27 – When To Do Nothing and Create Space for Something Amazing

0:02Shailia StephensSo hi and welcome back to another episode of Time for You. My name is Shaleia Stephens, coming to you from just around the corner from Frankfurt am Main in Germany. And I'm here with my beautiful friend and colleague, Leah Bandley. Hi, Leah.

0:16Lea WernliHi.

0:17Shailia StephensLeah's over in Zurich in Switzerland and she's having some lunch. Leah, who brought you that lunch? Was it your son or your husband?

0:24Lea WernliHe made a wonderful salad with carrots and tomatoes and scrambled egg.

0:32Shailia StephensThat sounds very good. Mino is our little Jamie Oliver since as long as I've known you, Leah. When he was a little boy— that's Leah's youngest son— he was always interested in cooking. And he, yes, he was kind of like always Jamie Oliver, right?

0:45Lea WernliOur cat is named Jamie because of Jamie Oliver. We always watched Jamie Oliver together as a, in, in, as a TV show. Yeah, not kids program, but cooking programs.

0:59Shailia StephensYeah, and Mina's not so little anymore. He's just like solidly in the middle of teenager life, but he's the coolest kid. Yeah, so Leah, we finished off the last episode, and we wanted to pick up sort of on this topic of when we don't do things we should do, and we do do things we shouldn't do. And I don't know if our understanding of it is the same, but that's okay. We'll figure it out on the go. I was reminded when you said that of a really recent conversation with a client, a wonderful person who was building something in her life.

1:46She has sort of an existing job. She's employed somewhere, which is a great thing, and she's building like a new thing on the side. And She was kind of coming on the call and she was really beating herself up about all the things that she felt like she should be doing, but that she wasn't. She was reporting to me of like being in a bit of a motivational slump, or she used words like feeling she was too lazy. She was talking about Kind of like, you know, what we do sometimes is we put a label on ourselves in general.

2:32We take this one thing that we feel like isn't going well for us and we say, in general, I'm a person who, you know, I'm a person who doesn't get her shit together. Like, I'm in vacation mode. I'm the kind of person who gets in vacation mode and doesn't get out of it. You know, like all these types of ways that we criticize ourselves in a way, label ourselves in a way. And I could really feel in the, in the, in the depth of our conversation that she was trying to make herself do something where actually right now there's nothing to do.

3:12And one of the stories that came up for me during that coaching was something that just recently happened within the last couple of days for me. And you know, Leon, in coaching, especially in the 3 Ps understanding, we love telling stories out of our lives and helping the clients to relate that we're just people too. And this is how it comes up for us. And so the story is this. Last year, I was on my summer sabbatical. Last year, I took those 4 or 5 months off where I just was in a really low place in my inner being.

3:48And I realized at some point, I need to just step back and take a break from everything. And I didn't do anything. I was like swimming every day, cleaning the house, making, you know, lunch, cooking for myself and my husband, playing with the dogs. And at some point, after some time had passed, I started to set— my mind started to settle down. I was sleeping better. I was regenerating. But especially being in a really calm mind, in a place of a good feeling and also of gratitude for everything that, you know, I already had, my spiritual energy started to rise again, as it always does when we are able to calm our mind and come back home.

4:39Right. And so I started to kind of get some inspiration and some ideas. And I was, you know, starting to see like, Okay, what am I going to do after this sabbatical is over? And one of the things that came up for me is I had just this sort of heartfelt desire in some way to make a contribution to the world. And, you know, like, I have a lot of people around me, one of them is my best friend, who she spends all of her day, every day in her career, like helping to secure food in the world that we all have things to eat in the year 2050, you know, whether it's protecting grains in Africa, or fish in Indonesia.

5:22She's just like travels around the world to make that happen. And that's super inspiring for me. And I started having this idea of maybe working for an NGO in or like giving some of my time. It didn't— I wasn't thinking necessarily it had to be like a paid position or something. And I remember last summer, I started to like kind of look out into the world and my network and see like, who do I know that's already working in this area of contribution?

5:52contribution, you know, and I had some conversations with Alyssa. I spoke with Tatiana Kiel, who's, you know, the founder, the co-founder of We Are Ukrainians. I spoke with Alf Piller, who's working to save birds in Bavaria, and who's been doing that for many, many years and is now the CEO of that organization. And I looked online, you know, I scanned the whole internet, like, what are things and possibilities And then I don't know when it happened, but it was after maybe just a very short time of about 2 weeks.

