35 – Juggling It All with Joy: Balancing Three Businesses and Two Teenagers

0:01Shailia StephensSo hello and welcome back to another episode of Time for You, where we are nurturing love and presence and well-being. And today I am here by myself. Not really, I'm with someone else, but Leah is not here. That's what I wanted to say. I'm here, Shelia Stevens, everyone who knows me, and Leah is on a little hiatus from the podcast until next week. And we have, um, a very special guest on board today, Dr. Sarah Joy O'Neill. Hi, Sarah Joy.

0:32Dr. Sara Joy O'NeillHi, Shaleia. Thanks for having me.

0:36Shailia StephensThanks for getting up very early in the morning to be on the podcast today. It's so good to have you. And we're going to be speaking about juggling it all with joy. And it was kind of a fun pun on Sarah Joy's name that that was in the title. I don't know if you recognize that, Sarah Joy, but when I was doing the titles, I was like, I want to Sneak that in there. That's really good. And we're going to be speaking today about moving from a feeling of being in a time deficit.

1:11And I think so many people out there listening are familiar with this feeling of there's so much to do, there's so much I want to get done in the world, and there's just not enough time. that feeling of time being in a lacking space. And we're going to talk about how Sarah Joy moved into a feeling of time abundance, where she's got 3 businesses happening, all in a space of joy and excitement and just creative unfolding, and how she's also mothering 2 teenagers.

1:52And if anybody out there who has children, especially teenagers, know what that And how she's just shifted that feeling via insight. And Sarah Joy, it's so, so good to have you here today. And I thought, if you don't mind, if you could just start off by telling us who you are, where you live. We like to give the listeners also like a little bit of context because they're from all over the world. We have people from all over the world. Just a little bit about where you are in the world.

2:22Dr. Sara Joy O'NeillYeah. So I, as you said, I'm Sarah Joy O'Neill. I am both a— well, both— I'm trying to find a word for 3. Both. I'm a transformative coach. I'm also a chiropractor, and I am a glass jewelry designer. I am in Kitchener, Ontario, which is just west Yeah, west of Toronto. Um, if you look at a map or a picture of the Earth from space, the Great Lakes in the middle of North— well, towards the top of North America, you've got a bunch of them make kind of a half circle.

3:07Shailia StephensYeah.

3:07Dr. Sara Joy O'NeillThere's a couple more here in the half circle of lakes. I'm in the middle.

3:11Shailia StephensOh.

3:12Dr. Sara Joy O'NeillAnd you can pretty reliably just poke a finger at the map and go, there she is.

3:18Shailia StephensAnd what is, what is this area that you live in known for? Is it a big nature area? Is it, is it urban? Like, what is the situation that you're in?

3:31Dr. Sara Joy O'NeillUm, it's kind of a mix of, of a lot. There's a, there's a whole lot of medium-sized towns that are not super far from each other. Um, it's a lot of farmland, so it's, um, sort of originally and still, um, a lot of farming. There's, um, a lot of what we call Old Order Mennonite farms, um, so kind of like Amish, horse and buggy. Um, we also— It makes me laugh when I talk to people from Germany, um, because right now we are having our Oktoberfest, and this area was, um, founded by German settlers Way back in the day, and we have North America's largest Oktoberfest festival.

4:23And it is taken very seriously here. So we get a lot of tourists coming, partly some of them— there's 2 large farmers markets that draw a lot of tourists. And so people will come literally by the busload to see the Old Order Mennonites at the farmers market selling their organic vegetables and whatnot. And, um, and then, yeah, a lot of, a lot of tourism with the, with Oktoberfest that goes on all October.

4:49Shailia StephensWow.

4:50Dr. Sara Joy O'NeillAnd, um, there's also the lakes. So if I drive an hour in any direction, I'll hit a lake. And the whole coastline, it's very long because it kind of, you know, um, goes in and out. There's hundreds and hundreds of beaches. And so in the summer here, it's like, um, go to the beach. And, uh, yeah, so then, yeah, there's lots of towns and there's lots going on here.

