09 – Purple Hair, Swiss Surprises, and Parisian Adventures

0:04Lea WernliHello and welcome. It's time for You Again with Shelia Stevens, my friend.

0:12Shailia StephensHello.

0:13Lea WernliAnd myself, Lea Wernke. And what we are doing is real talk about things that we saw, or just our lives, or at the moment my hair is kind of violet and gray because I wanted to have them as blonde as possible, but it's gonna be a journey. That's a thing, for example. And yeah, about that, I, I want— I told Shelly already, I just tell you guys, I was afraid to go back to the hairdresser. Isn't that interesting?

0:50Shailia StephensMm-hmm.

0:51Lea WernliAnd it was yellowish and I didn't like it, and I I told her, yeah, I try. And she said, you know, to become that clear, that blonde, we have to do it again. And she was a bit like strong-minded and she really knew, or she seemed like that she knew what she's doing. And I had to go back and I was a bit afraid. I was like, oh, I have to tell her that I'm not okay and I don't like that. I'm quite the, uh, not harsh, but quite clear coach and teacher, and I'm able to, to tell the truth. But with hairdresser or waiter, or I'm somehow a people pleaser.

1:46Shailia StephensReally?

1:47Lea WernliYes.

1:47Shailia StephensAre you serious? I am.

1:50Lea WernliYes.

1:50Shailia StephensOkay.

1:51Lea WernliYeah. Isn't that interesting?

1:52Shailia StephensYeah. This is surprising to me because I do I didn't know that about you.

1:57Lea WernliYeah, I am. And I really have to, to, to take courage to go back and say I'm not okay with it. And I did it and it was totally fine. But now it's violet slash grayish and I, I kind of like it even. And it's going to be different.

2:17Shailia StephensIs it okay? Is it okay if I translate for you? Yes. So violet is a purplish color. And it's so like a grayish, purplish grayish. That's what you probably want to say.

2:28Lea WernliYeah. Thank you.

2:30Shailia StephensYou're welcome.

2:30Lea WernliYes. So just to let you know, yeah, it's sometimes needed that you do it and that you go back and say that you're not okay with whatever you want.

2:47Shailia StephensBefore you start with your Paris story, because I know you're going to do that, but do you remember when we were on the— at the Bodensee in Konstanz or near there? So do you remember the lady who gave you Swiss prices and we had to go back. Yes. So, okay, guys. So we thought like—

3:01Lea WernliCelia had to do it for me.

3:03Shailia StephensYeah. So this is— we said on Real Talk we were just going to talk from our real lives. So I was renting a house for a while on Lake Constance, sort of on— it's like a triangle between Germany, Austria, and Switzerland. And so it has on 3 sides of the lakes, it's in a different country. And the side we were on was the German side. And Leah was coming over from the Swiss side, and, um, we were at this lovely little store right around like COVID. They had just, I think, opened back up again for a little, little bit. You had to go in, distance, mask, and all that kind of stuff.

3:38Lea WernliOh, we had such a great time though.

3:41Shailia StephensOh, that was so fun. We did canoeing and all kinds of stuff in the middle of winter. Um, yeah, so we walk into this lovely little store, and what did you buy? Was it like a vinegar or some sort of some sort of flavored vinegar. It was like one of those fancy bottles or whatever. And so the Germans sometimes charge the Swiss, Swiss prices because they have more money. And so I look on the bottle and it says like €6.90, and they have charged Lea €15.

4:14Lea WernliAnd we walk out.

4:16Shailia StephensDo you remember that?

4:18Lea WernliYes.

4:18Shailia StephensAnd we walk out and I see the receipt and I was furious, but we didn't, we didn't, uh, recognize it till we got home.

4:25Lea WernliYes.

4:26Shailia StephensAnd Lea was like, no, it's okay, it's okay. And I'm like, no, we're going back. No, I remember the next day we went back and I complained and got the money back.

4:37Lea WernliBut yeah, that was very cool. Yeah, I, I, it— I, I have a people pleaser side, and, and actually There is something to see and to learn from me, and it's a path. It is. I say easily yes if somebody is in need, or a damsel, or a man in distress, or a kid, or— because I have— I'm doing so good, and I, I, I have a lovely family, and I'm really probably I'm just so, so happy and grateful that I don't have a secret life anymore that I'm kind of— for a long time I didn't care about what I want.

5:31Shailia StephensMhm.

5:32Lea WernliThat's really interesting because it was so rich and beautiful and I got my life back, that they were not a lot of wants.

5:47Shailia StephensYeah.

