34 – Sharing is Growing: Building a Better World Together

0:01Shailia StephensSo hello and welcome back to another episode of Time for You. I'm Shellya, and I'm with my beautiful friend and colleague, Leah Van Lee.

0:09Lea WernliHi.

0:10Shailia StephensAnd guys, if you're new to the podcast and you didn't know, um, I'm an American abroad in Germany. Leah's, um, a Swiss Heidi from the mountains who landed up in, in Zurich. And, um, we hope though that this is a universal conversation that everyone would be Loving to hear. Leah and I like to hang out and talk. It's kind of— it's our fun friend time that you get to listen in on. And Leah, I just wanted to share some of the stuff that I've been experiencing the last couple of weeks and months with you in 3PN Africa.

0:47Lea WernliYes, please.

0:49Shailia StephensAnd one of the things on my mind today was to talk with you about kind of how the projects are set up.

0:58Lea WernliMm-hmm.

0:59Shailia StephensOn the last podcast episode, we were talking about like, what's the vision for your life? And this, this set of projects also has a vision and a very clear direction that it's going in. And the way that vision is set up really defines how things happen there. And it really is interesting to me to see how that clear vision unfolds every day in the most daily, simple of ways. And one of the things that— well, so, so Harry, Harry Derbitsky, he's, he's, he's the force behind the 25 projects in Uganda and Kenya.

1:44And now they're going into the Congo. And he has some things that he was telling me when we first kind of accidentally became a team. Like, I never said to him, I want to be on the team. He never said, will you be on the team?

1:59Lea WernliBut you wanted to be on exactly this kind of work and team. I remember that, just about visioning and manifesting and things coming into the world. You wanted to work in this kind of setting.

2:20Shailia StephensAnd I totally did. And I had no idea what it— what and how and anything. And then it just kind of unfolded. And so Harry and I got on a call and he said to me, Shelly, I want you to know we only have a couple of guiding— what do you say in English? I'm trying to think— guidelines for the projects.

2:41Lea WernliOh, guideline.

2:44Shailia StephensGuidelines. So one is we're, we're working to alleviate human suffering. That is the big—

2:51Lea WernliAlleviate means to lessen.

2:55Shailia StephensYeah, alleviate. Well, actually, alleviate actually means to completely rid something. So if you alleviate pain, you're getting rid of pain. Alleviate human suffering. Interestingly enough, in conversations with Hari over the last couple of months, I've come to understand that he really sees human suffering as a spiritual manifestation. That's not a bad thing that suffering happens. It's just part of all of life and the energy of life. So saying we're going to alleviate it has, has, has a different meaning for me now than we were, than we were first talking about.

3:35And it really resonates with me. Because sometimes suffering can be something that is a catalyst for a really positive change or spiritual growth in our life. So But still, it's the mission of the project to alleviate human suffering. The second thing he said to me was, anything you want to do, do it if it's coming from the spirit moving you.

4:01Lea WernliHmm.

4:02Shailia StephensI don't know if he said it that way, but it was just this kind of like, if the spirit's moving you to do it, go with it. This is a, this is a spiritual movement. And if it's not fun, we're not doing it. Which sounds really—

4:15Lea WernliI love that.

4:18Shailia StephensYeah. It's like he's, he's 80, 81 years old or 80 years old. I think you're 80, 79 or 80. And he's like, I don't have a lot of time left here on this planet. If it's not fun, I'm not doing it. Uh, which sounds crazy too, because we're working in refugee camps and orphanages and vulnerable communities. But I guarantee you, we have fun every day on every one of the projects. It's, it's part of the vision. The next thing he said to me was something like, what we're doing here is we are making people our colleagues.

4:57So Harry is really clear around this isn't about we're here and you're here. It's this understanding that any single person that we have any contact with can jump above our level of consciousness at any moment. And it is our job and our mandate to make sure that happens as best we can.

5:20Lea WernliYeah.

5:20Shailia StephensSo it's really this empowering way of being in the projects, right? Because we're moving people up to our level and hopefully above ourselves as quickly as possible, which in Africa is easy because the people are already so spiritually grounded. The spirit moves through them all the time. They're just like missing this little piece of the role of thought and the mental, the mental well-being understanding. So that's something he told me, which really kind of like really clearly got me focused on what we're doing here.

5:56Lea WernliI love that.

