have to look in the other's eyes or listen closely, and we really like to listen deep.

2:57Rob CookSo, so it works.

2:58Lea WernliIt works totally. Yeah. And it's a lovely way to be in the world and to spread this understanding and to do it kind of side by side.

3:10Rob CookYeah. Well, you know what, that's actually a very good place to start because one of the things I do love about your story is you all co-coach together your clients, and, and that's you know, a little bit different than normal. So let's go back to— take me to the beginning of the marriage, so to speak. How did this all— how did this come about, you know?

3:32Lea WernliYeah, yeah.

3:34ShailiaActually, Leah was, um, she came to me as a client. Um, I used to do business and marketing coaching, and, um, before I came across the 3 principles. And I got Leah in a time where I was kind of— I just come to the understanding, I think I was 2 or 3 years in, and I was already starting to shift the way that I would do my coaching because I was much more interested in how— what mind was giving the clients or where they were just all up in their head and in their thinking and how that was holding them back.

4:07And when Leah came to me, she had already started her coaching business in a whole different direction. She hadn't come across the understanding and she just wanted some help with how to get her, you know, business up and running, get more clients and those kind of things. And pretty much on our first coaching session, I was like, I'm in deep trouble because Leah was doing everything intuitively and she was just already following her wisdom. And I thought, okay, she's booked me wrongly and I'm gonna have to give her her money back.

4:44It was kind of the feeling that I had. And I kept saying, Leah, I really just don't even want to add anything to what you're doing because you're already, you're doing so well. Like, don't lose that kind of feeling. And yeah, Leah, what happened after that?

4:57Rob CookWell, hold on, before we go to what happened to that, Leo, what were you feeling like that you reached out? Because based on what she's saying, it never should have been a reach out. But what were you feeling, or what were you going through at the time that you felt, I need this woman?

5:13Lea WernliUm, actually, it was, uh, wisdom guiding me. It was just a feeling. And I, I already did good, as Shelia said, I was in a nice place. I had clients, and I worked one-to-one and in group setting. And I also worked for university at the time. And it was— everything was good. And I thought, hmm, there is a whole new world out there, the internet. I don't know anything about that. And that was actually why. And somebody mentioned Shellya, and I watched like 2 or 3 videos, and I just knew, yeah, that's her.

6:04If I want to work with someone, that's her. And I booked her without any further questions. And this money was so worth it, because actually, it was the moment when I got hit. And I— everything changed because of the book that came as a gift from Shellya. And before we even started to work together, and it was Michael Neal's book, The Space Within.

6:41ShailiaSo yeah, the thing was, though, Rob, you got to know this, because this is just hilarious. So Leah got hit like a hammer, like she fell asleep with the book on her chest. And woke up to the all-oneness.

6:54Lea WernliAnd she—

6:55Rob CookI love it. I love it.

6:57ShailiaNo, no joke. And then she came back to one of the next coachings. She's like, Shaliah, I've seen something. And, um, I could totally tell that she really had. And I was so happy for her on the one hand. And on the other hand, in the next sentence, she said, I've been sitting on a bench for weeks and I have lost all of my clients. And, and the reason she had lost all of her clients is just because it didn't make sense to her to coach the way she had been coaching before. And she just couldn't have one more session with someone doing things the old way after seeing what she had seen. And so it, it took her a bit to, to reorient. Now I'm telling your story, Leah, but I know it so well.

7:48Lea WernliTotally.

7:48ShailiaAnd I was part of it and And I was, you know, a little bit— I was, I was super happy, but I was also like, oh my God, now she really has wrongly booked me. Like, she's lost all of her clients. It's literally the nightmare of a business and marketing coach who works with solopreneurs when someone tells you within the working framework they've lost all their clients.

8:08Rob CookOh, that is so funny. I remember this one client I got. He calls me and he's screaming in the phone. And he says, I've been working with you for 2 weeks. I've lost my fiancée, been fired from my job, kicked out of where I live, and have to move out the state. What do you have to say for yourself? And I was like, oh shit, that's a lot. Like, he was like, that's it? I was like, I, I don't even know what else to say. And he was like, you don't have a response?

8:40I was like Yeah. Oh shit, that's a lot. Like, that's— and he was like, well, what do we do? And I said, well, we can figure it out. About 2 months later, he calls me and he says, I just walked past a t-shirt shop and I saw a t-shirt that said, the best person to get advice from is a person who doesn't give advice. And he said, you kept pointing me back to myself. And so he went on to tell me what had happened. He had gotten a home, he had fixed the relationship, but him and his fiancée decided that they would part ways.