6:32I realized, oh, I'm, I'm, I'm moving away from inspiration to this place where I think I'm supposed to make this happen. And I really could feel within myself, like really just consulting with my inner wisdom. Is there something for me to do here, or is there not anything for me to do? And this is going to sound crazy to the people maybe who are listening, because, you know, we have sort of been socially conditioned, like, if you have an inspiration, you have a goal, there's something you want to achieve, of course you have to go do something, you know, to make that happen. And I just felt, no, there's nothing to do here.

7:17Lea WernliMm-hmm.

7:17Shailia Stephensthere's nothing to do here. And I've sort of, over the last 10 years, after stumbling across this understanding and getting more like in a feel— a felt space of my inner wisdom, like kind of know when it's a no, it's a no. So I can go out there and try to pull the grass and make it grow, or it's not going to help, right? So I just let it go completely.

7:41Lea WernliCompletely.

7:43Shailia StephensAnd I started just focusing on what is fun for me right now, you know? And it was right about that time, Leah, that last year that you contacted me and said, do we want to do something for The English List? Would you like to start a podcast? This podcast, right?

7:59Lea WernliYes.

8:00Shailia StephensAnd I was like, oh my gosh, there's nothing I can imagine more fun than to hang out with Leah. We don't see each other. It's like we, we do this actually for ourselves and not for you guys, just so you know. So we hang out together. And it was just those little things like following the fun impulses that life was giving us. And, you know, back in April this year, Harry Dobitsky contacted me. And he had been listening to this podcast. He only listened to it once, he admits, on a private call.

8:30But he was like, I could feel this love and this like sense of joy that you guys have. And he was like, I knew you guys were you know, you had seen something, you, you were, you were in your God space. And he wanted to come on the podcast to do the 3 PM Africa call, which we did last week on Thursday. If you haven't heard it, you probably have by the time this podcast comes out. If not, go back a couple of episodes and hear it. It was just one of the most amazing calls.

8:59But Harry, Harry, within the last year and a half, has been a catalyst for this major movement of bringing the 3 principles to refugee camps in Uganda and Kenya. And he didn't pursue it. Life gave it to him, and he took the ball and ran with it. And he's doing an amazing job, as are all the other people involved. But anyway, point being, on Friday, I get an email from Harry, and he's like, Shellya, he was like, I read the way you summarized the call.

9:34And he was like, I really could feel God's doing his work through you. And he's like, it just was written in a way that people really start to understand about the work we're doing. And he's like, I really want to work with you. I've got this lady in Kenya, and he told me her background, and I don't want to— I don't want to talk about it here because it's too personal, um, but she's got some really heavy stuff that's happened in her life very recently, and she's needing some support.

10:01And he's like, Would you mind coaching her once a week? Right? And I was like, you know, I'd love to do that. And so we have a call today. We have a call this afternoon. And so for me, it's one of those times, and I don't know where this is going. You know, maybe we'll have 12 calls and maybe we'll have 1 call. Maybe nothing else will ever come of it. I don't know. Maybe before you— I know it in 6 months, I'll be coaching 5 other people from the refugee camps.

10:31Lea WernliMm-hmm.

10:31Shailia StephensI have no idea. It's not really that. But I could just see that life is bringing it to me. It brought me the impulse to want to do it, and it brought me the way forward, and it gave me the information that there was nothing to do in between necessarily. Now, did I get active when Harry reached out to me? Totally.

10:54Lea WernliRight.

10:55Shailia StephensI spent hours speaking with him in preparation. I spent time and thoughtfulness putting the invitation together. I cared about that call. I put my effort into it. I manifested with my hands, like all the things that happened there together with you guys. Right. And but there was nothing to do before that.

11:14Lea WernliMm-hmm.

11:15Shailia StephensSo those are times when if I had tried to go into that shoulding area, I'm not sure that it would have done anything if not hinder the unfolding. And then, Leah, what we talked about in some episodes before too, and I'm just like starting to get a feeling for it too more, and sometimes the opposite is true.

11:40Lea WernliYes.

11:41Shailia StephensAnd I don't know if you want to like take that ball and roll with that when the opposite is true, because I think you've seen a lot about this recently as well. Yeah.

11:49Lea WernliOh, thank you, Shelia. It was so nice to listen to you and everything you shared, and I really felt your soul and your heart and your whole being lit up. That's just so, so cool. Yes. Yes, sometimes there is something to do when we don't want to do it, or think there isn't anything to do, or because probably it's coming from the all-oneness Like everything always, um, everything always at once, like now. Um, the neediness, the stress, the I want to, the not good enough, the insecure, the secure, everything is Just is.

12:53Shailia StephensHmm.

12:56Lea WernliAnd, and we can create the reality also when we're in the middle of all of what we don't want to experience, because it's not going anywhere. It's not changing who we are. It's not doing anything to us. It just is, as well as the inspiration and the flow and the wow, how cool it feels when we are in life. And it's the same, we just think that it's different. So sometimes We want to have a better feeling to do things. And sometimes that's the case.