5:58Shailia StephensAnd then another thing that I started to hear people say, I don't think Harry said it to me that day, but I started to hear everybody in the project saying it every time I would come into contact with something, someone new. And they would say, when we share, we grow. And it's a constant statement. When we share, we grow. When we share, we grow. And I started thinking about this, this morning, and how it's starting to unfold within me, this hearing this all the time.

6:33Because you have to imagine that these projects are Zero monetarily focused. We do, we do raise donations, obviously, because we have needs that people in the refugee camps need to get from point A to point B. And if that village is 40 kilometers away, they need some sort of resources to get there, right? So there's— they can't take part in the classes unless they have Wi-Fi, which costs a lot of money for them. So we need to have resources for them to get online so we can even share the teaching.

7:05Lea WernliMm-hmm.

7:05Shailia Stephensbecause we're not in Africa, we're online teaching. So, but other than that, there's no, there's no, we're trying to make money here. It's none of that. It's zero. So everything that we do is completely free of monetary gain. So it's like the only probably project in my life where I've ever had that experience where it's completely free of that. And the only thing that is driving people is these things I was telling you about, alleviating human suffering, bringing people up to the level of our colleagues.

7:38And the idea is that there is a great reward in the sharing. So it's not just you're sharing with others to alleviate their suffering, but it's the idea that every single time you show up and you share something from your wisdom, you're growing as a spiritual entity, as a human being.

7:59Lea WernliYeah.

8:00Shailia StephensAnd it is the most fun and empowering way of being in the world. And then I think you and I can relate to it anyway, because, you know, we know, we know how that feels when we share with our coaching clients how we grow. We know when we show up for a podcast, we're going to hear something that's going to strengthen our, our grounding or trigger a new thought or fresh thinking. But But I just wanted to share that today for this podcast because I had a thought while I was on the balcony before, just taking a little break while you, while you were off.

8:39I think so many people are out in the world and they're kind of wondering, how can we make a better world? Like, we've got so much things going on, whether it's in the Middle East, in the Ukraine, just conflicts, wars, the political divide in the US that's happening. Just, just to say a few that are kind of present to me being, being a, being a Western person living in Europe. And I think we sometimes feel a little bit machlos, also ohnmächtig, oder machlos. I don't know the word.

9:17Lea WernliPowerless.

9:18Shailia StephensPowerless. Yeah. And What I've started to see in Africa is how this simple idea of when we share, we grow. When we, when we live that, it spreads like wildfire.

9:33Lea WernliMm-hmm.

9:34Shailia StephensBecause the next person who, who hears something and it's bettered their life, they've— their suffering has reduced. And they hear that when we share, we grow. They go and share it with somebody else. They alleviate someone else's suffering. They grow as a human being and a spiritual being. And I just had the feeling today on the balcony that one statement could change the entire world.

9:59Lea WernliYes.

9:59Shailia StephensIf we were to live it.

10:00Lea WernliI love that so much, Ilya. And actually, it's a very natural thing. Yeah. In a way, I couldn't not share. when I saw it.

10:16Shailia StephensYeah.

10:17Lea WernliMy mentee, you know, you know who.

10:21Shailia StephensYes.

10:23Lea WernliShe starts to share it all over the place, and the people start to tell her that she could become a coach and a youth coach and a kids coach. And she tells the people how the Schneekugel, the snow globe works and just from living, seeing change, the huge change that it made on her life. So I just love that so much. But back to that.

10:59Shailia StephensNo, stay the same.

11:06Lea WernliI really, I so can relate to that. And it's a bit funny, guys, that Shelley and myself, we reversed the places at the moment.

11:15Shailia StephensYeah.

11:16Lea WernliI worked a lot with like youth and really in very, very difficult situations and all of that. And I still do. That's just the part I can't and do not talk about here. because it's, um, confidentiality in a lot of cases. So I really, I, I'm deep into the, this kind of work too. And it just, it, it, it touches me so much how, how it touches you.

11:50Shailia StephensMm-hmm.

11:51Lea WernliAnd, and like, I, I just feel that life and love is moving you in that direction. And it's another, I don't know, it's just bigger than us.

12:15Shailia StephensMm-hmm.

12:16Lea WernliIt's bigger than us. And what I always want to say here, But it's not better than any kind of work that you out there or we could do.

