43 – Gratitude in Real Life: Finding the Good, Even When Life’s Messy

0:01Shailia StephensHi, Leah.

0:02Lea WernliHey, Celia.

0:03Shailia StephensHi, everyone listening. Welcome back to Time for You. Um, we just had an agreement. We're gonna do a fun little short episode and, um, we're gonna do what we're actually here to do is like talk to each other. I was on, um, I was on Isla's mastermind call the other day. I didn't see you there. Did you miss the one on Wednesday night?

0:28Lea WernliI understand.

0:29Shailia StephensYeah. And one of the, the questions that she asked was, what is going well right now? Like, what is going well in your life, in your business, in your health? Like, whatever the thing is. And everybody started talking about what was going well for them. And it was so fun. It was so uplifting. And I think it's something that we don't do enough. Like, talking about what's going well. And I thought it'd be fun for the listeners too to like maybe have a think in their own life what's going well. Maybe this episode will inspire you. So, Lea, yeah, what's going well in your life? We haven't talked like personally in a bit.

1:12Lea WernliWhat's going well in my life? Actually, the— I, I'm very happy with my personal life, with my family and my amore. That's my husband. Um, it's just a deep, connected, um, loving relationship. We kiss every day.

1:38Shailia StephensOh.

1:41Lea WernliAnd, um, we are not like this, um, kind of sweethearts that haven't had a rocky parts. We had very rocky parts in our relationship. Um, we, we tried out a lot of different things and, and ways. And nowadays it's really this deep friendship, this huge respect, this, um, attraction that, that we somehow could, could not conserve, but, but even grow over time. Um, it's really amazing. And we, every day we say to each other, we are lucky bastards because we have what we have.

2:38So really, this gratitude and, and being aware that, that that's important to us. And we, we, a part of our focus is on, on this relationship, like to dedicate time and, and, and space to explore whatever is on our mind or what we need or, um, how we, how we move forward. So that's really good. Then we had a dance party. The boys, the teenager boys and myself yesterday evening, we danced in the kitchen and the older one was the DJ and we had like hits from the '90s to till today and we made fun and we, we were singing out loud and just really They're 2, they're normal teenage boys.

3:47They've got football in their head, like, and gaming, and are not so fond of studying as all the teenage boys probably around the world. And maybe girls are on their mind and not what the mother says or wants, or— But somehow we, we have a There too, it's a connection. It's deep love. It's— I changed my— how I parent changed drastically after I came across the principles, and that did build up over time. And now, now it's just built in to, to parent from, from the heart. So we had stuff coming up, and it's not that easy, or not always easy, but, but we navigate it in a completely different way than we used to. So that's very good.

4:59Shailia StephensHmm.

4:59Lea WernliAnd I am deeply in love with all of my clients. And my, my VA is just such a cute, loving, capable, cool person. Shout out to Andrea.

5:18Shailia StephensAndrea, heck yeah!

5:21Lea WernliShe is the best, the best. So like, um, It's all of that is somehow in, in flow, and I'm, I'm so happy and, and grateful. So that makes it very easy to navigate like everyday things or, or struggles or Herausforderungen. What's Herausforderungen?

5:58Shailia StephensChallenges.

5:58Lea WernliChallenges to, to be grounded in myself and the understanding, of course. And there is some news. I signed up for a year-long program in healing, in a healing modality. Oh, and it's so interesting because Yes, we don't need anything. And what I just realized, that I did a lot before I came to this understanding, and somehow this subconscious work, this energy healing work— I've always had like a healer side to what I do. Um, I, I already was quite free. like my channel in a way.

6:52Shailia StephensYeah.

6:53Lea WernliThis was already freed up, and, and I just see that what I'm doing could be very helpful for, for people, and for certain people, and for people who will be drawn to that kind of work, or that could be a doorway in with the knowing we're whole and And, and we are, we are already all of it.

7:23Shailia StephensHmm.

7:23Lea WernliAnd what I see is when, when some patterns that, that also people are sometimes not aware in, in the community, they've seen, oh, I feel my thinking, or, oh, mind is there for me, and still There is a lot of subconscious pattern going on, and they're hinderly. They're not, um, it's not that easy to step into action or to really change or to, to start to clean up the mess that they probably produced over the years in their stormy thinking. Yeah, some of this energy psychology, hypnotherapy. It's heart healing that Nicola Bird was talking about. That's what I'm, I'm going to do, one thing of all of it. And could be helpful to kind of make it possible to hear deeper.

8:32Shailia StephensMm-hmm.

8:33Lea WernliTo Maybe also to, to be able to step into action even when you're not yet seeing or feeling what it's all about. I, I, you know me, I follow mind, and yeah, it could look crazy, or why, or what's going on there. I, I just do it, and I, I'm I know that something is there for me to see or for my clients. So a lot of good stuff is happening in my life.

9:13Shailia StephensYeah.

9:16Lea WernliOh, and my youngsters, they're doing good, my young clients. So that's always a, a big win. I'm so happy That there is always hope and there is always change and there is always a possibility for transformation and seeing things in a new way. Yeah.