5:20Shailia StephensThat sounds, that sounds really cool. I was just thinking, hmm, I need to go visit this place, Sarah Joy. Maybe I need to come visit you. And I always think it's such a hoot when there is an Oktoberfest held outside of Munich because I lived in Munich for 11 years. It was the first place that I moved to from when I was coming from the US to live in Germany. And I caught such a fever for Oktoberfest because that's the original Oktoberfest, and you can't even get around it through the whole weeks of the Oktoberfest there, which are actually the end of September to the very first of October, not in October actually, interestingly enough.

6:00Everyone in the office is wearing the traditional clothing. So the Tracht is what we call it here. And the woman's Tracht is the Dirndl, which is that quite voluptuous dress where all of your girls are pushed up. And I actually ended up getting 3 or 4 different Dirndls to be able to go to the Oktoberfest. And I've been with my sister actually at an Oktoberfest. I think I want to say it was, it was in the North Georgia Mountains that I went with some friends and my sister there.

6:33And it was just a hoot. And I love that these traditions are taken with people as they kind of migrate to new places and that those cultures still exist. That is just amazing to me. So maybe I'll have to come and check it out.

6:50Dr. Sara Joy O'NeillYeah, I find it interesting because I grew up in Ottawa, which is near Quebec, and so just on the streets, in the markets, you'd hear French being spoken. Here in Kitchener, Ontario, you still hear German being spoken, and Yeah.

7:07Shailia StephensWow.

7:08Dr. Sara Joy O'NeillThat's interesting.

7:09Shailia StephensSee, I did not know that. And Sarah Joy and I, just to give some background also how we met, we were on a mastermind together last year on Michael Neal's Effortless Success Mastermind program, right? Sarah Joy, I think that's where we, where we met. So, so cool. So Sarah Joy, maybe just I'd like, if you don't mind, to start where you were before. Like, because I love those makeover stories, you know, like when you see someone without makeup and then they get a makeover and they've got all this hair and all these eyelashes and things like that. I love to start out with where you were at in, in before, the before part of your life when you were feeling like time poor, if you, if you so will.

7:54Dr. Sara Joy O'NeillYeah. Well, you kind of said it. I felt really time poor. And I was, I was just talking with my— I have one assistant, Nancy, and I was talking with her yesterday. And she— I said to her, you know, it's really interesting. I used to feel like nothing was moving forward. And I think also at that time, things weren't really being done. But it was hard to even know because you talked about in the introduction about our feeling of things. And so it's like I was really in that feeling of stuckness and nothing moving forward.

8:43And so I couldn't even really tell you. I don't think my assessment of was I getting things done, I have no idea. And yeah, I said to her yesterday, but yeah, now I feel like everything, there's this momentum and yeah, things are being done. Yeah, all if I started to hear myself, but all I would talk about around time was I have no time, I have no time, I have no time. And I believed it.

9:13Shailia StephensMm-hmm.

9:13Dr. Sara Joy O'NeillAnd so it was true. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

9:21Shailia StephensAnd I, and I think there are a lot of people out there who can relate to that. So, you know, people who are saying also, I'm, I'm stressed, there's a lot to do, I don't have enough time to get stuff done, all the things, and all the things that we say and repeat that keep that also alive for us, right? It's just like our, our little story. Harry always calls it— Harry Derbitsky, who I work with on the Africa projects— he's always calling it that recorder in our head that just keeps repeating automatic statements. And we don't even sometimes reflect on them. They just become the language of our life, right? And that's what I hear you saying.

10:05Dr. Sara Joy O'NeillYeah. Yeah. And you You brought up people feel stressed. And yeah, I felt stressed all the time. And that feeling of stress and that perspective, I guess, I think it lends itself to you then feel constricted. And so then if you're thinking of the way we think about time is interesting, but if you think about it from that constriction, it's also going to be, oh, I don't have enough of it. I have to get more of it. Almost like we're talking about a pile of— like, we talk about time as if it's like an object. Like, I need more pieces of time in my wheelbarrow. Yeah. Well, like, what is it?

