41 – What If Life’s Plan Is Bigger Than Yours? A Conversation on Trust & Timing

0:01Shailia StephensSo hello and welcome back to Time for You. We're taking time for ourselves today. Leah's been sitting in the sunshine for the last 2 hours, like, just chatting with me, having a coffee, looking chill with her little cap on. Leah, show, show us again your view, if you don't mind. She's in the Swiss Alps still.

0:22Lea WernliBeautiful. Look at that, guys.

0:25Shailia StephensLike, yeah, leave it there just a little moment. Blue skies, sunshine, snow-capped mountains. Lea, are you guys up high that you just get out of the room and onto the ski slopes, or do you have to take the, the ski lift up?

0:40Lea WernliThat's a slope like right in front of my room.

0:44Shailia StephensThat is crazy. So I'm, I'm soaking up some of the sun here too. So my name is Shelly Stevens, if in case you're new to the podcast, and I'm, I'm an American abroad living in Germany near Frankfurt am Main in Germany, and this is my beautiful Dear friend and colleague, Leah Van Lee, our little Swiss Heidi. Hi, Leah.

1:04Lea WernliI'm actually— I grew up nearby here, so in the middle of Switzerland, and now I live in the biggest town of Switzerland, and the biggest town is still a small town. I live in Zurich with my family.

1:20Shailia StephensYeah, Zurich is beautiful. Leah, I have to come visit you soon, man. I haven't been to Zurich in a while.

1:26Lea WernliLet's do that. We will discuss that after the podcast.

1:30Shailia StephensOkay, I need to come back for sure. I think the last time was on our photo shoot that we did. Like, it's been a very long time. So, Lea, I'm gonna, I'm gonna pose a question, and it's from someone who listens to not this podcast, but to what used to be our common podcast, the Lighter Life podcast. So guys, I have an English podcast with Lea and now a German podcast with Sandra Heim. Like, the cards are always being re— mixed. So who knows what other podcasts are coming up in future, Lea?

2:02We don't know, right? And we got an email and I thought it'd be fun to take a stab at it today to answer the question, the listener question, and do it once in English and then maybe Sandra and I will do it again in German and come up with a totally different answer. We'll see what happens. So—

2:20Lea WernliI'll do it on my own podcast as well. So we have 3. 3. Interesting.

2:27Shailia StephensYeah, so I'll send her all— I'll send her all 3 if you do it as well, Leah, because I have the email of the person.

2:33Lea WernliSo let me—

2:34Shailia Stephensare you ready for it? Do you want me to start? Okay, so this beautiful person wrote us and she said she had listened to a podcast where we were— Sandra and I were talking about following the breadcrumbs that mind gives you. And the metaphor is sort of pointing to the fact that when we're trying to create something in life, and we might have been talking about business, I'm not sure, but it was about we get these little impulses from within, these little ideas, impulses, synchronicities, invitations from life that They're like little breadcrumbs, like in the Hansel and Gretel Märchen. What is Märchen in English, Lea?

3:22Lea WernliI don't know. It's a story, a kid's story.

3:26Shailia StephensFairy tale? Fairy tale, I think. Yeah, fairy tale. You know how Hansel and Gretel, they were following the breadcrumbs in the story? Like, who put down the breadcrumbs in the story? Was it the witch?

3:37Lea WernliThe witch. Actually, it's very interesting. The German fairy tales are very dark, like shadowy side of human experience fairy tales often. And the English or the American fairy tales are more like this Heldenreise, like this—

3:56Shailia StephensThe hero's journey.

3:57Lea WernliYeah, hero's journey. It's interesting. So just side note.

4:02Shailia StephensWe love side notes, Lea, these cultural side notes. So somebody put down the breadcrumbs and they were following the breadcrumbs to probably the house. But so The metaphor was—

4:13Lea WernliAnd that's bad or almost bad. So that's interesting too. And I'm going to say something in that direction.