9:42Shailia StephensYeah, that's so beautiful. Yeah, I'm going to ask you after the podcast more details about the kids because, you know, I always want to know how each one of them is doing and we can't talk about that on the podcast, but that makes me happy to hear that they're doing well.

9:57Lea WernliYes, they do. How about you?

10:01Shailia StephensHow about me? Oh, Leah, so much good stuff going on. Um, I'm, I'm feeling better in, in my physical body. Um, I— for those of you who don't know, like, I struggled so much since September 2021 with, um, so many things, with perimenopause and panic attacks and stress and heart palpitations. I mean, a million things, and, uh, constant exhaustion. And it's like not all of that is 100% gone, but a lot of it has gotten a lot better. I've been doing a vitamin D3 highly dosed kind of cure every 6 weeks or so.

10:45And that has really, really helped me along with some other supplements to just improve my physical body. And that's maybe something also for— Everyone out there. You can have the best spiritual understanding, the best psychological understanding, but sometimes your body is just not functioning properly and it's dragging you down. So it's helpful when that starts to subside. So I'm much more often in a good mood with a lot of energy, and I've been enjoying that a lot, especially on the weekends, Leah, because I—

11:21Lea WernliYeah.

11:21Shailia Stephensnot having to sleep as much, um, because of the exhaustion. So it's been really good. Um, and I was just thinking about, hmm, how's— how I have so many relationships in my life, you know? Um, but yesterday, um, my husband came home. He was skiing the last week and he brought me, um, 3 things. Um, so here they are. He brought flowers. Which is like an almost never happens situation. Like, just flowers. They're over there on my windowsill. He brought me a bag of salted popcorn because we've been watching—

12:02Lea WernliOh, salted popcorn!

12:05Shailia StephensI love popcorn. I love popcorn so much. We've been watching White Lotus on the 3rd season. You too? And so he was like, we're going to watch it. So he brought me some popcorn and then he brought me a power bank home last night. And he just was like, here. And I'm like, what's this? He's like, it's a power bank. And I'm like, oh. He's like, well, didn't you say you didn't have a power bank and you'd like one when you're traveling? And I was like, I did. You heard me. You actually remembered that.

12:34Lea WernliMm-hmm.

12:34Shailia StephensAnd I just felt like so loved, so seen, so thought of yesterday. And I just, you know, I had to really take a moment and realize how kind that is. You know, it's like when you've been with someone for 30 years, you just start to take things for granted. Like, oh yeah, he just went grocery shopping and he's bringing this stuff with him. But no, it's like a special moment. Like on one day, 3 things where he thought of me and wanted me to feel happy and brought it home. So that was just wonderful. I'm just gonna, I'm gonna go tell him again after the podcast is over.

13:14Lea WernliTell him hi.

13:15Shailia StephensI will tell him hello. So that's going well. And what's been really cool the last couple weeks, Leah, is we've had some really cool developments on the African projects.

13:27Lea WernliMm-hmm.

13:28Shailia StephensUm, I'll, I'll tell you one thing that really made my heart happy this week. Um, we got, uh, a new donor. I think I, I told, I told you, or I don't know if it's, I've said it on the podcast, but one of the many projects that we have going on, we have like clean water projects going and hygiene stuff, health, um, all kinds of stuff. Um, But one of the things that made me so happy was we had some pictures had been taken of the sleeping situation of the children. And of the 25 children, the majority of them didn't have any beds. They were sleeping on the floor on like just thin covers, all in one heap.

14:10Lea WernliMm-hmm.

14:12Shailia StephensAnd of the beds that existed, they were just kind of falling apart and they'd been rained on because the roof was leaking and the mattresses or the, I mean, they weren't even real mattresses. That like foam pieces were just all moldy and stuff. And you know, you don't want to have your kids sleep like that every day. And so we, um, had some beds made. Um, we have, so for, for the 25 kids, we had 13 bunk beds made, uh, from a carpenter.

14:42Lea WernliMm-hmm.

14:43Shailia StephensAnd we got, uh, this wood called, uh, iroko wood. It's called African teak. It's, uh, termite resistant. It's fungus resistant. This sounds crazy for people who maybe have bought a bed for their child. You wouldn't think about that in Europe or America, but you have to think about that there because they're at the equator. It's like a very hot and moist environment. So we got the really great wood that the beds will last, and they got delivered with all of the mattresses on this, like, one big cart.

15:15They were stacked up sky-high. And I've never seen the kids so happy, Leah. They were just— Oh, my gosh. Over the moon excited for the first time, most of them to have their own bed to sleep in, and they just couldn't get over the miracle of it. So that happened. We had a doctor come in last weekend for the small kids under eleven, eleven down. He was so kindly. He did an examination with each of the kids. We found some chronic illness, some eyesight issues, some ear nose throat stuff, some skin stuff.

15:53stuff. And each of the kids now is going to be— who have the special thing is going to get to go to a specialist and get that taken care of. One little girl with alopecia, her hair is falling out, she's got HIV. So it's just bringing health and happiness into the orphanage. And we do that, you know, all the time with our 3P classes and, you know, finding happiness from within and joy within. Like, you don't need those beds, you don't need that doctor to find your deepest, most beautiful life happiness, but it's a huge cherry on top when your physical needs are also getting met. Um, so that's good. And—

16:37Lea WernliI love that so much.