10:57Shailia StephensYeah, totally. And when you were in that phase where you were feeling like nothing's moving forward, I don't have enough time, That— what did that cause you then to do? Because sometimes, well, I don't know if people put the two and two together, but the way we feel affects what we do or do not do in the world, right?

11:22Dr. Sara Joy O'NeillYeah. Um, well, it's funny because I did do things. I just didn't even See it like I, I was at that time. I was mostly just doing my chiropractic business. I so I was doing all three, but I yeah, it's so odd because when I think about it, I'm like, well, no, I would. I was taking actions. I wasn't starving. I had money coming in. I was you know the business running, but a lot of projects I wanted to start or new things just weren't. Happening, spinning my wheels on a lot of things and spending a lot of time just trying to figure out how to do something or what's the next step or yeah, it's it's strange because remembering back it's hard too and it's like what was I doing?

12:24Was I just sitting staring like if if a camera was on me was I sitting staring at the wall just Trying to figure out what to do next. I don't know.

12:35Shailia StephensYeah. Yeah. I had the experience when I used to feel really stressed and time poor that I was just spending a lot of time thinking about all the stuff that I was doing or should be doing and was not doing. I was— if a headspace is an empty container, it was filled to capacity with a lot of thinking about all the stuff I should be doing or was doing. And so I oftentimes felt stressed by work or business building or my daily life responsibilities because I was thinking about them more so than I was actually doing something.

13:21I mean, I was doing stuff. I was doing stuff like you. I was building a business. I was making money. I was living life. Like, I was going to the doctor when I needed to. Things were getting done.

13:30Dr. Sara Joy O'NeillYeah.

13:30Shailia StephensIt wasn't like there was this still state, but my experience of my life was such that my brain was always filled up with busy thinking about doing or not doing in addition to the work that actually was getting done. And so sometimes when I think back to that time period, I think of Superman and Clark Kent. I don't know why, but it's like, you know, they're one person, but they're two different identities, and it's like they're living two lives. um, the actual stuff that you're doing in your life versus all the stuff you're thinking about. It's like 2 energy sources that are, that are always running in parallel. That's how I think about it. Does that resonate with you?

14:16Dr. Sara Joy O'NeillYeah, yeah. I, I spent a lot of time, like you said, thinking about what I should do. And yeah, I, I— there was all sorts of things that I realized I don't want to do that, or I don't need to worry about X, Y, and Z. That'll take care of itself. Okay, I want to do this. Yeah, it's that whole spinning your wheels feeling that just eats up, eats up the life. Yeah.

14:51Shailia StephensYeah, definitely. So what shifted for you? Because actually, when we talked this week, We were just having a pre-conversation to the podcast and you were like, yeah, I've got all this stuff going on. I'm like building these like 3 things at once. And you were, you were telling me some of the cool stuff that was going on in the different businesses that you've got going. And you're like, I feel like I have tons of time. So what happened? How did you get there? Do you even know? Is it even cognizant to you what happened?

15:22Dr. Sara Joy O'NeillWell, So in, in one way, yes. In another way, not really, not entirely. Um, I had the experience of, of becoming aware of— because somebody, it was actually a client of mine who was talking about, he was saying he has no time. He spends this amount of time on the highway commuting to work. He's at work. And, um, As he was talking, I had this whole realization of, oh, that's what I used to sound like. Oh, but I don't. Oh, I feel like time's infinite. Well, how interesting. What happened? But so what happened from a broader view? I Was looking at, um, I think, do you guys talk about Sydney Banks here ever? Do people know who that is?

16:28Shailia StephensYes, they do.

16:31Dr. Sara Joy O'NeillSydney Banks. I realized that a lot of what he talked about was, um, go before the thoughts, go to the silence, sit, listen to the silence. And it— he was in different books and different places repeatedly pointing people to that space before we create anything, the space of who we are. And I'd realized I didn't— wasn't spending— something about the word silence. And I, I kept— it kept coming to me, go listen to the silence, be in the silence. I don't have enough time for silence.