5:48Lea WernliSomehow. And in the last couple of weeks and months, it was actually during Isla's— Isla Coates. I'm in Isla Coates' group.

6:05Shailia StephensI—

6:06Lea Wernlithere was a, there was a space for me to just becoming curious about the creation part of life again. I, I was totally into having hands on my back. We, we say that it's kind of following the notches and mind and the liveness through me and just Doing whatever shows up. And, and I was totally into that. It was so adventurous and I was so curious. And I know that's a huge part and path in this Reprinciple community for a lot of people, kind of a goal to, to be there.

7:01Shailia StephensMm-hmm.

7:03Lea WernliAnd for me, something is shifting in, in the sense of, oh, I also can want things again and, and, and be needy or not being okay with my hair or Being very human again as well. I was, I was, I'm human and I'm messy and I'm a mom and a wife and a friend and a teacher and I do, I've got a normal human life, but I was also often on my bench as well.

7:52Shailia StephensA bench?

7:54Lea WernliPart of me, like being in this space of being more than human as well, like not— That just was the path or the way. It was not that I did choose that somehow. It was just how it was. And I, I said that I did stand up from my bench. The bench is kind of the metaphor for the insights I had and for really coming back to life and, and seeing the oneness in all things and really deeply being touched by it and Knowing that we think and feel, and that's not a fact, and that, that's an internal game.

8:57And all this stuff was so rich and, and so cool that some part of the, the being human, like this also creation through us, that we are already God within because we are here. Like it's through the humans, the creations, that God is in the world somehow.

9:31Shailia StephensMm-hmm.

9:31Lea WernliIt, it comes, it, it, it sinks deeper, like in a, in a, it's more embodied and real and not that spiritual. Um, And, and I'm, I'm beginning to, to be really curious about, oh, I want that, and let's try and maybe fail. And, ooh, is it okay to fail as just Leah and not to fail as, oh, my true me? And I may do it or not do it.

10:11Shailia StephensHmm.

10:13Lea WernliIsn't that interesting?

10:14Shailia StephensMm-hmm.

10:16Lea WernliAnd I'm, I'm in for it. And it's kind of discovering parts of me again in a new way. They were there before and they kind of dissolved in, in, in the huge insight I had and coming back alive in a new way. And that's really interesting at the moment.

10:51Shailia StephensWith your violet grayish self.

10:54Lea WernliThat's, yes, to see I don't want to have the yellow hair, so I'm going back. And yeah, and not like, yeah, it's okay. And I was. Okay with the yellow hair. And now I feel, no, Lea wants to have different hair. So what is she going to do? She's going back to the bit— bitchy— not bitchy, the very strict hairdresser and just telling the hairdresser what she wants.

11:30Shailia StephensYeah.

11:31Lea WernliAs a very small example of it.

11:35Shailia StephensSo we started out saying we wanted to talk about Paris, so I want you to tell me about that because you made me so curious. Does it still fit in with this topic? Can we still go there?

11:47Lea WernliYes.

11:48Shailia StephensOkay, come on, let's talk about it.

11:50Lea WernliI, I don't know, actually, probably that was the, the foreword. What's the foreword?

12:02Shailia StephensThe preface.

12:02Lea WernliThe preface for what, what I wanted to talk about, because I saw 2 pieces, 2 plays in Paris, and very controversial ones. I'm not even telling you guys the titles because it doesn't matter. Um, the interesting thing was the one, the first one on Friday was in a very huge public theater. And so for kind of a culturally interested folk, but mainstream as well, like in a huge place. And it's a play that is sold out all over the world. And I can tell you, it's called Florentina Holtziger.

12:58Shailia StephensIt's an Austrian choreographer. Austrian?

13:06Lea WernliAustrian, yeah.

13:07Shailia StephensAustrian choreographer. What is it called? Sorry, what is it called again?

13:10Lea WernliFlorentina Holziger.

13:13Shailia StephensFlorentina Holziger, okay.

13:15Lea WernliYes. And it's controversial and really a lot of nudity and a lot of, like, sensible themes, and it really goes even— it stretches the viewer's boundaries in a lot of ways.

13:46Shailia StephensOkay.

13:46Lea WernliAnd it was probably 30 people left the audience. on this day. And, but what I saw is they were— it was mastery on the stage. It was embodied and deep knowing of what they're doing. Like, one of the actresses is a real ballet dancer star. But now 83 years old and playing the ballet teacher in a strange but very realistic way. So it's embodied, like, everything that she does. And kind of all of it, it has— it had had a— component that was really strange and weird. And all of this body, um, to, to, to, to, um, there are performance performers who do hurt themselves to— on stage, stuff like this.

