18 – Bridging Worlds: Embracing Separate Realities

0:03Lea WernliHi and welcome back to Time for You. Um, it's Chill Saturday. It's the Saturday between High Friday and Easter Sunday, and we are still recording. Shelia Stevens, who is in Frankfurt at the moment, and myself, Lea Wendtli, in Zurich. For you. Um, just relax and take some time off, and maybe you're— oh God, I can't say this word—

0:42Shelia Stevenspreparing.

0:44Lea WernliPreparing. Preparing. And I, I'm literally not able to learn it, guys. Isn't that strange? Shelia told me the word like 100 times and I can't, and I don't care. So whatever you do, um, maybe you continue to do whatever you do but just in a more relaxed way, or you have a cup of tea or coffee and chill out with us for a little while. So here, that's really kind of a small break. We We start a day before Friday, and most of Switzerland have the day off. So there is kind of a small, um, holiday, like 4 days, and even Monday is off, off too.

1:37Shelia StevensYeah.

1:38Lea WernliAnd it's this mini break, like a mini chilled spring break, not like the spring break. you guys have, but this small, nice in-between time. And one of my boys really loves Easter because he's such a sweet tooth, and he's going to get like, I don't know, a ton of chocolate eggs and chocolate bunnies and chocolate whatever. So imagine the finest, nicest Swiss chocolate in every shape or form you can imagine. That's— yeah.

2:24Shelia StevensDo you guys do the Easter bunny hunt or the Easter egg hunt?

2:29Lea WernliYes.

2:29Shelia StevensOkay, so even at that age, that's still doing the bunny hunt?

2:34Lea WernliBecause of the chocolate. He does it for his little cousin, so he put all the chocolate into the garden and probably eats on the way half of it with his cousin. So yeah, that's why he's totally still totally into it.

2:53Shelia StevensOkay. Yeah. Well, last— so, you know, I'm in Frankfurt right now and it's the Easter break here too. So Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday. And we were in the city yesterday and nothing is open, right? So all of the city, like, it's not like America or maybe the UK where things stay open, the commerce stays open. So everything shuts down. stores are open, like a few cafes and restaurants, but even half of those are closed. And yesterday it was like kind of cold and rainy, but we walked like 14 kilometers through the city and we went to sort of like, you know, one of those— Frankfurt's the only city in all of Germany that has a high-rise landscape, right?

3:34Lea WernliMm-hmm.

3:34Shelia StevensSo we have a lot of banks and corporate buildings and we went up like high onto, I don't know, here high is like the 9th floor, the 10th floor. And it was just We were the only people in the location, in the bar, and it was so, so nice. But just everything's so chill right now. Everyone's with their family and hanging out. So it's a really relaxed time.

4:00Lea WernliEven in Zurich, we had a parking slot in the middle of town yesterday. So yeah, they're gone. A lot of people are going south to the south part of Switzerland or Italy even, or—

4:14Shelia StevensThe Tessin down there.

4:16Lea WernliTessin. Yeah.

4:17Shelia StevensOkay, yeah, really cool.

4:19Lea WernliYeah, yeah. So what, what are we talking about? Um, actually, we're always talking about the principles in action, and that's really cool because often in the teachings it's the principles in theory. Yeah. And, and what we want to do is just sharing with you guys Hanging out, sharing about life, and how it looks different with what we know. And the principles are the principle of thought, consciousness, and mind. And it's so weird that to know about it in theory and to have a glimpse of what it could mean really changes something in reality.

5:13That's kind of, um, strange. And I had, I had actually a lot of first coachings with a lot of people who have never heard about it, and even people who are coming from totally different spiritual or psychological, um, schools. And they didn't know what I, what I do. They were recommended, or we met, or whatever. And it was so interesting that all of them at the end kind of pointed out how, how different they felt with me. And it's not me, it's my knowing of being present with someone that changes it.

6:05Shelia StevensYeah.

6:07Lea WernliAnd my, my really curious looking into the direction of where they see wisdom and, and feel and know what they need to do. And, and just this opens up a lot.

6:25Shelia StevensYeah.

6:27Lea WernliEven when you don't know anything about principles. So, but that's not the direction I wanted to go. The direction is another kind of teachable moment in a way. I had a, a bit weird or strange conversation with several people, all of them experts in their field. I can't talk about it because it's confidential, but what happened was The people talked from their expertise and not from their heart or their inner knowing or the presence. And it, it just felt so weird and somehow even wrong.