16:39Shailia StephensYeah, it's so good. And then we had this, um, such fun thing happened, Leah, um, in the refugee camp in Naki Valley. We changed the way we were doing things. We decided this year to focus on 5 people from each of the 5 villages, um, the people who showed up to most of the meetings, who had grown much in understanding. And we created an advanced course for them, um, that we're going to do for 6 months. So we meet like 3 times a month online, and 1 time a month, uh, they come literally on motorcycles to the main base camp office.

17:14And we're going to do like a gathering where they get refreshments and get to know each other from other villages and stuff like that. So we started that last Monday, and it was so funny, Leo, We thought we were going to see 25 people because that's the way the selection process went. There were probably 60, 75 people that showed up. They got new phones and new data so that they didn't have any at the moment, so they could take part in the classes.

17:41And you could just see a sea of people because they were like, this stuff is so good, you've got to come. Like, they invited everybody from the jungle out in the places. Like, they were all there. There was a whole row of, like, women breastfeeding their babies and And like, it was, it was crazy. And I said to Harry afterwards, I was like, isn't this the advanced track? Like, weren't we supposed to— didn't we want to limit it to 25 people? And Harry was like, yeah, we'll just go with the flow.

18:09I'm like, okay. Yeah. So that's so cool. And I'm, I'm, I'm teaching beside Harry, which is like massively intimidating because he's, you know, 79. He'd learned from Sydney Banks. He spent 40 years on Syd's side. And sometimes my mind is like, do you have to say that Harry doesn't say 1,000 times better? But thank goodness I'm just not caring about that and just showing up and letting mine come through me. And yeah, it's beautiful. So that's going really well. And yeah, otherwise, yeah.

18:45Lea WernliRemember when Shelia told me years ago that she really would love to do some NGO works, or as she didn't know what or how or where. Just life unfolded and she was pointed in the direction, and it actually happened through this podcast. Yes, Mary heard through this podcast. And we really, guys, we just followed a nudge, like, I want to hang out with you, let's do the podcast, let's do it for ourselves. That's was— that was the start. So just to let you know.

19:30Shailia StephensYeah, yeah.

19:31Lea WernliWhatever occurs.

19:33Shailia StephensYeah, do whatever occurs. You never know where it's taking you. You never know. Yeah, so that's been— that's just a beautiful experience, and it's bringing me so much joy, uh, at the moment. And yeah, so up to the clients, Leah, you know, I've been— I've been— I've had this heartfelt desire for so long to work with more private individuals on like life topics. And I could so relate to what you said about just being in love with all of your clients.

20:03Me too. I feel like I've got the best clients on the planet right now, like half of them business clients, half of them life coaching clients. And you know what I feel so happy about, Leah? For the longest time, I didn't feel ready for transformative coaching. I didn't feel good enough. I didn't feel transformative enough. And now Going through that deep, dark period the last couple of years and like finding my spiritual self and awakening to new things, I feel so capable, so easily ready to help these people.

20:39I have so much trust in myself and trust in mind, because that's really what it's anyway all about. But just showing up empty and being myself, and it's a whole different experience of showing up in coaching when you're coming from that. space than from as before. I mean, I was a great coach before, but now I feel it's just so up-leveled. It's so different. And I can feel it. And I can feel it in the way that my clients are moving forward, how their lives are transforming, how their understanding is transforming. So that's a beautiful experience that's going on. Yeah.

21:19Lea WernliSo much. That's Oh, that's just amazing. My heart is overflowing with love and joy.

21:27Shailia StephensIt did a downward thumb on the Zoom. It just showed a downward thumb. Hey, Leah, you have a secret, some feeling that the AI is recognizing that I don't know. Yeah, so it's— I could go on and on and on. Like, the dogs are healthy. just so much good stuff. And at the same time, you and I had the— that episode, um, back in December where we had all that craziness going on. That's still there, like it's not really changed. But, um, yeah, I think it's fun to highlight also what's going well, no?

22:06Lea WernliAnd really, for you guys, take it as an invitation to just look at that part in your life, because our, our intellect forgets it so easily in like everyday life that there are so many things that are good and are going well. Yeah.

22:31Shailia StephensYeah, 100%.

22:33Lea WernliSo that's it.

22:33Shailia StephensThat's the short episode. Um, Leah, I need to jump off because I actually have a client in 5 minutes, but you want to take us out on the podcast?

22:42Lea WernliSo we, we are really— we are so— and you guys, you are a part of that. We are grateful for all of you, for you listening to us hanging out and just sharing and being together. And the biggest hope for us is that it gives you a moment for yourself, like a little peace of mind. This is just a space where you can rejuvenate and, and see maybe some hope or light for yourself. So thank you again. And if there is something in it for you, yeah, let's share the love. Share it with whoever could benefit from a little hangout together. And, um, see you next time. Bye.

23:33Shailia StephensSee you next time. Bye-bye.