58 – Inner Peace AND Taking Action: How to Create a Life You Love

0:02Lea WernliHello and welcome back to Time for You. I'm Lea Wendtli and I'm with my co-host and friend, Shelia Stevens.

0:12Shailia StephensHi everyone. I like to be called a co-host, by the way.

0:17Lea WernliDo you say that? Host and co-host?

0:23Shailia StephensYou do.

0:23Lea WernliYeah, co-hostess.

0:25Shailia StephensYeah, it sounded so professional. I don't think I've ever heard you call me your co-host. I liked it, Lea.

0:30Lea WernliYeah, yeah, cool. We are, um, very, very professional. No, actually we are not. I'm not. Shelia is really professional. She, she became less professional because of me, so it's not her fault, it's totally mine. So yeah, but that's, um, who we are and how we do things at the moment, and it maybe it changes again. And actually, yeah, there is something, and I really would like to, to know what, what you hear in it and what you think about it. And what is it?

1:10It's, um, really seeing or feeling or having a glimpse, um, like around this understanding in the sense of, hey, we are not just our thinking, we are mind through us and creativity and love. And we feel like the principle of thought moment by moment. What I see and what I experienced myself is there is over time, sometimes Very quickly. Sometimes it takes longer. It's less suffering, like less internal suffering, and for most of the people. And that's amazing.

2:03That's just wonderful because it, it makes life and this human experience a lot easier. What I also see is that sometimes the disknowing and misunderstanding doesn't change circumstances in people's life. So they suffer less, but actually they still don't have clients as coaches.

2:33Shailia StephensMm.

2:33Lea WernliOr they, um, still are in a not that great relationship, or, um, they still have, um, are overweight or have issues, um, uh, illnesses or things going on. So, um, and, and there is something interesting in that to me. Because one part of this understanding, or maybe not the understanding in the purest form, but how it's like, Mm-hmm. Teached or how it's spread or how people interpret it, is there is something to see and nothing to do. And in my mind, um, in being human and being alive and having this human experience, there is a lot to see and feel and experience. Totally true. I'm a seeker. I'm still a seeker somehow.

3:48Shailia StephensYeah.

3:49Lea WernliI'm, I'm, I love teachings. I love wisdom. I love learning. And if you want to build, do, or change something in reality, in 3D, in form, there are things to do, and often quite hard things to do. And, um, with this understanding, for me, the hard things are easier to do. Because I'm not that caught up in my thinking of, oh, I want to, oh no, I don't want to, I'm motivated, oh no, now I'm not motivated. It's more like, oh, I want to, I feel like it's important from here, like from inner wisdom, to stay healthy and, and like When, as I grew older, to maintain my health.

4:53So there is something to learn and to do, like doing sport every day or a couple of days a week, no matter if I feel like it. Or I really want to live from, or sometimes fully from my coaching business, sometimes part-time. I'm really kind of crazy. I do whatever the heck I want. But still, I, I, I make money. I, I support my family. I'm one of like a breadwinner. Like, it's really my, my money is, is needed in my family. So I need to figure out how to and do things and do things that are not just comfortable and probably also things I'm not only good at, and it doesn't feel that good.

5:51So, and there I see sometimes spiritual people, not only in the 3D world but, but broader, like feeling better. And that's so cool. And feeling better and wanting to feel good and inspired. And, and it's true. It is the navigation. But to build or do or change or having like things in the material realm as human being, there is work and planning and somehow sometimes not feeling that good while doing it. And I see a gap sometimes, and I totally understand it.

6:52And even as a coach, it's not always easy to speak about that somehow, that it's true. There is nothing to do. It's something to see that that leads you to do somehow, to do more. But you have to see like the whole picture. And of course, I mean, when you deeply, deeply see and you really kind of wake up and it's an understanding that is really democratic in a way. It's an understanding that provides awakening for everyone, everyone, everyone. And you can be a monk or a fakir or a yogi and just do that, or just living on the bench or in the mountains, of course.