4:21Shailia StephensOkay, interesting. So the lady was inspired by this idea of it's just like a simple matter of coming into a quiet mind, listening to the impulses from within, following the life's breadcrumb toward your direction, right? So that was just kind of the context of what she was— what she had heard. And she loved that. On the other hand, she had a question. She said, but what if I've been following the breadcrumbs for 10 years and I'm not seeing any success whatsoever?

4:58Right? I'm following my impulse. I'm doing the things. I'm doing the breadcrumbs. And she kind of said, what's with that? How does life work when it comes to that? Like, how do you explain that? And then she said something in like, and what if there's a situation in your life where it's not even a dream that you have that you're following, but it's a practical, factual thing? Like, you've been kicked out of one apartment and you need a new one. And if you don't get one, you're just not going to have a place to live.

5:31Does following the breadcrumbs work there, or is something else at play? So that was the question of, of the person, Leah, and I'm just gonna let you run with it and see where we go. It's gonna be interesting.

5:45Lea WernliI love that. And we don't, we don't speak the truth here. So guys, it's just one very human view, and I will ramble about it. So don't take it as truth. If something resonates with you within, yeah, that's cool. But, um, just to be aware, we are speaking of our experiences or ideas or whatever the heck comes to mind. So table setting for that. I saw quite different aspects of that theme in my own life and in the life of my clients. And so sometimes it's extremely linear, like really, you have an idea, it sparks, and oh yeah, then the coach Mary has exactly an online course on that.

6:52Whoa, I'm gonna take that. Oh, I tried out, I go to that platform that she she was speaking about, I'm going to be a teacher on that, whatever. So that was just something that happened to me. I had the idea, I don't want to rely on Instagram and Facebook. Obvious reason. Yes, I'm very political as a human being, not as a coach, but as a human being I am. And I don't like effed up thinking of very rich people. and exploiting, exploiting other people.

7:30Shailia StephensYeah.

7:31Lea WernliSo I thought, hmm, is there something else? And I saw an email from Mary Schiller, and she was talking about Insight Timer meditation app, and that you could be a teacher on that. And on that app are millions or several hundred thousand people already looking for peace of mind. And so I did take her course. I did— what else? I did record audios. I did apply for being a teacher. So all the crumbs. But— and that's very important— on the way, they already denied me on being a teacher because I wrote something wrong.

8:19I had to write emails back and forth with the lady. And on my college degree was another name than my name now. So now I had to redo it. I had to redo the audio. So it was not smooth, but it was really following the breadcrumbs in a way. Do I already have tons and thousands of followers there and making money as crazy? No. So that's the second part of what I often see. Do this— will this lead 100% to success? I don't know. I don't know. Did I learn things on my way?

9:09Oh, heck yes, I did it by myself. I, I even was working on my audios and picture skills, and I did write the audio course, and, and I learned. I learned. I had a very nice experience on the app with someone else. I'm— I feel, yeah, I'm in it still, even if they won't let me in a second time. I, I still feel that's interesting. But Life is somehow not having the same ideas around success as we do often.

9:53Shailia StephensYeah.

9:54Lea WernliWhat I see is life is all about experiencing things, learning, expanding, and sometimes it involves the kind of success that we have the matrix for like money or followers or clients or, or—

10:15Shailia StephensGetting an apartment you need.

10:17Lea WernliGetting the apartment you really wanted. So sometimes that's in it, but not always. Not always. And still, there is a richness in the experience of following that breadcrumb somehow. So yeah, that's what I see. Then life. So losing my apartment and needing another one is already a breadcrumb too. So that's kind of the third thing. We think we need an inspiration, or it has to be good, or, or creative, or motivational, or inspirational. No, sometimes it's just plain life.

11:06Like you lose the apartment, you need to get another one. That is the inspiration and the breadcrumbs. Very practical, very even boring to our mind who wants to have fairy tale lives and experiences and only these ones and not the other ones, and has a real preference for experiences and how they should look and feel and be. But what we are talking about is more, what are you doing? What are you really doing? Oh, you lost it. Oh, you search for another one.