13:58But we also just can do whatever occurs to us to do and be okay with not feeling okay while we're doing it and, and doing it anyway. And what I've seen is the more we just accept however we feel and do nothing with the feeling, the being in life and what, what's there to do or not do is, um, becomes visible. Or—

14:38Shailia StephensYeah.

14:39Lea Wernliis, um, is easier to spot somehow.

14:45Shailia StephensYeah.

14:45Lea WernliAnd but what we tend to do is, oh, I did something even though I knew that I shouldn't, or I didn't do it even though I thought I should. And then we, we put another layer of thinking on top. And we are okay no matter what.

15:09Shailia StephensYeah.

15:10Lea WernliAnd to, to lean into that is so freeing and so cool because it, it liberates you from doing it right.

15:31Shailia StephensYeah.

15:35Lea WernliAnd from there, the game of life is, is more fun, even with all the feelings. And just, just to play with Oh, I feel low. Okay, what else? Um, frees time and space and energy to bring the things into the world that we like to or want to or feel drawn to or whatever. And what our brain does is it always Um, reverse engineering. Oh, that worked when I did that, and then, oh, so that's how I should do it. That didn't work when I did that. Oh, that's not how I should do it. And it's never true. It's just one moment in time when it was like that.

16:49Shailia StephensHmm.

16:52Lea WernliAnd from this sense of all-oneness in consciousness, but also for real, I mean, we are made from the same smallest protons, all of us and everything. And like Oh, everything in the whole world is made from the same stuff that I am, so I am everything already. It is very cool. And to not fight that opens up a bigger room of experience. And I don't know if that's truth with capital T, but I really believe that we are here to experience. And we are made for being in the moment, and we are made for whatever occurs to us in the moment, and we are able to deal with what is in the moment.

18:15And we are the wisdom and mind and, and the principle of thought and the principle of consciousness, always in the moment. And with that knowing, creation is just really cool.

18:34Shailia StephensMm-hmm.

18:35Lea WernliAnd with that knowing, there is a game to play if you want to. You don't have to. You don't have to do any bloody thing. Nothing. at all, nothing, and you already ate all of it. But if you want to, there is a creation game to play on the Earth, and through the creation game, there is a lot of fun things to experience. And probably that's why we are so drawn to create. So that was the more philosophical point of view.

19:19Shailia StephensThat is so funny, Leah. It's always that way, right? Leah is always philosophical and I'm mostly in the practical.

19:26Lea WernliBut Cecilia knows that I'm very practical. That's so funny that totally I don't seem like practical, but yeah.

19:36Shailia StephensYeah. Yeah, so I don't know, I don't know what I got out of that just now. I'm just still like bathing in it, but I'm always brought back to this point, which is, you know, the more we understand how we work and our experience works, Mm-hmm. and the more we come just back home, the more we can just feel the moment now. And if there is something to do or not to do. And, and that's it, you know, just, just getting more and more in that space. Yeah. I don't know any other way to put it today.

20:17Lea WernliYeah. And I heard someone, she's called Rosa Koppelman. She's German. And she's more also in the non-duality and all-oneness teaching. And I really heard things for myself as well when she was talking. And she said something I really liked around the consciousness. And like, we always already are all of the consciousness that we have right now. And we, when we, when we let ourselves off the hook with what we've, what we see right now. It expands, it changes, it, it, it, it, we see more because we let, let ourselves bath in it, as you put it.

21:16Just be bathed in it. Before, and going through and not waiting till there is more or different. but always really going with what is somehow. Yeah, I, I like that. And as well, every form of tool and help that we have is also already in us. So if you, if you just listen to your inner voice, that's perfect. It's in you. If you pull cards, That's very cool because you see and hear what the cards are through you. It's always through our consciousness, always. So it's fine to, to play with whatever we want to play when we are drawn to it.

22:16Shailia StephensYeah, 100%. 100%. I had a long conversation with Michelle over dinner about that. Yeah. From astrology to whatever, numerology, we always are only seeing that through our own consciousness, resonating that with that, with our own consciousness. Absolutely. Yeah, 100%. Yeah. So cool.

22:40Lea WernliYeah.

22:41Shailia StephensWell, we've gotten on to a totally different area to the end. I don't even know how we got there. But, um, guys, thanks for listening today. It was super fun for us. We hope you had, um, an enjoyable time just taking a few moments out of your day, taking some time for you. And we'll see you on the next episode. Don't forget to follow us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Tell a friend, a family member about the podcast so they can take part in these cool conversations. And we'll talk to you soon.

23:09Lea WernliBye. Bye.