17:15So it, it was— it just one day hit me like, that's what I need to focus on or do, or not really doing. But so I deliberately made that my priority in whatever I did, that good feeling, that silence, just all day, or as much of the day as, as possible. And it just felt like everything slowed down. And then, and then, you know, fast forward a few months and I'm going, oh my gosh, this is weird.

17:49Shailia StephensYeah.

17:51Dr. Sara Joy O'NeillBut it's, um, I— time to me looks like whatever we think it is or what we feel it is, that's what— that's how it acts. That's what it is in our lives. And so if a person thinks they have no time, then they won't. And if, if they slow down and experience the silence before all creation, then the things you want to create, they just kind of flow. Like, it's so interesting because it's like I'll look back on a week and go, oh, I did this, I did this, I, I wrote this. And yeah, it, it just sort of, it feels like magic. And yet, if a video camera was watching me, you would see me doing things.

18:41Shailia StephensYeah, that's fascinating to me. And so I want to ask you about that, because when I think a lot of times when people hear silence, they maybe think of meditation.

18:57Dr. Sara Joy O'NeillYeah.

18:57Shailia StephensLike stopping what you're doing and sitting in a corner on a pillow and staring at a white wall and trying to silence your mind. And what I heard you say and what I felt when you were speaking was sort of accessing silence all throughout the day, that it's somehow for you a place to access or I don't know what the words exactly are, but how would you explain that to someone out there from your feeling of what that is? And I got the feeling it wasn't sitting on a pillow somewhere in your office, but sitting at your desk and experiencing silence as you're working. Yeah.

19:48Dr. Sara Joy O'NeillSomewhere along the line with, with that, where when I realized that Sid was pointing people to the silence continuously, it, it's coming to me now. It's like the fabric of the universe is that silence. And so everything exists all at the same time. So busyness and silence, or chatter in my mind and silence, it's all It's all, it's all there all the time. And so where do I want to live or focus or put my attention? Where I say, oh, the almost like the underpinnings of the universe is silence. And so that felt to me like, okay, I'm made of that, I'll just tap into that.

20:40Shailia StephensHmm.

20:42Dr. Sara Joy O'NeillAnd even tap in sounds like, like, just, it's more like when I think of that idea, boop. Okay.

20:49Shailia StephensHa.

20:50Dr. Sara Joy O'NeillThere it is.

20:50Shailia StephensHmm.

20:52Dr. Sara Joy O'NeillSomeone else, it might be different wording or a different way of thinking about it or, or holding it in your mind. But, um, I think I just realized there's always silence. You don't create it. You create the, the busy, the thinking, the chatter.

21:11Shailia StephensYeah, yeah, yeah. So it's more like, um, remembering and falling back into that space.

21:20Dr. Sara Joy O'NeillYes. Yeah, I like that. Remembering. Yeah, I think it's like we're there anyway. So we might as well actually just be there. Yeah. Yeah. I think I slowed down and I more started getting done. Yeah.

22:04Shailia StephensYeah, yeah, I can really feel that way when you speak. I love that feeling so much. So I just think— oh, I'm, I'm just going to be super egoistic, and because I'm curious, um, so you were talking about, you know, you have your coaching practice, you have your chiropractic practice, you have your jewelry business. Like, you were also telling me in our pre-conversation how things are just flowing. You told me the example of getting into a jewelry fair recently where there was actually no space left available. Like, if you don't mind just sharing like some of the ways that you see things unfolding more simply, just from that more silent place in you. That'd be interesting.

23:00Dr. Sara Joy O'NeillMy first thought was, it's not all that— it's maybe more boring than it sounds, but, but it's not. Um, I'm literally just following what, what comes to me next, like the next insight, wisdom, or insight or thing. The jewelry fair was literally— it came to me because I used to do this one years ago, and I hadn't for a number of years. And yeah, it popped in my brain. It just appeared in my brain. Hey, that would be fun to do again. Oh, and you have a bunch of smaller necklace pieces because in the summer I'd been making a couple custom larger statement necklaces for a couple people.

23:54And when I make larger ones, I kind of— it's, it's like I experiment with what— it's almost like material science with the glass and what can I do. And so a number of smaller ones almost get thrown off in the process.

