14 – Back in the Real World with a New Understanding

0:01Lea WernliSo we—

0:04Shailia Stephensso hello and welcome to a new episode of Time for You. I don't know, we're just having a giggle. Yes, it crossed over into after I'd already pushed the recording button, but why not start with a little giggle?

0:19Lea WernliYes.

0:20Shailia StephensSo my name is Shelly-Ann Stephens, and I'm coming to you today from near Frankfurt am Main. This is my beautiful friend and colleague Leah Wambli from Zurich, Switzerland.

0:32Lea WernliHi.

0:32Shailia StephensAnd I've just found out that Leah has a topic for today, but I don't know what it is. So here we go, Leah. It's all yours. The microphone.

0:43Lea WernliSo, um, I, it's so interesting to me at the moment to really be in life. And what do I mean? About what do I mean by that is, as a coach or mentor or teacher, I'm often in a bubble. Like, I work with long-term clients, and it's a really deep and connected relationship, and I love that. And also my family. Yeah, I've got teenage boys and, and a home and, and a lot going on, but it's really— and a beautiful, lovely husband, and everything is kind of okay and good and, and just connected and, um, not a lot of drama at all.

1:46And The last year, probably, yeah, the most. I've also been back into schools and doing coaching there, and even for a very small percentage, I worked as a special needs teacher. But yeah, and it's a lot of coaching in there, but I'm in this Like real life. And it's— it sometimes I do feel like an alien, not alien alien, but I'm coming into these spaces and rooms and discussions that people have and I think interesting. And to experience this understanding we are often talking about, it's the 3 principles or mind, consciousness, and thought really changed the way I'm in life.

3:04And I feel when I'm caught up in my thinking quite fast and when I'm present. And I see and experience a lot of people who are often caught up in their thinking. And it seems so real for them. And then it seems so valid. in the school system or in class or in these discussions. And I can see from where it comes from. And I want to take the people serious without taking their thinking too serious.

4:01Shailia StephensHmm.

4:02Lea WernliAnd that's where I'm dancing at the moment quite often, like really being there, really hearing, whoa, that was difficult with this student or this parent or this boss, and, and seeing and, and having a lot of compassion for the human experience. feeling bad and insecure and angry and not understood and not getting caught up in the same idea or concept or reality.

4:49Shailia StephensMm-hmm.

4:52Lea WernliAnd to, to, to be a, a help, a, a presence, a possibility for a solution, a human being who is just there and listens and understands. And I really like it. And I see that I'm, I can't just go full into it. You know what I mean?

5:30Shailia StephensYeah.

5:30Lea WernliAnd sometimes maybe that seems strange or I noticed agitated people. Do you say that? Agitated? sometimes want me to be as agitated as them. Also be agitated. And I don't want to. And I'm not. And being okay with this dissonance sometimes, or this That it can cause insecurity.

6:19Shailia StephensOn the part of the other person.

6:24Lea WernliOn the part of the other person. And out of love, not going there. That was a bit, um, I babbled, but you know what I mean? It's just, Also being reminded of, oh, that's going on and I was there too and I totally get it and I see it and it's so weird. Sometimes I almost can't remember that, that it was that important to me too, but it was.

7:01Shailia StephensYeah.

7:02Lea WernliAnd it looked real. And it looked solid and important and serious.

7:10Shailia StephensSerious.

7:12Lea WernliYeah.

7:14Shailia StephensYeah.

7:14Lea WernliWhat do you hear in that? I'm—

7:16Shailia Stephenswell, I hear a lot in that. That, that really reminds me of a conversation that I had, um, with Dr. Dicken Bettinger last year. Um, at the beginning of the year, I was doing some one-on-one coaching with him. And I was kind of in a similar situation, you know. I have been in the 3P bubble for the longest time. Like, literally almost 100% of the people I was surrounded by were, you know, in the understanding, and it was just like such a lovely fluffy space.

7:46Lea WernliYes.

7:47Shailia StephensEveryone was so kind and, you know, oh, sorry, sorry I said that, that was just, that was my personal thinking.

7:54Lea WernliYes, I know.

7:56Shailia StephensUsually it was me apologizing. But, you know, last year I got out of the bubble and into kind of, let's say, a real life space as well. And I remember, you know, having this conversation with Dicken about it because I was struggling. So here's how I was struggling. For me, it was sometimes a bit like being an alcoholic who had You know, um, what do you call it when you, when you come out of alcoholism? How do you call that?