7:49But most of us are still in life, in families, in jobs, in— and it seems sometimes as if the feeling better inside could lead to not really doing what needs to be done and to clean up your mess and to really start to look at the numbers or the bank account or the EFTA that you did. And that's there. I'm, I don't know. I'm, as you know, I'm learning something really, really interesting and it's for that part. It's for that part. And I'm blown away. And I don't have the words at the moment. I'm still learning like every day. But there is something. So what do you hear? What do you see? What is your experience with like somehow with that gap in a way?

8:53Shailia StephensYeah. So gosh, I hear a lot in there. So I'm going to put this in a sort of Schublade. I'm going to— I know I'm the one speaking German now. Into like categories or boxes.

9:15Lea WernliShe wanted to say boxes.

9:17Shailia StephensYeah, I'm going to put it into boxes because there— it's the way I think about it and it's what I just started to see over time. Which is, you know, there's this one piece of the understanding, and oftentimes it comes from the piece called the psychological understanding of the 3 principles, which is when we begin to understand that we're living in the feeling of our thinking from moment to moment, that the thinking that we're putting our attention on and believing in and acting from is creating our current reality.

10:07That's something one usually, not always, but it's usually the place where most people start into the understanding. And the minute they grasp the principle of thought as a spiritual gift that we can use for ourselves or against ourselves, and they start to use it more for themselves by just letting it pass through and choosing better thoughts and better feelings as their free will allows them, as their current level of consciousness allows them, they begin to feel more inner peace.

10:42They begin to feel less, less need for things to happen in the outside for them to feel okay on the inside, which is a really, really positive development. And so for me, the— if there were steps, if there were steps in the understanding, I would say the step, the first, the first step that most people take is to the step of more inner peace.

11:07Lea WernliYes.

11:09Shailia StephensAnd for the majority of people, not everyone, but for a large number of people who are living in a Western world where we're being pushed on a daily basis to be better, optimize ourselves, make more money, be prettier, be thinner, um, you know, be a better partner, be a better parent. Like, there's no end to how we are conditioned and told every day through marketing, um, and other ideas, even in the world of personal development, that where we are is subpar to where we should be and that we need to work on ourselves.

11:50And so The fact that people fall into a space of less doing and more being when they come to inner peace is, for a first step, actually a relief for the majority of people because they've just been—

12:07Lea WernliCulturally.

12:08Shailia StephensOn the track, you know, on the speedboat for so long, and it feels so good to just relax and slow down and be ordinary and not have to be someone special, someone overachieving, someone who's hitting goals or, you know, whatever the thing is, optimizing everything in their life. And it's an enormous feeling of relief for people when they get to that space. So that's box number 1 or step number 1. So It is true. You could stay in that state all your life if you wanted to. You don't have to create anything. You can stay— I'm going to just be provocative— as fat as you are, as ugly as you are, as poor as you are. Like, you don't, you don't have to change anything.

13:01Lea WernliAnd happy with that.

13:03Shailia StephensYeah, and happy with that. You could, you could quite literally, um, just be in gratitude for the air you breathe, the fact that you woke up in the morning.

13:13Lea WernliYeah.

13:14Shailia Stephensnever needing to do anything, right? And I've had definite moments in the last, gosh, 12 years where that knowing was very peaceful for me to feel that I could just be there.

13:28Lea WernliYeah.

13:30Shailia StephensSo then there's the other piece to the understanding. And a lot of people use the words, you know, the spiritual nature of the 3 principles. When I think of the spiritual nature of the 3 principles, I think of an all-expanding universe or an ever-expanding universe. I think of a creative energy behind all life that is life, that is constantly expressing and creating and doing. I mean, it— I'm just going to use the word doing, you know. It is squirrels gathering nuts.

14:12It is, you know, a solopreneur having an idea for something they want to talk about in the world, a speech, a program. It is somebody creating KI and doing all the programming, you know, where there is the essential creative essence to the universe. And that is a space that is beautiful and wonderful to touch and feel and experience. And it is also— you can't hold it back. It's going to expand with or without you.

14:57Lea WernliYeah.