24:09Shailia StephensMm-hmm.

24:10Dr. Sara Joy O'NeillBut I had a whole bunch of things that could be sold, you know, just, hey, I got a whole bunch of them. But I wasn't even really thinking of that. They were just sort of sitting on my shelf. It literally popped in my head out of nowhere. That'd be fun to do. And then I happened to know one of the organizers, and she happened to show up in my chiropractic office one day, and it literally came out of my mouth, hey, do you think there's space left? And I remember thinking, oh, that's interesting.

24:41I didn't know I was gonna ask her. And, and yeah, and she, you know, checked into it, got back to me, and apparently it's, it's an outdoor thing. The weather's gonna be great this weekend, which is awesome. So apparently I'm gonna be in Bob's driveway with a, with a tent, like a, like a little artisan market outside, and, uh, in the midst of all the lederhosen and dirndls. Which makes me laugh. Sarah Joy. It's like we got all these overlapping festivals going on here right now.

25:26Yeah, it, things just line up. But yeah, they just, it just occurs to me. And there's a book I've been wanting to write for such a long time. And probably my whole life, I felt like I wanted to write a book but didn't know And then I, you know, I did know kind of the topic and what I wanted, but it just wasn't going. And in the summer, I— it sounds like I'm— it almost sounds like I'm like, uh, ditzy or something. But it was literally one Friday, I was like, oh look, I've got 5,000 words written.

26:04I like— I didn't mean to, sorry. I So that's where it's kind of like I look back and go, oh, look at what I was doing. How interesting. Maybe I'll— I guess I'll keep doing that. That was fun. And yeah, so each of those avenues just keep— it's like things come up and I'll work on one, and then things come up and I'll work on another, and then I'll— oh, okay, we'll have a new website. Working on a new website. It's not up yet, but Yeah, so it might sound or look scattered, but it, it just doesn't— it doesn't feel that way. It just feels like everything's flowing and I'm just kind of picking up the ball as it comes. Yeah.

26:47Shailia StephensYeah, it sounds joyful.

26:48Dr. Sara Joy O'NeillIt is. Yeah, it makes me laugh that it, it's funny because the, the way I talk about even the blog I write, it It feels like someone else is doing it sometimes. Like where I talk about, oh, that opportunity for that art fair came up. It's similar, like, oh, I wrote a blog. It feels like it came from, I don't know, popped out of the fabric of the universe somehow. But yeah, I wrote it.

27:22Shailia StephensYeah, yeah, yeah. It just It just feels— when I hear you talk, it just feels like flowing with life and being a little bit unleashed in that way. That's a word that I heard this week on Monday that I love so much, and I'm experiencing that a lot right now in the 3P in Africa projects that I'm working on.

27:47Dr. Sara Joy O'NeillIt's just—

27:50Shailia StephensI experience what you're talking about it's like we, we of course have a direction we want to go with the projects, right? It's all about alleviating human suffering. And there's a, there's a space of projects that are there from Kenya to Uganda and the Congo now. And it's just like, oh, it'll occur to me to reach out to Kat, which I did today, you know, last week. And then today we talked about having the Africans come on now and speak in the Czech Republic.

28:21And I just, had a lovely conversation with her, and we'll see what happens from there. And she had another idea for a second call, and there you go, we're into it. Or, you know, I just flow into things, ideas pop up, and I just do them without thinking too much about it. And that's what I hear you saying. There's a sort of joyful unleashedness in that. Like also having nothing on it in a way and just seeing what happens, what unfolds, what's fun about it. That's what I hear when you're talking too.

29:03Dr. Sara Joy O'NeillYeah, very, very similar to that. It's just things come up and, okay, let's go try that. Yeah, let's go try that.

29:17Shailia StephensYeah. And what do you say to the people out there? Because I know I used to belong to this category of people who was like, everything had to be strategic. I was a strategic planner for 15 years in communication sector. I felt like everything— like, if you would have said to me, you have 3 businesses and you don't have a strategic plan for how that's unfolding, I would say you're crazy. Like, what kind of kindergarten are you running over there? What would you say to those people? Like, how do you make a living just doing what pops up in your mind?