8:30Lea WernliUm, I'm a recovering addict.

8:35Shailia StephensRecovered. You're a recovering addict. Yeah, you're dry. I don't know what the language is because it's not my form of addiction. I have other ones. But, um, you know, and then you put that person in a bar, you know, 7 months into their, um, recovery or 2 years later. I don't know. It's like, to me, kind of going back into that real life space, really, I got lost in it a bit sometimes, right? I got drawn right back into the concepts and the thinking and the things that looked important.

9:04And I would be like, oh, yes, these are important. That happened to me. But also, oftentimes I didn't get pulled into it, but I didn't know how to, let's say, interact anymore in a way. And What Dicken was pointing me to, because he had gone through that in his career, because, you know, he worked in businesses and large corporations with teams, with bosses who would be the person to pay the money for the trainings but weren't in the trainings, you know. And he had to find a way to be with them in a conscious, loving space but not be an asshole. And what I mean by that—

9:46Lea WernliThat's it.

9:48Shailia StephensAnd what I mean by that is like, let's just take one of the things that I was doing in the 3 principles bubble. So like, you and I had this a lot when we were doing our business together. Like, you'd be like, okay, so we wanna, um, how do we wanna, how do we wanna communicate this new program we've created? And I'd be like, you know, I don't know, let me sit with that a few days. Or sometimes even weeks would go by. And then, you know, something would come to us and we'd be cool with that, you know, like whenever mind gives it And Dickens was saying, you know, for, for people in the real world, they want answers right now.

10:31And he's like, you know, you can say to them, let me sit with this a couple of days. You know, he's like, you can only do that so often. He's like, don't— he said, he said to me something like, don't be an asshole. He's like, he's like, you know, part of this balance is understanding, just as an example, we have an unlimited connection to mind in the moment. And in that moment, if we come into a compassionate place of seeing they would like to look in the direction of an answer and we agree to play that game, we can just see what mind gives us in that moment right away.

11:09Right? Well, see, that hadn't occurred to me because I was sort of off in sort of fairyland waiting for days for something to come to me, which is fine too.

11:19Lea WernliMm-hmm.

11:20Shailia StephensYou can absolutely do that. So, you know, I think what I'm trying to say is we had that conversation on a couple of different levels. And some of the situations you're talking about where you don't get agitated when the other person gets agitated or things like that, and just finding a way to lovingly be in balance, like with one foot in the real world and one foot In the spiritual world, if you so speak. And that really helped me a lot. Um, but like you said, there's a point to which, you know, your understanding won't let you go further than that.

11:58Like, you're not just gonna get, um, fake agitated to help the other person out, right? That's not it. So that's what I heard when you, when you said that. What did you hear?

12:09Lea WernliJust totally. And, and I I really love it as well. And it's because what, what we want to talk about here in this podcast is being real, being authentic, being in the world, and knowing this cool shit is, is a real gift. So we don't have to hide, we don't have to stay in our little bubble, we don't have to just eat chocolate and ride the pony every day. And I wanted to say a German saying, life is not a pony hop, and I didn't find the English. How would you say that?

13:12Shailia StephensWell, from now on I'm gonna say, I chuckled and ride the pony.

13:22Lea WernliWe can, and we now know how to, but it's, it's a lot more fun to, to be out there. Yeah, to be out there. And actually, I have to tell you that I had not just one police interaction in January. For the English podcast, you don't know that. I had 4. So, was ist die Busse?

13:55Shailia StephensThey're fine.

13:57Lea WernliFine. So one day, I got not one fine, I got 3 fines because I didn't know that I was on a street that was not allowed anymore. So of course I paid the first one. I'm in the real world and I did something wrong and it was like, what the— okay, yeah, of course. And because I was not that agitated or angry or really sad or shameful, it was just like, oh, if, oh, feel it, okay, put it away. What would help? What could I do in the moment? I wrote to the police. First I called. And I told her I used to be a teacher and Nowadays on the examinations, we don't count the same mistake twice anymore.

15:09Shailia StephensWhat does that mean exactly? Explain that.

15:12Lea WernliIt means if you're a student and you make a mistake and you've got a point less for your grade, when you're making the exact same mistake on the same examination, you're not gonna have another point.