15:04Shailia StephensOkay.

15:05Lea WernliBut also these guys were, were deeply professional in a way. So you, even when it was disturbing, it was, it came from—

15:22Shailia StephensA grounded space.

15:25Lea WernliGrounded, embodied, human, and inspired space. So it was touching and weird and, and made me feel things and grow. Like, it was a transformative space.

15:44Shailia StephensOh, wow.

15:45Lea WernliOkay. In a way. And the other play, a day later, was kind of the same themes, and we didn't know that. We stumbled across it. So it was again nudity and as well this body performance stuff and as well, um, kind of expansion of boundaries or ideas about human and gender and all this kind of things.

16:21Shailia StephensSo a second, a second event with a similar kind of characteristics?

16:26Lea WernliYes.

16:26Shailia StephensOkay.

16:27Lea WernliAnd the difference for me— and, and the audience loved it, they were into it, and it was for them, and it was kind of a underground setting. But it didn't touch me at all. And somehow the difference I was reflecting, and maybe it's not true, it was just a reflection, it came from a storm place, from a more agitated or more of a finding solution for feelings that you don't want to have place. So it, it, I had the impression it touched, storm touched storm. And often in the world I see that, that people are attracted to the storm or the, the ideas, the concepts, the hate, the, of another one.

17:36Shailia StephensYeah.

17:37Lea WernliYou know what I mean?

17:38Shailia StephensYeah. Well, yeah.

17:40Lea WernliIt was kind of the same. And the first one out of, of, hey, there is something new to see about yourself. And love in the, in the, in a way, and the other of, it felt like insecurity, masked insecurity.

18:14Shailia StephensMm-hmm.

18:15Lea WernliAnd that was really, really special to, to see. And, and it's both end and everything is okay and everything in between, but just to see how different it was for me and also for my husband. It was not just for me, how and where we were touched or questioned or expanse— expanse?

18:51Shailia StephensExpanded.

18:52Lea WernliExpanded. And not. Yeah.

18:58Shailia StephensAnd that's so interesting, Lea. First of all, you're making me want to go to Paris. Lea goes there. How often do you guys go every year? You and—

19:08Lea WernliOnce or twice.

19:09Shailia StephensYeah, once or twice. It's like their romantic place. Lea went to school in France for— did you go for like a full year?

19:19Lea WernliYes. Like first grade. Yeah.

19:23Shailia StephensAnd she has an artist aunt who lives there, and she loves to speak French. So I know how you guys love to go on those trips. And I don't— I mean, I think it's always difficult to— like you said, it's never truth with a capital T. Like, who knows what somebody else was feeling in the same room?

19:42Lea WernliI know.

19:43Shailia StephensMaybe they felt it was touched and grounded because they were feeling grounded at the moment. So, but that doesn't that doesn't even matter. It's, for me, what I hear in that conversation, and I have had some conversations with Sandra Heim about this recently, because this year, you know, I've been getting really interested in this idea of what happens when things are created from a grounded, alive place, and what happens when things get born of our headspace, right? In German, we have a very clear word, the Kopfgeburt, right?

20:17Lea WernliMm-hmm.

20:18Shailia Stephensthe head birth. We don't have that word in English. But maybe the brainchild, or, you know, and it's all— if you look in the world at large, you know, you're gonna see creations born from those 2 places, right?

20:35Lea WernliMm-hmm.

20:36Shailia StephensFrom deep within a grounded, alive space in someone, or things that people are just thinking up to do from whatever thought pattern that they're having, whether it's to feel more secure or to counteract a thing they think is hateful and they have to bring a message to it, or they have to save someone or save themselves, right? And what I'm just getting curious in for myself is like, what does that feel like? Can, can we feel it in the world?

21:11Lea WernliHmm.

21:12Shailia StephensI was watching a movie recently where I had a similar experience to you. It was Killers of the Flower Moon with Leonardo DiCaprio and Lily— I can't think of her last name. She's a Native American actress. I can't think of her last name. But it's the story of the Osage people and how they struck oil and how they were completely suppressed in their ability to be in charge of their own wealth and how they were murdered for their wealth. And it's still happening today in Arizona in a different way. It's crazy. But, and this movie was to me one of those things where I just, in my mind, I felt it came from a grounded, alive place.

22:02Lea WernliYeah.