14:57Shailia StephensYou can be a part of it or you cannot be a part of it, right? And in my way of thinking, and this is just what I've seen, it doesn't mean it's the truth with a capital T. But what I've seen about this is that that creative energy is planting desires within us.

15:19Lea WernliYeah.

15:20Shailia StephensAs human beings for movement, for momentum, for creative expression. And in a, in a state of inner peace or not inner peace, it doesn't really matter. I mean, I, I felt sparks of creation, movement, momentum in my life before the 3 Principles. I was creating and moving and doing—

15:46Lea WernliOf course.

15:46Shailia StephensAnd doing things, you know. You don't need inner peace to be in collaboration with the all-oneness, the all-is-ness, right? It just is. You're moving. But once you have gotten to an understanding of the psychological peace and you've gotten more inner peace, from my feeling, it's fun to wake up to being a creator. And this is something that it's taken me a long time to get my head around, even though I was creating the whole time. Um, there's beauty in the creative collaboration with the spirit.

16:22Lea WernliTotal.

16:25Shailia StephensRight? And going within yourself to really, really— now I'm gonna say something, maybe this— to figure out what is the actual true creative expression that's coming through you. The truth. The truth.

16:41Lea WernliMm-hmm.

16:42Shailia StephensAnd if, and if you know it, then collaborating with the spirit to move toward that is really rewarding, even if it can be damn hard. Like you said, it doesn't, have to be easy. It doesn't have to feel good and so forth. But I think sometimes where the gap is that you're looking for— but it may not be the gap you're looking for, it's just what I heard when you were talking, Leah—

17:07Lea Wernliis Mm-hmm.

17:10Shailia StephensWe, when we don't, we don't have our intention clear, or we're working on a false intention, we're going to be making a movement forward and a movement backward, a movement forward and a movement backward. So let me tell you what I mean by that. A couple of weeks, months ago, I don't know, we were on a call with Isla, and she likes to do this, like, you know, what is it that you really want right now? And if you had asked me, what do you want? What is your intention?

17:43What are you creating right now? And this is a business mastermind, so it was about the business. I would have given you a certain number of monthly income. I would have given you a certain amount of clients and what kind of clients, like I would have spoken to you from that intellectual defining space, right? But when we went deeper and deeper and I got to the bottom, I realized, no, actually right now, my deepest intention, the expression that's coming through me is to be healthy. That's what I want.

18:15Lea WernliMm-hmm.

18:16Shailia StephensThat's what I want. And so, that was the truth. That was the truth. The other stuff was untrue. It was fake news, right? But as I was trying to create around the fake news, I was trying to collaborate with Spirit on creating fake news. That doesn't work. It feels messy, yucky. I go forwards, I go backwards. Like all this stuff.

18:42Lea WernliMm-hmm.

18:42Shailia StephensThe second that I aligned with the truth that's expressing through me, then things start to happen. The collaboration starts to go and things in my business shift and the clients do come in and the money does come in. But it's not from the intention of making this amount of money and that amount of clients. It's from that place that said to me, And everyone's going to get their own answer. What their true intention is in any given moment is to be a healthy human spirit, right? And working from that together with spirit. So those are the 3 boxes for— the 2 boxes for me, and where I think that the, the gap is when you ask me.

19:32Lea WernliI love that. And What just came to mind is that we are sometimes a bit far away from the knowing, like as you described it, like, and it seems big, or it can come across big, like health or whatever the theme might be. And what I realized What I often do is I reverse engineer what I actually do intuitively because I do a lot of things. I really had like this big rock over my head that changed everything. So often I really can't say why or what I'm doing.

20:26Probably over the last couple of years, I was always like tuning into that. What am I actually doing to explain it to somebody else or to make it available? I also just could be in life. That would be amazing too. But somehow there is a part of me that wants to share that or being able to teach from there. And I loved your boxes like this. Oh, first thing and really less suffering. And second thing, uh, creating from really this inner knowing. And then it's really cool with all the ups and downs and side quests and, and crazy things that are happening when we, when we follow that path.