7:32Even though from the outside, probably, that would have seemed like a very interesting and intellectual and deep conversation, it wasn't because the The things that really went on beneath weren't addressed or spoken out or, um, brought to the table. And it was really interesting. I, I just started to calm down and, and become more quiet and But I couldn't change the discussion. Um, everything I said, when I said something, um, got understood wrong, in entre parenthèses. What's that? In quotes.

8:47Shelia StevensAh. Not wrong, nothing is wrong, but It was misunderstood, it was misinterpreted, it was taken the wrong way. Totally.

8:57Lea WernliYeah. And to just observe also my brain, who of course jumped on it, I'm not understood, or they don't get what I want to say, and back to presence. And Even though it didn't change, it was easier to be with this whole discussion and misunderstood present than not present somehow. And it was unpleasant, of course. What's the difference for me nowadays is to walk out, to think about it an hour, and then it's done.

9:51Shelia StevensMm.

9:54Lea WernliAnd I would have thought about it for a very long time. I would have taken it personally. I would have Made something out of it. And it still, it was the experience and it was not pleasant and I, I couldn't change it even with everything I know and they couldn't hear, they were in their head and that's okay and I was okay and not okay at the same time. So It's not always about, oh, it's going to be smooth and everything changes and they— you're going to be understood. No.

10:45Shelia StevensMm-hmm.

10:46Lea WernliWe are villains in somebody else's story.

10:50Shelia StevensYeah.

10:51Lea WernliAnd we— and that's okay. And to start to be okay with that is Ooh, that's quite transformative in a way. Even with someone who doesn't know anything and really believes that you're a villain. Imagine that. And you, you're able to be okay with that. And there is someone sneaking in on your side.

11:22Shelia StevensHi, Alyssa. We're in the middle of episode 2 and you can't hear Leah, but she's saying, Alyssa. Guys on the podcast, my best friend and I are here in a hotel room, and Alyssa was just on a run and she's come back and she knew we were, we were doing podcast episodes.

11:42Lea WernliYeah, and it's the BFF of Shelia, but I really love her. And I did booty calls— no, not once. I totally got it wrong back then.

11:52Shelia StevensShe's talking about booty wiggle dances that she was, uh, mis-terming as booty calls. Yeah. A whole different thing. Yeah.

12:04Lea WernliOh, oh, oh, there is one.

12:05Shelia StevensThis is coming on the internet, just so you know. She's like, the internet knows my booty.

12:11Lea WernliOkay. So, um, sometimes someone wants to promise us like a life without struggle or being a villain or being misunderstood or But that's never the reality, and it's not going to happen because we live in separate realities, and we always will, even when we understand what we are talking about.

12:42Shelia StevensYeah, yeah, totally. Yeah. So do you mind if I, like, just, just to make it even maybe some more clear for some people, if I dig in, like When, when I imagine you being there, and I, I don't know the, the situation, but like the question that comes to mind is like, what was bothering you? Was it that, you know, that you were being villainized? Was it bothering you that you were seeing people speaking from that intellectual space instead of really just being in the present moment? Then, or did it bother you that the subject of the conversation was not getting what they needed because of The intellectual conversation was going on? What was the thing?

13:28Lea WernliAll of it. So, and probably that's what's happening often. And sometimes we are able to kind of um, change the way it goes through our presence.

13:59Shelia StevensYeah.

13:59Lea WernliAnd sometimes we can't.

14:01Shelia StevensYeah.

14:01Lea WernliAnd to be okay with both as well, because, um, our ego is such a sneaky bitch. And suddenly you think, I, I'm always gonna be able to change it. when I'm really present. No, you won't. I will not. So, and that's okay too. But, um, and to be okay that it was really not on all 3 levels not that good.

14:41Shelia StevensYeah.

14:41Lea WernliAnd for sure not for the person who it was all about.

14:45Shelia StevensYeah.

14:47Lea WernliAnd, and, and still kind of see the little steps and the thing that changes, even though it's not the way I would want it to be.

14:59Shelia StevensYeah.

15:00Lea WernliAnd also to be kind of humble around it because we never know. And that's okay too.

15:13Shelia StevensYeah, yeah.

15:13Lea WernliAnd being willing to show up again, and to show up again, and to show up again. And not to link it to success, or how it goes, or being able to change. You know what I mean?

15:40Shelia StevensYeah.

15:41Lea WernliNot failing, but to trust that no matter what, there is always a change, and it will always change. Yeah, even when we can't see it in the moment, and that's sometimes hard or strange, or we want it different.