9:18But the relationship was amicable from that point. Um, he had a child also, which no one knew of, which was a part of the divide, that he had reached out to and, and started to heal that relationship with because she was a teenager at this point. So That was my like, oh wait, that's it. It— everybody has this ability to tap into wisdom, to mind. Yes, everybody, no matter what they're facing, no matter their crisis. And that's when I really, as Leah, saw, oh, I can do this.

9:52I, I, I, I, I've seen enough to be able to do this because it doesn't require me to have to do anything but continue pointing. So I, I absolutely love that story. So you, you then meet, we, we hit it off without a bell, we're starting to work together.

10:11ShailiaNo.

10:12Rob CookOh, it didn't go that easy? Okay, cool. Well, tell me how it went then.

10:18Lea WernliUm, I sat on a bench for another few months then, and literally, not just metaphorically spoken.

10:27Rob CookWow.

10:28Lea WernliSo I was grateful that Shelly showed up in my life for what I've seen for myself. And I just knew I have to continue this path. And it's not even I want to, it was through me, with me, the hands on my back kind of thing. And I booked Super Coach, but deeply knowing that in a way I don't need it even, but I wanted to hang out with like-minded people. Shelia was there too on my round. But we, we really just had our path separate there. We, we saw each other, we were connected in a— on a deeper level, but we were not in a close friend space or, um, working together at this point.

11:36But on, on my side, I, I just coached when I, when I did have the knowing it's time to stand up again, because actually the bench is in me and it's not the bench outside of my house. I just started to coach and had clients and huge transformations within, um, the first moment of being with the people. And so I came back into business through— even at the beginning of Super Coach, my Um, coaching business was already full, and it just was one step after the other.

12:29And even, I think it was more than a year later, we, we kind of had both the same idea of, oh, it would be incredible cool to do an online summit. And I mentioned it somewhere in a chat or in a group, and Shelly saw it, and she called me, and we, we just had a brief chat about it, and we were really happy to, to see and hear from each other again. And Shelly saw deeply too. It was a huge shift in her consciousness from the moment when we first met to the second time we spoke to each other on the phone.

13:18And it was kind of seeing in each other the possibility of a person that really could support and be a part of your way from now on. It was this instant click on second— it was actually love on second sight.

13:50Rob CookI love that.

13:53Lea WernliAnd I literally, in no time, I think a few days later, I just took a train to Germany. Because actually, my husband and myself, we wanted to meet friends near Wiesbaden where Shellya lives. And I said, I'm, I'm coming. And so I stood there, and we went for a walk in the woods. And we had the idea of, hey, something is wrong with me and my secret life, because we just saw that the people are suffering and believing and thinking that there is something wrong with them.

14:36And we've deeply seen that that's not true, regardless of your story or past or, or whatever you've been through. And we just knew, we giggled and laughed. And I was in a purple suit with funny shoes, like hiking shoes, or what was it like?

15:03ShailiaYeah, Leah came in very finely dressed in like this purple arrangement. And then I was like, girl, you need some mud boots on. We're gonna go for a walk in the woods. So I forced her into some of my hiking boots. And she looked quite interested.

15:19Rob CookThat is so funny. I have a friend who called me one time. He said, hey, man, you mind, you know, going on this hike with me? And I was thinking like, okay, it can't be that bad. So I show up like, like, yeah, I'm, I'm not dressed for hiking, but if I, if I had to go to a restaurant, I could still go to a restaurant too. He looks at me and goes, you know we're hiking, right? I was like, yeah, I'll be fine. Oh my God, like, I wasn't ready, you know?

15:46I wasn't ready. But Shelley, before I give this to you, I do want to— this phrase you just said, I just have to highlight. You said, when I realized the bench was in me and not just outside my house. That's saying the space within. Like, that's, that's just another way of saying the space within. So I had to, to point that out because I love the way you said that. So, Shelly, we, we in the woods, out comes my secret life. Talk to me about what that has been like for you. I think you all started with 21 interviews first, correct?

16:25ShailiaYeah, we did.

16:27Rob CookAnd what has it been like?

16:30ShailiaIt's been crazy good. Just, you know, first and foremost, what was just so joyful about that project when we first were setting it up is that we knew there weren't a lot of people out in the German space, like Germany, Austria, Switzerland, that's just kind of the DACH region and where we work. And we knew there were some people who had come across the understanding, but there weren't that many. And there also weren't that many who had maybe, maybe just had the experience of speaking or would want to speak in public about what they saw.