21:15And it was— it's so interesting when I, when I learned things like Human Design or, or spiritual teaching, wisdom, ancient magical teachings, whatever it is, I see, oh, I already do that, or, oh, that's already how essence, God, universe is moving me, because as I already said 2 podcasts ago, I'm really good at getting out of the way somehow.

21:49Shailia StephensYeah.

21:49Lea WernliI was in the way, guys. I was really in the way. So it's possible for you too if it's like possible for me. And it can be in really, really, really small steps or bigger ones. It doesn't matter. But what I see is like this, like 2 components that you just pointed out. We all also can be with them in really small ways, like in everyday ways. And This teacher I, I'm learning with, or like is explaining what I already do in, in like words, has like 3 questions she asks like every day. And the questions are like, what do you want? What do you want?

22:40Shailia StephensReally, really right now?

22:43Lea WernliReally, really not what you must or, or should. What do you want? And it can be like this cappuccino or this, this, this brioche or this really nice oatmeal that you do, or the swim or lunchtime or, or the red lipstick like this. Mm. Desire.

23:04Shailia StephensYeah.

23:05Lea WernliDesire is a vital, alive human part. Desire leads, is, is the navigation of creation. Like this, hmm, yeah.

23:19Shailia StephensYes.

23:19Lea WernliUm, so what do you want is the first, and the second is, if you only could do one thing today, what would it be? That's like the second, like more the mind, like the, hmm, yeah, I want to do that. Okay. So I really want to, to write email. I'll do it. I really, hmm, if I only could do one thing, what would it be today?

23:51Shailia StephensToday.

23:51Lea WernliSo that's more of the active. Like, the first one is like the passive time, like this, hmm, like this, where am I led to? And the second one is more like this active, like, doing, like, yeah, writing the mail, like doing the sport, like, like leaving the man, like dating, like saying yes to whatever it is. Like, what would it be? Or writing the, the 2 pages. And the 3rd one is a really nice one too. It's the, if the universe could support you or amaze you or, or help you, or today, how would that be? So, and there as well is this, oh, I would love to have clarity here, or help, or a surprise, or a gift, or—

24:52Shailia StephensYes.

24:53Lea WernliAnd, and in these 3 questions are these different boxes of how we can navigate life. But like, make— like, I, I've done that. Like, I do that like every day.

25:12Shailia StephensYes.

25:12Lea WernliKind of in an active phase, in a passive, and in a neutral. Like, inspirational is the third one. This universe, like, um, like a gift or a person or a clarity. Oh, I like that. So being to give it over in a way as well, surrender to it.

25:31Shailia StephensYeah.

25:32Lea WernliAnd in these 3 parts, we can do it like in small ways, in small ways and in the present way and in a fun and playful way. We don't have to. If we are really present, it is already a part of our day, but we are not that present often.

25:53Shailia StephensNo.

25:53Lea WernliBecause we're conditioned, we fall out of it, we forget it. And if we write it down, if we see it on paper, if we speak it out, then it's, oh, we're fun creatures. Then we have it like in our consciousness, like, oh yeah, and look, oh, it's happening. And ah, I did it. And it's some, it's a really small, easy thing to move and be in life and and see the magic of life and be more present. So I really like that.

26:29Shailia StephensI really like that. I've never heard someone put it into such simple words. I don't know who you're learning from, but it's so good. And I think if you were to ask me, where do things get messy? It's like, it's when those 3 things are not working together. So I've had plenty of times in my life before the 3 principles where I was only in the action-taking mode.

26:57Lea WernliYeah, I know.

26:59Shailia StephensYou know, doing, doing, doing, doing, doing, doing without even clarifying before what my actual true inner wisdom was telling me. I was just picking a goal from my intellect and just going, uh, ham in the direction of, of the doing. I, I also had times where I you know, would have an intention but then not take action. Sydney Banks always said you have to take action on your insights. An insight in and of itself without taking the action on your insight is useless. Yes. So I know sometimes—

27:43Lea WernliYeah. Did you hear that, guys? Yeah.