12:32Shailia StephensNo.

12:32Lea WernliAnd it's also not better if it's not paid. It's just, Shelia or myself, we've been moved to work with youth or with— in Africa, or that, that wasn't like only a conscious choice.

12:52Shailia StephensNo.

12:52Lea WernliSo nothing is better or, or, or, or how do you say it? Um, in religions there is this not being a saint, but you know what I mean? This, it's so good work and good to do good work is better than to do other work. And I think it's very important to know everything, everything you do from your heart and as a decent human and try to be a decent human in a, in a bit effed up world sometimes is amazing.

13:34Shailia StephensYeah.

13:35Lea WernliSo, um, but I love it and I love how it spreads. And it's just what I see with the teenagers as well. It's so they don't think about it. They just tell you, you don't know that. I mean, look, it's like that. And I mean, it's your thinking. And now you, you know, and if you know that, you don't punch. And she was very angry, one of my mentees, one day. And I was like, oh, did you go out? And what happened? Like, before it was punching and certain stuff. And she was like, I mean, Leah, what do you think? I would never punch again. I know I have to calm down first. And it's so, this obvious.

14:23Shailia StephensYeah.

14:24Lea WernliWhen you see it. And what I love in what you, you're talking as well is this, it doesn't need that much. It, it, we think it needs like insights and whatever, but it's just like, oh, oh yeah. And then Growing with what you've seen in daily life, in, in doing whatever you do. I share it at the bakery. I share it in the coffee shop. I share it all the effing time because it's just so freeing and obvious and helpful and, and a way of—

15:06Shailia StephensMm-hmm.

15:07Lea WernliSuddenly it becomes a way of being.

15:10Shailia StephensYeah.

15:10Lea WernliAnd it's a lot easier than we think. And this is so hopeful in what you are sharing. So it's hopeful that it spreads on a whole continent.

15:25Shailia StephensYeah.

15:25Lea WernliAnd it's hopeful to see, hey, just share whatever the heck you've seen.

15:32Shailia StephensOh gosh.

15:34Lea WernliIt's, it's Just go, just go with that and be in the world. All of us, all of you.

15:42Shailia StephensYeah, I love that you're saying that, Leah, because, you know, in Africa, we don't, we don't talk about the 3 principles in the classic way. It's, um, very rarely are mind consciousness and thought ever even mentioned. And we talk about love. We talk about loving yourself and loving your neighbors, you know. Um, we talk about forgiving yourself and forgiving others because there are a lot of bad things that have happened to people from wars and conflicts and things like that.

16:10And I, I would pick up what you said and I would expand it and I would say, yeah, absolutely. It doesn't matter if you are a baker, if you are a homemaker, um, you've seen something good in your life. You've got things that are good, um, that you can share with others. If it's a smile, it, it doesn't, it doesn't matter. Whatever, whatever is good within you. Um, if you share it, you will grow. And, um, I know, I know it's for you, obviously, because Leah is, you know, of all the, of all the people I know, she, uh, she shares really literally, uh, her insights and her understanding with everyone.

16:52Lea WernliThe police.

16:53Shailia StephensThe police, the grocer, the thrift store lady. Um, I don't do that. I, you know, my, my thing that was for me, the big thing when I, when I stopped suffering was just becoming alive again. Just being in life again instead of in my head was so important to me. And that was great. And I did share in that time.

17:15Lea WernliMm-hmm.

17:16Shailia StephensI obviously did. But it, it's a helpful reminder for me because I tend to keep more, keep things to myself. I more have to push myself to, to share stuff. And yeah, so I love, I love the daily reminders. If I share a little thing with Martha on WhatsApp, and she sees everything I say as teachings, even though I'm teaching nothing, I'm just being her friend. And she'll be like, thanks for that teaching, sis. She's— then she'll write, when we share, we grow. And I'm like, yeah, we do. We really, we really do.

17:52Lea WernliMm-hmm.

17:53Shailia StephensYeah, it's just beautiful.

17:56Lea WernliAnd hey guys out there, um, I mean, we do that and, you know, I mean, obviously it's very egoistic of Shelia and myself, so it's not really work that we hang out and share with you guys as well. But maybe, maybe we could raise something together for Africa. That would be very, very cool as a collective like the podcast crew and listeners around Time for You. So if you feel drawn— and that just came very, uh, um, natural, I— we didn't plan that— but I think that would be extremely cool just to donate whatever you could spare, like a coffee or a lunch or a dinner or whatever is in for your pocket, the right thing, that would be highly, highly appreciated.