17:05And so we just kind of knew from the beginning we wanted to reach out to some of the people from the English-speaking space who, you know, and And I have to say, every single person that we reached out to in the community, it didn't matter how well known they were or how long they've been doing this or how unknown we were, they just said yes. And I'm getting just chills just thinking about it because it was just the most welcoming, beautiful experience to go out and want to share this understanding.

17:39And just every single person saying yes and taking the time and coming on board, that was first and foremost, just so amazing. The second thing that happened was we were able to hold the interviews and we were able to hear all the people's stories. And one thing that happened for me, and Leah can tell you maybe what she saw in that situation, but what I saw, for example, when we talked to Dr. Deacon Bettinger or to Elsie Spittel, to the first generation that have been doing this for so, so long.

18:19They talked about their very first seeing. And I thought, wow, after all these years, after 35 years, 45 years, they go back to the very beginning. And they were speaking in such a simple way that was so full of feeling. So it really was, it was influential for me personally in the project, just to have that model of how, how to speak simply about this understanding. I learned a ton in those 21 interviews from that. And then the third thing which stands out when you ask is the impact was crazy.

19:05Yeah, it was like people would get on board. I think the first round, Leah, what do we have, like 2,100 people or something like that in the, in the range, half English and half German who came on board and people would get off of the 7 days and the 21 interviews really having been impacted. Some people being able to articulate their insights, a lot of people just being in the feeling of it and not even having a clue what had happened to them. But we would have, we would have people who would say, I'm speaking to my sister and I have a relationship with her again for the first time in 20 years, or a lady who reached out to us and said she doesn't know what happened, but she stopped binge eating, which is something she'd been doing all of her life.

19:56And she had been to therapy and coaching and like a million things. And all of the stories that started pouring in, I just— oh, I just want to cry when I, when I think about it. People's lives changed from that, those 7 days and those interview series. And we had no idea how impactful that, that was going to be. So yeah, that's the experience that, that, that I felt.

20:22Rob CookThe miracle of a story.

20:25Lea WernliYes. Yeah.

20:26ShailiaYeah.

20:26Rob CookThe sharing that, that moment, especially when we all at some point has driven or ridden through that, that space that says something's wrong with me, I'm not enough, I'm broken. So it's something about when the first gen— I love hearing any one of them speak when they go back to the beginning, uh, more so a lot I love hearing Elsie because she actually knew Syed prior to the insight and after. And so I just recently heard her talk about what it was like knowing the Scottish welderman and then knowing an enlightened soul.

21:07Yeah, like it was just beauty just listening to her articulate that and the ride that she went on, you know, in that. That is, um, such a beautiful thing. And, and you all have caught fire with this. Like, yeah, I know there are, there are people in this space who've been teaching this for a while, but you all are pretty prominent in your voices in your particular area. Um, and I'm pretty sure that's because of the beauty and the love and the humility which is radiating to me off the screen, uh, from you both. So you also have an inner circle as well, correct?

21:45Lea WernliYeah.

21:45ShailiaLeah, do you want to talk about that?

21:47Lea WernliYes, it's kind of a— it's, it's actually just inviting the voices from all around the world and open up this possibility of hearing them for the German-speaking space. And that's why we are doing quite a special thing. We, we, Shelly mostly, and I just jump in if necessary, we do simultaneous translation into German. And what it does is it really slows down the speakers. We also, again, we, we, um, we had, uh, like, um, a lot of the people out of My Secret Life coming, um, to the circle to speak to our audience in a different and also Q&A style, um, and to experience them was, or is, a, a great way to just deepen the understanding and to, to see how all these different people are human and how these principles are coming through them in their unique way.

23:14So to really experience that it's possible for them as a way to see that it's possible for yourself too, and in your pace, in your voice, in— with your insights. And that's what we really want to, to provide to our people, or to this growing audience. That's a kind of a grounding masterclass in a way.

23:47Rob CookI love that. Okay, so let's play a game. I just thought of it. Well, yep. Y'all faces went like, wait, what? Okay. Because I, I, yes, I do remember that in the— at least you mentioned for the Inner Circle, you do translations. So I want to play with that. Right?

24:06ShailiaOkay.

24:07Rob CookI want to ask a question.

24:09ShailiaOkay.