27:47Shailia StephensSydney Banks always said it. You have to take action on your insights. And Sometimes, you know, I would be taking actions on my insights, but I wouldn't be considering the help that I could get from Spirit, like in whatever way. I wasn't asking for help or support or clarity for the next step, you know. I wasn't collaborating with Spirit. So it would feel wisdom-driven and action-taking, but it would feel hard, like harder than it needed to be. Like, so it's when, it's when we invite spirit in, that third question, is, is when the collaboration becomes more flowing and, and more potent.

28:26And so when I heard you speak, and I, and I would say, you know, all 3 pieces are so, uh, essential to, to the, the joyful, potent creation in life.

28:41Lea WernliYeah.

28:42Shailia StephensNo matter where you live and no matter what your circumstance, Yeah, for me too.

28:47Lea WernliAnd it's like a very clear and nice and easy direction to really, to be beyond your conditioned thinking somehow as well. So yeah, I'll do it. Like now I already did it. I saw it. Like I always look at what I do or how I'm led, but I also really love to really consciously doing it at the moment. And it's so interesting. It's really like the awareness of being aware. Like, there is a richness in it. And it's not vital. It doesn't have— I'm a nerd. I'm a consciousness nerd and—

29:41Shailia StephensYeah.

29:41Lea WernliLearning and and wanting to see the bottom of why and how and what is it all about here. But to me, it's really nice to be conscious with these questions and seeing how the days and weeks start to unfold.

30:03Shailia StephensYeah, and I think there's so much value in that. And you must send me those questions, Lea, because I will forget them.

30:09Lea WernliYes, we will write it in the—

30:12Shailia StephensIn the show notes.

30:13Lea WernliThe show notes.

30:15Shailia StephensYeah, I just, um, I think there's so much value to living intentionally, you know. It's, it's like coming just from an intentional place, and that's what I hear when you're talking. And it's something that I ignored for so long, um, but also there was a time when I had to ignore it.

30:33Lea WernliYeah, I know.

30:33Shailia StephensYou know, when even when I came to the 3 principles in the beginning and my sub— my, my personal human suffering was decreasing I still, for the longest time, just wasn't able to make that shift to that intentional questioning or that collaboration with the Spirit in that same way. I just needed to be in the slowed-downness. I just needed to be in the relaxation of that peace. I just needed to stop and be more calm for a while, you know? And so I think everyone is in a different place.

31:07Lea WernliYeah. Totally. And, and it's like when you're ill, you need recovery, then you don't go and enjoy this beautiful Michelin star meal. Hell, go away.

31:19Shailia StephensYeah, you need some chicken soup brought to the bed.

31:22Lea WernliThat's all you need. And the blanket and nothing else, of course. And that's fine. But when you, when you stand up from the bench like I did, like you did, when you're back in life, then There is a lot to, to see and to do and to create and to try and to experience. And it's beautiful. Yeah.

31:44Shailia StephensYeah, definitely. Definitely. We, we'll, we should have another podcast some other day, Leah, about the doing part, because I've seen so much about that in the context of 3P in Africa. And I'd love to share some more about that, but this, that's good for today, man. What a rich conversation. Thank you. Thank you, Leah, for that. It was so good. Do you want to take us out this time? Because I did the last 2. I always enjoy hearing how you do it.

32:10Lea WernliYes. Okay. How I do it, yes. Really, we are so, so grateful that you're here. And as you know, we do it for ourselves, but we do it with you in mind. Like, we are together in this, all of us, always. And learning, seeing, deepening together is Just a joy for me. And being able to have this conversation with Shelia is really, um, I'm in love with that. I love it. It's an open and conscious room, and I hope that you heard something for yourself. And please share, please invite your people, and let us know. We want to know.

32:56Shailia StephensWrite us.

32:59Lea WernliWrite us.

33:00Shailia StephensPlease, we're begging you, write us.

33:03Lea WernliSee you next time.

33:04Shailia StephensBye everybody.

33:06Lea WernliBye.