15:30Shailia StephensSo that means— let me give an example. So that means like if you wrote the word there, um, T-H-E-I-R, yes, and it actually was supposed to be T-H-E-R-E, yes, you did that 4 times, yes, you only count the mistake once?

15:46Lea WernliYes.

15:47Shailia StephensOkay.

15:47Lea WernliAnd I'm a special needs teacher, so that's in my field for sure. You don't count it 4 times. It's just once. So I told the lady on the phone at the police station about being a teacher, blah, blah, blah. And she had to laugh. And she said, yes, write that in this Appeal.

16:13Shailia StephensAppeal.

16:15Lea WernliSo I did that, and 2 weeks later, the city police of Zurich wrote to me that they agreed and that they don't have to do it, but that for this time, I just had to pay like the one I already paid and not the 2 other ones. Yeah. So That's the magic of it. Like, yes, of course, in the real world things happen. People happen, police happens, interactions, people who have other ideas, or we bump into another reality. But with The things we know. We are able to be more creative and lighter often, not always, but often around everyday life stuff.

17:21And it's, do you remember when we said to each other, it's like having the manual? It's like knowing the instruction manual, like knowing the rules. And it's just more fun to play, even when I'm not just hanging around with all the 3D sweethearts. It's more fun to also be with people who are in a separate reality. We all are, but who experience things differently and see... What's going on. were seeing the world differently. I always hear or see something when I listen closely or deep.

18:11Shailia StephensYeah.

18:12Lea WernliAnd it's also okay to lose myself and to to be a part of something sometimes.

18:31Shailia StephensYeah. Oh yeah, I don't know. Oh yeah, for sure.

18:34Lea WernliLike everything.

18:35Shailia StephensFor sure, no matter what it is. Um, like, what was one thing that was coming to me when you were talking is like, just, I mean, in general, how much is the way we've learned to bond in our society revolved around having common problems and having a place to vent them, gossip them out. Um, you know, it's okay sometimes to join in on the venting bus or—

19:01Lea WernliTotally.

19:02Shailia StephensAnd get back out, right? And, or just, just be part of life in just whatever ways that you, you can. Yeah.

19:14Lea WernliYeah. I heard someone say That she sees enlightenment totally different. She said that she thinks that enlightenment is everybody together through all time and space, and not me now or you. now, but all of us at once, all the time, over, over infinity.

19:59Shailia StephensOh, I love that. That just really, really resonates with me.

20:03Lea WernliActually, she didn't say that. I said—

20:06Shailia StephensI love that. I love that because, you know, It's really true. It feels, feels like truth with a capital T to me.

20:15Lea WernliMm-hmm.

20:15Shailia StephensI was, I was on the balcony the other night with a neighbor of mine, and we were talking about, you know, being on the way to waking up to, to more freedom inside, a more unconditional love. And, um, we were also noticing some other people who were on the opposite path to control and more tightness. And well, all of that together is It's everything happening at once. It's all the facets of the spectrum being lived out in any given moment. And isn't that, isn't that the consciousness breathing life into, into the form? Absolutely, absolutely. And honoring everyone no matter what path they're on, because they're part of all of the The enlightenment.

21:05Lea WernliThat's kind of lighter, you know.

21:10Shailia StephensYeah, it's—

21:13Lea Wernliwe can give it to all the shoulders. It's not just ours. No. And, and knowing in this lifetime, in this form, we've got This amount of time and also being committed to that, like both ends.

21:42Shailia StephensVery cool, very cool, Leah. So Leah, do you want to close this off? I'd just like to test her ability. Come on, Lea.

21:56Lea WernliYeah. Do it, do it. Follow us.

22:00Shailia StephensOn?

22:02Lea WernliOn Spotify, Apple, and all the other whatever possibilities are out there to listen to podcasts on every, um, yeah, blah blah blah. I don't know, I'm not that good in this kind of things. So if you like what we just were talking about. And if you don't give a F, um, that I have to search for my words today, and I sing sometimes a song, and if you really like the interaction between Shelia and myself, it's kind of having fun for you, with you, and maybe something touches something in you, and that's what we are all about, to just walk each other home somehow.

22:59So share and like, and, um, maybe you write us something. We really love that. We already had 2 people writing, and that was so cool to hear from you guys. Thank you.

23:16Shailia StephensSuper cool to hear from you guys. See you the next time on Time for You. Bye, Leah. Bye, guys.

23:21Lea WernliBye.