16:19Shelia StevensYeah, yeah. And what I, what I'm hearing in that too is like, um, when you, when you say this like willingness to keep showing up, it's like I think sometimes what happens in those situations, or what can happen, is like you you either give up and you disengage and you just don't care anymore and you're just, ah, they're gonna do what they're gonna do. Or we go into that other mode, which is like, no, I'm gonna make them see that, you know.

16:53Lea WernliYes, I'm right.

16:55Shelia StevensI'm right. It's like it's in love and presence and wisdom in the moment, you know. Um, but What I am hearing you say is it's really something softer in the middle. It's like the willingness to keep it as a matter of importance and showing up again present and knowing what you know, but not making it so overly serious also.

17:19Lea WernliMm-hmm.

17:21Shelia StevensIt's the two ways. It's staying engaged, but it's still having trust in the unfolding. Um, and I think that's important because I think in life we get sometimes so disillusioned in those situations and we just want to disengage with what's going on.

17:40Lea WernliYes.

17:41Shelia StevensYeah.

17:41Lea WernliAnd maybe that's a bit strange. I mean, there is a lot around the talk, or it's a lot talked around the topic of boundaries and Nobody should step over your boundaries. And I'm totally in for that inner boundary of, um, knowing when to stop or knowing when to still show up even though it's uncomfortable and weird and you're not heard. But you know, again, and the intellect does whatever it does. Yeah. So more the inner boundary than the outer. Does that make sense?

18:37Shelia StevensYeah.

18:38Lea WernliNot what someone does, but what you know what to do with. Yeah.

18:45Shelia StevensYeah. And while you were talking to, in the beginning, when you, you know, you started to explain, Another thought that came to me was I have a lot of compassion for those people who are coming from that place of expertise. I really can relate to that because I remember in a time in my life when I was all about the expertise, right?

19:07Lea WernliYeah.

19:08Shelia StevensLike what I know and how things need to be because of the the expertise and how much I showed up in the world from that intellectual space, also as a way of protecting myself, right? Because sometimes when you show up as the expert, you're kind of showing up with your armor on.

19:35Lea WernliMm-hmm.

19:36Shelia StevensAnd all of your arguments and the things you're pointing to from that standpoint is like your weapons in a way.

19:44Lea WernliMm-hmm.

19:45Shelia StevensSo you don't get hurt or, or penetrated by somebody else with their expertise and their weapons. Like, I don't know what was going on in your conversation, but that's just how I perceived it at the time. And, um, how then I, I couldn't be in my heart space. I didn't even know back then what that was, how that felt like, um, to just be present and, um, coming from my wisdom, my intuition. I couldn't even feel where the other people were, or I didn't even really see them.

20:23I only was seeing myself, like my space in this conversation and how I need to show up to be perceived as an expert, to be seen a certain way or contribute in a certain way. So when you were talking about that, I had a lot of compassion for the other participants as well because I've been there.

20:39Lea WernliYeah.

20:42Shelia StevensUm, you know, so I hope, I hope for them that they do at some point in their life, you know, um, move maybe a little more from their head into their heart because that will certainly profit them as human beings as well.

20:59Lea WernliYeah, totally. Yeah, I know what you mean. And it's also always just a state of mind, low mood, high mood. And, and this conversation could have been totally different in probably in a different moment. So, yeah, there as well, it's, it's fluid. It's not that rigid and hard as we some I think it is.

21:33Shelia StevensYeah.

21:34Lea WernliYeah. And if you guys think, why is Lea not talking about what's really happening? I can't often. I'm in confidential conversations, and I just take out the topic as a, as a, how do you say it?

21:52Shelia StevensA direction to look in.

21:54Lea WernliA direct, a direct, an example, you know. Yeah, so we wish you another lovely chilled whatever day because that's fun. I met people who, who thought that Shelia and myself are really recording like the day when it's— it comes out, but no, that's not how it happens. I'm sorry to disappoint you if you thought that too, but we record and we record several sometimes, or one after another, and Then you guys are getting it, um, every other Friday.

22:34Shelia StevensYeah, a couple weeks later.

22:35Lea WernliYes. So could you, um, do the— yeah, thank you.

22:42Shelia StevensOf course I can. So thanks for listening in today, guys. And, um, if you like the podcast and you're getting something out of the conversations, Do go ahead and follow us on Spotify or Apple Podcasts or wherever you're listening in, um, so you'll be notified of new episodes. And also recommend over to your family, friends, colleagues, anyone you think could profit from listening into the conversation, or who maybe just does their laundry and likes to, uh, listen in while they're busy doing the housework, uh, like we do. And we'll see you on the next episode of Time for You. Until then, bye-bye.

23:18Lea WernliBye.