29:55Dr. Sara Joy O'NeillWell, some of the things that pop up in my mind, money flows behind them. So that would be how I, how I make a living. I love what Yeah, it's, it's funny. I love lists. And so a lot of times, if, if people hear sort of the way you were talking about the Africa projects, or, you know, just, oh, I do what comes to me, it sounds like there's zero planning. Sometimes it comes to me to make a list. Sometimes it comes to me to make more of a— I tend to plan with what you might call a mind map.

30:39So I kind of draw a picture and Or sometimes a whole structure of where I'd like things to go will come to me. And I'll see it as an image in my head of— and that's sort of where this website that I'm planning got born a little bit because I was like, oh, it could be sort of like an umbrella. And there could be this and there could be this and there could be online courses. And so Yeah, sometimes the thing that occurs to me to do might be more on a, on a planning scale.

31:16But, um, I think what you call strategic planning is much more structured, and it has to be a certain way. And I have no idea what's gonna, what's gonna show up or what's gonna work even. Uh, yeah, like, I have no idea what I have a whole bunch of— I don't know why this seems relevant, but all these necklaces I have to sell tomorrow and, and, uh, the next 2 days. They're very, very varied and different. Some of them are very large. Some of them are small.

31:51Some of them are quick and easy to make. Some of them take all day. And so the price points, I said to my assistant, I've got price points from $1 to like $350 and everything in between. And I have no idea. at this event, what's gonna appeal to people or what's gonna sell, and I'll find out. No idea. Yeah, yeah.

32:17Shailia StephensSo a big component of living in the unknowing of that and just flowing with that. That's cool for you.

32:26Dr. Sara Joy O'NeillYeah, well, you said unknowing. I had realized at one point that when, when we think we're scared of the unknown, it's, um, we're scared of what we're making up that's going to happen.

32:44Shailia StephensHmm.

32:45Dr. Sara Joy O'NeillBecause the unknown really is blank, or I don't know, and it's just this sort of spaciousness. And I guess I, I think I fell in love with that spaciousness a little bit. And, and just so curious, well, what's gonna pop out of that? I don't know.

33:08Shailia StephensYeah.

33:10Dr. Sara Joy O'NeillYeah.

33:11Shailia StephensNo, that's so beautiful. I want to go to this festival tomorrow and see this short. Maybe you can make a picture and send it to me on WhatsApp now that you're a WhatsApp genius, Sarah Joy.

33:22Dr. Sara Joy O'NeillI can do that. Yeah.

33:29Shailia StephensSo we, we also mentioned the teenagers at the beginning, and you've got certainly, uh, probably a lot going on with the kids. So how has that been affected by this feeling of sight spaciousness, that flowing that you've been doing? What have you noticed?

33:48Dr. Sara Joy O'NeillWhat makes me laugh, because I think what I'm about to say would— like, the previous me would be like really pissed off hearing But now me, because it's, it's like, well, I have, I have all this time. I'm just laughing because I'm like, well, because I talked about all these things I'm doing. But so, um, yeah, I have a 17-year-old boy and a 13-year-old girl. And, um, yeah, I find I'm really enjoying— I used to hate getting ready in the morning for school.

34:26It felt like it was taking up all my time. And I think, and I remember I would try different things. I would try to like, oh, I'm gonna get work done, or I'm gonna, but I think I was doing what I'm doing now, except I was hating it. Now I'm loving it. I think is the main difference. But I really enjoy being with them while they get ready for school. And it might just be, hey, Mommy, where's my sweatshirt? Oh, okay, it's in the— it's, it's in the dryer.

34:56Or where's this? Where's that? And making lunches. And what makes me laugh is today my son has— he plays football. So American-style football, not soccer. And he has a game, and I'm pretty sure I'm going to the game, and that's 2 hours in the middle of the day. I'm like, okay, yeah, I'm gonna get ready for the art show. I'm gonna do this. I'm gonna do that. I have a few calls. I'm going to go to the football game. It's going to be great. And yeah.