22:02Shailia StephensIt was just every single thing about it was energetically Like, sat— I don't know the word in English— full and juicy in a way. And other things that I watch that just feel flat and off in a way.

22:26Lea WernliMm-hmm.

22:27Shailia StephensSo I think there is something to that. And like our conversations that we have the whole time, like, it's all good.

22:36Lea WernliRight? Yes.

22:38Shailia StephensIt all exists. It's all of the same energy. But it does seem to have its own feeling.

22:44Lea WernliIt does. And, and, ah, yes. And like chips and avocado bread or dark bread with avocado. Yeah. It has its place. And Sometimes a head first leads to something deeper or vice versa, or we can play with all of it. And I think for me is just to be aware from where it comes does make a difference to my life and it's not needed, of course not.

23:35Shailia StephensYeah.

23:36Lea WernliAnd as well, to be okay with the beginner's mind and to be a beginner and to be able to not do it that well or good, but to know if I'm coming from this space within, that's also easier to not beat yourself up when it's just a try or a not so good or a, a maybe. And that's okay too.

24:16Shailia StephensYeah. Yeah.

24:20Lea WernliAnd there is something in mastery and embodiment and We are drawn to it somehow.

24:31Shailia StephensMm-hmm.

24:32Lea WernliThere is, it's probably, it could be a space that opens up transformation or insight, or it's a, maybe it's an insight or transformation-friendly space. And somehow we are drawn to that.

24:54Shailia StephensYeah.

24:54Lea WernliLike really incredible art or music or plays or film. And it doesn't matter how— what's your taste or what you like better, or if something is strange to you. When it's artful or from that space, then maybe It's, it's a catalyst in a way to, to learn something about us or ourselves.

25:28Shailia StephensI 100% believe that to be true. That's, that was also a discussion I was having with Sandra. It's like one of the characteristics is not just the feeling that we get when it comes from here. You can't see on the podcast, but I'm, I'm pointing to my heart space and it coming bubbling up from there. Like we can feel that difference energetically. Um, but it definitely creates a sort of like, I love that what you said, this transformational friendly space, like we were saying, kind of, it, it makes an impact in a way that something that's born of our thinking, thinking something up doesn't have.

26:07It's a different quality of impactfulness that is on offer through something that's created from that aliveness.

26:14Lea WernliMm-hmm.

26:15Shailia Stephenswithin us, which is what makes it so interesting for me as well.

26:19Lea WernliTotally.

26:20Shailia StephensYeah.

26:21Lea WernliAnd still, you have to be willing to be bad. I'm, I'm an, a coaching nerd and a healing or, or insight or transformation making, making it possible for other people nerd. So I think Shelia knows that like every day, all day. about how to even help better, or I don't know how to put it, but—

26:54Shailia StephensBe more impactful.

26:55Lea WernliBe more impactful. And, and I learn and I study and I, I, I can't help. It's just, it draws me there. That's somehow my art in a way.

27:09Shailia StephensYeah.

27:10Lea WernliAnd, and I know I also have to be beginner and, and bad and, and awkward and cringe and strange too on the path to, to, to become masterful at it. And but from there, it's really— it is easier from the when I'm coming from this intention of being of service, of, of becoming masterful for the, the cause, I, I, I'm more okay with the insecurities and the exercising and the falling flat on my belly thing of the path and enjoying the path. As well. Yeah, yeah.

28:12Shailia StephensAh, Leah, we have covered a whole range of topics today. This real talk is getting interesting for sure. Um, yeah, do you want to close us out for today?

28:25Lea WernliSo we started with, uh, like purple rain, purple hair, and courage, and creation, and hate creation, And heart creation and being willing to fail to become masterful. And, and it sounds like a lot, but actually it's just life and, and, and being willing to be touched by life so that we can really step into our Hero journey and, and, and just take the next step wherever it leads us. And we hope that, that it inspires you to, to maybe, um, go through life and, and just Experiment and be touched by our hope that we see for you because we see it for ourselves as well.

29:44Yeah. So thank you for having tea with us or doing laundry or thinking, what the heck are these two talking about? And, um, it's a joy and an honor to do that with you and for you.

29:59Shailia StephensVery cool. So don't forget to subscribe to the podcast and tell a friend.

30:06Lea WernliShe wanted me to say that, and I totally forget that.

30:11Shailia StephensThat's okay. That's why there are 2 of us, not just one. And tell a friend who you think might be interested. Um, and the 3 principles and 2 crazy chicks living in Switzerland and Germany. And we'll see you soon on the next podcast. See you then.

30:27Lea WernliBye.