11:46Cool. That's already it. You don't need to find something on top of that. What the something on top of that very often is, it's a made-up story. of our mind. Or if we think about what we are doing, we start to think, is that purpose? Is that really aligned? Is that what I really want to do? Instead of doing the next thing that occurs to us. So it's all of it in a way. And even the neediness of, I want to have money, That's an inspiration too. A needy human thought.

12:35Yeah, okay, cool. Is there something I want to do with that? Maybe, maybe not. So, um, in a way, is for me the, the following the breadcrumbs is really effing simple living life. And not so much thinking about life, but more living life and doing whatever wants to be done next, or has to be done next, or will be done next. Or so. Um, I'm— I was extremely interested in the ideas of my mind before. And in the dreams and in the purpose and in whatever.

13:30And I still sometimes play with that part, but I'm quite aware and conscious that, um, the breadcrumbs are me being in life, living a Leah life. And that's a lot easier and cooler and more fun. And even if it doesn't lead to success or what my mind thinks around success, I'm up for the experience more, even more, even more, even more. So yeah. Yeah, I even did take like practical examples. I often don't do that, but Did you get Leah?

14:23Shailia StephensYeah, I heard all the practical examples. Oh my gosh, Leah, that was so good. And I don't even know where to start with this topic. It's, um, I don't know whether to pick up on something you said or go in, in just whatever my own direction. I think there, there are a couple of things. I think our brains are very clever.

14:46Lea WernliYes.

14:48Shailia StephensAnd our brains are very clever and I think when I really think about it, when I'm really having a reflection on it, my brain is very capable of looking to when a result is created, right? Like something I really wanted to happen. One of the things that comes to mind is, I remember a couple months ago, I was speaking with Martha and Grandfather at the Homa Bay Friendship Orphanage in Kenya. And we were having a conversation about what Martha did before she came to the orphanage and what she had studied and what had been her dream.

15:26She really wanted to go work at a hospital. She had a medical records degree from Nairobi University. And then everything came exactly the opposite of what she thought, right? She got raped. She had a child. She ended up seeking refuge at the orphanage. Now she's leading the orphanage together with her grandfather, cooking for the kids every day and washing their clothes and taking them to the doctor. Like, she's become this mother to all these children.

15:49Like— Exactly not on her idea of what a successful life would look like or what she wanted. So there's that, like, my goodness, does life sometimes take us in different directions than our brains imagined it to go. And then me having a vision or a dream for the orphanage. I remember talking to Martha on that day with grandfather, and they were so having trouble getting the kids fed. Like, that was just the biggest thing was just there wasn't enough food.

16:20And I remember feeling like, yeah, we need to get them food. But then I was thinking, no, we need to— they need to have everything. They need to have food and electricity and hygiene and good sewage and clothing. And like, I just had this sort of idea in my mind. Wouldn't it be cool if they had abundance? What if they didn't have to worry about every single month anything? It just would be there. And Forward to 7 months later, and that's actually happened.

16:55Lea WernliHmm.

16:55Shailia StephensIt's actually happened. We have a donor who's taking care of everything, leaving no stone unturned. Every need they have is being fulfilled. Every wish they have is being fulfilled. Now, my mind is clever because it goes back over the last 7 months And it tells me the story of all the breadcrumbs that I followed, that Martha followed, that this person followed, that that person followed, and says, look, if you follow the breadcrumbs, you'll have this incredible, massive success, right?

17:29Lea WernliI love that. I didn't talk about that.

17:36Shailia StephensIt creates this sort of magical hero's journey of having a dream, Following your inner wisdom and coming to this great success. Well, my brain is also clever in another way, because there are 1,000 other times that I wanted something to happen, and I followed the breadcrumbs in a good energy, and nothing came of it. It went into the sand. Life took a totally different turn. I I landed in a succession of disappointments and feelings of frustration and shame, right?