35:30Shailia StephensSo I hear that, that phenomena of nothing's really changed on the outside, but your experience of what hasn't changed has completely changed.

35:46Dr. Sara Joy O'NeillIn some areas, yeah. And then there's, there's other things that have completely changed. I think I'm getting things done quicker, like you said, spending— I'm not spending time worrying about, am I doing the right thing, or trying to make it happen in a certain way, or— yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And if, if, if not everything gets done, then not everything gets done. Um, yeah, yeah, yeah.

36:18Shailia StephensI hear, uh, Like a, a lot of calmness and freedom in that.

36:24Dr. Sara Joy O'NeillYeah, yeah. And the big things get done, or the things I really want to, want to do. Yeah, yeah.

36:49Shailia StephensJuggling with joy.

36:51Dr. Sara Joy O'NeillJuggling it all with joy. Yeah, I think I was just not willing to live in the stress anymore. It's like, I can't do this anymore. There must be another way. So I think at one point there was a bit of a leap of faith, like, okay, I'll, I'll try this silence thing. I'll try this. I'm laughing because sometimes when I try something new, whether it's— I've been involved in a number of sports and had coaches where they wanted me to do it a different way, but I, I was so convinced it wasn't going to work.

37:29And it's this feeling of, all right, fine, I'll try it. And when I, you know, crash and burn, it'll be all your fault. And so I had a bit of that feeling of like, Fine. I can't do it this way anymore. I'll try this silence thing. But, you know, it's not gonna work. Except it did. I'll try this slowing down thing. It'll be all your fault, Sydney Banks, when I end up, you know, starving.

38:01Shailia StephensDid you just say when you end up homeless and starving?

38:11Dr. Sara Joy O'NeillI was willing to make the experiment because the old way just, it doesn't work and it's exhausting.

38:18Shailia StephensYeah, yeah, it doesn't.

38:20Dr. Sara Joy O'NeillI'm happy to report that it's, that it works.

38:24Shailia StephensYeah, yeah, the old way does not make for a very beautiful life experience for sure, and I'm definitely witness to that as someone who has massively slowed down. And still gets a ton of things done as well. So like, yay, I'm in camp juggling with joy with you, Sarah Joy.

38:43Dr. Sara Joy O'NeillJoy. Excellent.

38:45Shailia StephensWell, just, just toward the end, because we are going to be closing up now, but, you know, I was just thinking, would you like to share some of the books by Sydney Banks that you read or some things you watched that people might be interested in looking at? Because when you were talking about it, It really felt like to me that something had sparked a deeper insight into you, and that probably you couldn't have done anything but try to go in the direction of silence because you heard something there. And sometimes it's just good for people to have a way to continue this conversation in some way by maybe going to check out some of these books or things you heard. Yeah.

39:28Dr. Sara Joy O'NeillWell, he wrote 6 books. There's one called The Missing Link that I really, really like. He's also got 2 of them, the Enlightened Gardener series, 1 and 2. That one took me a bit to get into because of the way it's written, but it's very— if you just kind of stick with it, it's really— there's a lot there, especially in the second one. Um, and yeah, it was something that, that was interesting because I must have had some sort of insight or, or I guess maybe just wisdom.

40:06It's like the idea of go to the silence wouldn't leave me alone. And it was so annoying. When you say that, um, you know, what did I hear? I heard something and it just kept coming and coming and coming because I wasn't at first. And then it was, it just, I kept hearing that word over and over and over again. So it was almost like, okay, fine, just to get that to shut up, let's all try it.

40:36Shailia StephensYeah.

40:37Dr. Sara Joy O'NeillMakes me laugh. There's a recording, and I, yes, I believe it's online if you Google Beyond Psychology by Thanks. It's an audio recording from probably the early '80s. I did find it on a website. Might be on YouTube at this point. That one was very impactful for me. However, there's so many recordings of him doing his lectures, and what's going to be impactful for one person may be different for somebody else. But yeah, there's a ton of them out there. I believe there's a whole new website now, Sidney banks, I believe, .com. Yeah, they've got all his books there. Everything's there.