24:09Rob CookAll right. Which one of you wants to be translator?

24:13Lea WernliShelly?

24:13ShailiaI will do it because it's a certain time of night where Leah would not want to take on that job.

24:21Rob CookShe gets a little tired. So I'm going to ask a question. Okay. You'll repeat the question in German.

24:28ShailiaYes.

24:29Rob CookLeah, you'll answer in German, and then, Shell, you'll say it in English.

24:34ShailiaAll right, I got it.

24:35Rob CookYeah. All right, cool.

24:36Lea WernliI'm gonna do that.

24:37Rob CookYeah, I just— one, I want to see how it feels too, you know.

24:41ShailiaHe's practicing for next week. Yeah, exactly.

24:44Rob CookI didn't want to say it out loud So here we go. Okay, if there was one thing somebody needed to understand about the three principles, what would you say it would be?

25:01ShailiaWenn es eine Sache gibt, was jemand verstehen müsste über die drei Prinzipienlehre, was würdest du sagen wäre das Ding?

25:12Lea WernliEs ist alles da. Schau nach innen und du wirst wissen, was zu tun, zu sehen oder zu fühlen ist. Ein Schritt nach dem anderen. Vertrau dem Gefühl.

25:31ShailiaSo everything is already there. The only thing you need to do is Look within. There you will find the feeling and the knowing about your next step. Trust in that. Did I do good, Leah? It was a long sentence.

25:55Lea WernliSo I know, I'm so sorry because we don't do it.

26:00ShailiaYeah, just for next week when you're our guest, Rob. Short sentences. I'm not—

26:05Rob CookI said this is—

26:07ShailiaGod, I'm not a— I'm not an actual trained translator, just so we all know.

26:11Rob CookThat is beautiful. That was pretty cool. I like that.

26:14ShailiaYeah, that was really cool.

26:15Rob CookYeah, hearing the, the words sound different but the feeling is the same.

26:21ShailiaYeah, that's the goal, right? Like, that's the thing. That's the reason if you're gonna do this in your country— so this is for the people everywhere— one of the things we really learned on the My Secret Life Summit was just having a professional translator who doesn't know the understanding is maybe not the best idea because you'll get the words but not the feeling. Better to get someone who's in the understanding who's not a professional translator, but you'll get the feeling even if the words aren't perfect. So that's a tip for people who—

26:51Rob Cookthat's a very good tip. I do want to put you on the spot, and so I'm going to ask you both, what is it that you would like to say to the entire global community?

27:05ShailiaLeah, are you freezing up? Are you looking inside?

27:10Lea WernliLook inside.

27:12Rob CookLooking inside and freezing up does look closely to the same sometimes, you know.

27:19Lea WernliYeah, so I go, shall I?

27:21ShailiaGo ahead. Yeah, go, Leah.

27:23Lea WernliIt's not always comfortable to speak about the invisible, but it's so worth it because when you've been touched and your life changed and you just know, speak from your heart and trust that the person in front of you will hear what they need to hear in this moment.

27:59ShailiaYeah.

28:00Lea WernliAnd I'm so grateful for every single one out there doing this kind of work, being in the world with the knowing, sharing, supporting, and spreading this understanding.

28:20ShailiaYeah, I'm gonna, I'm gonna add something to the— or to say something to the community that I said to our coaches when we finished on the last day of our last coach training, because I know a lot of people in the community out there are wanting to share this understanding with other people, and some people are thinking about it, some people have already begun, some people are in the middle of it. Leah, Leah was she had that big insight and she started coaching and people started seeing and transforming.

28:51For me, it didn't happen that way. I was terrible at sharing this understanding. People would come into coaching and I would point and point and point and they wouldn't see it or get it. And I, I thought they weren't transforming. And it's just been in the last year and a half with Leah that I'm just starting to get my footing with the coaching and the speaking, and it's getting better. And, you know, don't worry about it wherever you are. You know, you just go for it. Just keep pointing, um, even if it doesn't look the way you think it should look. It's not looking like your mentor creates an impact or your coach created a transformation with you. It doesn't matter. Just keep going.

29:46Rob CookThank you for listening to today's episode. For more information about the podcast, please go to 3pgc.org. If you're looking for more information about how to become a practitioner or you want to be featured on the show as a new fresh voice in the principles, send us an email at info@3pgc.org. We'd love to hear from you. Knowing there is no end or limitation, nor are there boundaries to the human mind, have the day you deserve.