18:59So we will put the donation link in the show notes. So yeah, let's do that, like, for Christmas and for just today and for all of us.

19:12Shailia StephensOh, thank you for saying that, Leah. I, I sometimes feel a little bit awkward about, like, mentioning that, but, um, it's so needed. Like, that just, just Just as a simple example, this week on Friday, I'm meeting with 2 clients and Martha from Kenya is joining us. And she almost couldn't join us on Friday because she doesn't have enough Wi-Fi. And we got so lucky that a donation came in today that she'll probably— she'll be able to take part on Friday. We wouldn't have been able to share with her otherwise.

19:42Lea WernliYeah.

19:42Shailia StephensSo really, really cool. Really cool.

19:45Lea WernliLet's do that.

19:47Shailia StephensYeah, thanks.

19:48Lea WernliSo give me the donation link as well. I've got an idea.

19:52Shailia StephensOkay.

19:53Lea WernliI will share it with you tomorrow.

19:55Shailia StephensOkay. I will do that. I will do that. Yeah. So anyway, I just wanted to share that with you, Leah, because it's been just so inspiring to me. And I also wanted to kind of piggyback on the last episode because I wanted to, you know, just say to you, I do see value in a vision. It really, Especially in a group, not even for your personal self. You know what I mean?

20:20Lea WernliI totally, that did like shine when you said it. I was like, I remember Jamie, for example, Smart. He always comes from his vision of, one part of his vision is that no kid will being born to parents who do not know the principles.

20:46Shailia StephensYeah.

20:47Lea WernliFor example. So, and to move with that, it takes the personal thing also a bit out of your way to being moved by together and going together in a direction. Yeah.

21:04Shailia StephensIt does. And again, that's not something that's natural for me. I'm not a person who naturally just has a vision for my life, or it's not something that I think about or focus on. And it was one of those moments when Harry shared that vision with me that I, that I realized how, how it gathers us together and points us in a common direction. And it changes the way that we show up as a collective, you know.

21:31Lea WernliTotally. And maybe that's the transfer as well, even like the share, like grow when we grow when we share. That's just amazing. And I think we all could go out today and share if we feel drawn to, and to really think about what, what is needed, maybe in a family. Or I just remembered classrooms. I was a special needs teacher, and that was wild sometimes.

22:03Shailia StephensYeah.

22:04Lea WernliAnd I remember that I did put a lot of but like calm, clear thinking before, like, what do I want? What do I need? What are the guidelines that are really important? Because those kids, they couldn't behave the way we wanted them to behave. So it was not like, you have to behave. It was, one thing was, you always, you always say sorry.

22:33Shailia StephensMm-hmm.

22:33Lea Wernliwe always go out of the room, um, and when we said sorry, if something happens, it will happen, that's fine, but we, we will come together at the end and say sorry. So yeah, I just— that just came to mind like, like one thing.

22:52Shailia StephensYeah.

22:53Lea WernliAnd, and to just to feel into that, so you We don't have to run around and chase all the things we think we need or think we want or think are important to the— what is really— what do we really want?

23:17Shailia StephensYeah.

23:17Lea WernliAnd like this fun that— I love the fun part.

23:21Shailia StephensMm-hmm.

23:22Lea WernliWhat Harry is saying, and, and also the being I side, like I level.

23:33Shailia StephensYeah.

23:33Lea WernliAnd even, even more.

23:35Shailia StephensYeah.

23:36Lea WernliJust to, yeah, to feel into that. What is relevant? What comes to mind?

23:42Shailia StephensYeah. Yeah. I love that. I love that. Oh, so exciting, Leah. So, okay, we're gonna wrap up this episode. And thanks, thanks just for listening in and being a part of our day. And we hope you had a beautiful time for yourself to connect with your love and presence and well-being. If something touched you today, we're super happy. And we would say share it with others.

24:08Lea WernliYes.

24:09Shailia StephensLet them know about this podcast. And yeah, share the love, share the love in this way. If it's Helping you to have a better day, be a better person, whatever it is. We just enjoy so much hanging out with you. So see you on the next episode.

24:24Lea WernliBye.