41:27Shailia StephensYeah. So I'm going to put those recommendations from you, Sarah Joy, in the show notes, including the website. And I think those are great resources for the people who are listening today. Is there anything else you want to share with our listeners out there about juggling with joy or anything else that you've seen in your journey from the 3 Principles perspective that you think would be helpful?

41:57Dr. Sara Joy O'NeillWell, it, it's, it's very simple to me. It all comes down to living a good feeling, whatever that means. At one point as well, I got really Unwilling to live in a negative feeling. And it didn't— it— that sounds like I was trying to engineer feelings or stop the bad feeling from happening, which is just going to get you more of that.

42:38Shailia StephensYeah.

42:39Dr. Sara Joy O'NeillIt, it came down to where I could see I had a choice. And, and it was like, oh, I get to live in the good feeling if I want to. I'll do that. Give me more of that. But that's where everything lives. All the ideas, all the, all the— and it's slowing down enough to feel that.

43:01Shailia StephensYeah.

43:04Dr. Sara Joy O'NeillYeah. Yeah.

43:05Shailia StephensIt's beautiful, Sarah Joy. So Where can people come and visit you? So where is this new website going to be?

43:14Dr. Sara Joy O'NeillUm, what's the new website? It's sarahjoyoneal.com. Um, but it doesn't exist yet. Uh, my current website, drsarahoneal.com. Very similar.

43:36Shailia StephensThat's the chiropractic website.

43:39Dr. Sara Joy O'NeillYeah, it also has coaching on there. There's not a huge amount on, on that one. It's just sort of basics. My jewelry, I have a Facebook— what you don't call it site, Facebook account, I guess. So my jewelry business is called Turtle Whale Designs.

44:03Shailia StephensTurtle Whale Designs.

44:05Dr. Sara Joy O'NeillTurtle Whale Designs, all one word. Um, and that one, yeah, I'm gonna— I'm, I'm— there's gonna be another website with that too. I don't know when that's gonna happen. I don't know when anything's gonna happen, but seems to happen. So yeah.

44:22Shailia StephensWell, you're lucky. These podcast episodes will be on for as long as the podcast exists. So if you can— someone might be listening to this in 6 months from now. By then you might have a new website or Facebook page, but I will post the ones below that belong to you now.

44:37Dr. Sara Joy O'NeillI do have a blog on the Dr. Sarah O'Neill website that people can check out, all about all these topics, essentially. Yeah. Yeah.

44:50Shailia StephensWell, thanks so much, Sarah Joy. That was so lovely to talk to you today. Such fun, so much joy. And for all the people listening out there, I hope you either had just simple fun today, or even better, that you heard something for yourself. And if anything, what I like to always highlight is the idea of hope, because I remember when I was in a really stressed-out mind, when I was feeling very time-poor, always constricted around doing things and creating things.

45:23I I saw from one person, it was Nicola Bird, that she had been in that situation and that had shifted for her completely to a similar space of spaciousness and flow and fun. And just seeing that that was possible for one person made it feel hopeful for myself. And so if anything, if only today's purpose was for you to feel hopeful that if Sarah Joy can get there, you can get there. If I can get there, you can get there. It's possible for you. It's educated faith. And that's, that's so much value in and of itself. So, Sarah Joy, thank you for being that example for someone today. And thank you. Yeah, go ahead. So you want to say some closing words?

46:09Dr. Sara Joy O'NeillI was gonna say thank you, and thank you for having me. And yeah, it's, it's that hope anything's possible. Yeah, coming to mind also, I think if people desire something, if, if there's something like that that you want, you want something to be different, that's That is your wisdom coming through, saying it's possible. It is possible.

46:33Shailia StephensYeah, yeah. It's like a, a chain of dominoes. It's the first domino that's been flicked, and the rest, um, the rest your wisdom will be showing you. So just keep looking and keep, keep open. Yeah. Thanks, Sarah Joy. Talk to you soon, guys, on the next episode. Bye-bye.

46:51Dr. Sara Joy O'NeillBye.