18:21And my brain then jumps in and says, well, what's the story there? Like, how did these breadcrumbs work? Why didn't it lead you there? Like, it's always trying to to figure out, what do I need to do? It's trying to retrofit. What was the strategy? What was the thing that took me to where I wanted to go? And what takes me to avoiding what I didn't want to have? Or that seems to me like how the brain is always thinking to keep us alive, right, in some way. And the answer is, honestly, Leah, I don't know.

19:01Lea WernliI know.

19:03Shailia StephensI do not know. Like, it would be ridiculous for me. Um, I, and it's funny because I just wrote an email newsletter last week where I was like, look, I had this big dream and all this. I followed the breadcrumbs. And then after I had sent it out, I was like, wait a minute, is that true? I don't even know if that's true. Yeah, go ahead.

19:23Lea WernliAnd what I also love is maybe for one person in the list, it was the exact thing that they needed to hear. And even though it's true and it's not true at the same time, and it's okay that we are, we are true and not true, and that we see things one moment like that and the next moment in a totally different way, and also to be okay with that.

19:51Shailia StephensYeah.

19:54Lea WernliAh, but whoa, that shatters our ego time and time and time again. Because what we instantly do is we rebuild our egos again and again and again with stories like that. Me too. Me too. I had a 6-figure year. Yeah. Now I'm beyond anything. I've got nothing left. So, oh, again, I did it. And no, I can't, whatever. So ego building and shattering, and it's so humbling and it's so funny and If we don't take it that serious anymore, it's okay to be the person that says in a newsletter, hey, just follow the breadcrumbs, and in the podcast, like, 3 days after, like, I'm not sure, I don't know. And to not being afraid to be a living experience in a way. Yeah.

21:02Shailia StephensYeah. Yeah. And I love that. And now, and now I'm really going to pick up on what you said about, you know, just being in life.

21:10Lea WernliYes.

21:11Shailia StephensJust being at life. Like, sometimes when you were talking, I had this sort of feeling like, what if we've just gotten much too interested and focused on the results creating part of life? What if, what if we got more interested in the way? The path we're walking on, the experiments we're experimenting with, the things we're trying out, that we just sitting in the sunshine for 4 hours, you know, like the living, breathing, moving piece of life. Like, what if we just got a little more interested in that? You know, that's what I heard when you were talking. And it's exciting when dreams come true. Yes.

22:00Lea WernliHow cool. How cool.

22:02Shailia StephensI was listening to, I meet a lot with Harry Derbitsky, the founder of 3PN Africa, who was, he calls himself Sydney Banks' most difficult student. Like Sid was on his deathbed and said, Harry, I don't know if you're ever going to see this. You might die and have to come back in a second life. He literally said that to him.

22:22Lea WernliYeah.

22:24Shailia StephensHe literally said that to him and said, Harry prides himself on being Sydney Banks' most difficult student. And Harry said, Harry said he had a dream. He wanted to really teach the 3 principles from a deeply grounded space and transform lives. That was his dream. And he told that dream to Sid. And Sid said, if any, any thought that you hold long enough will become reality. Like, it's just, that's how it works. And Harry's now 78, 79. And he said he went his whole life till 69 years old. He didn't have his really first insight. That was the one thing. And he had to become 76, 77 to realize his dream.

23:16Lea WernliHmm.

23:17Shailia StephensSo it was amazing when it happened. He thought Sid was wrong. He thought what Sid said wasn't true. And here it was coming true. You know, it's cool when our dreams come true. It's cool when that result happens. It's like an endorphin rush in our head when we reach that goal or something comes to be in the form. But it would be a shame if Harry had lived 69, even 76 years of his life, not having fun, not enjoying the process, not— feeling deep love, not feeling deep sadness, euphoria. Like, you know, the result maybe isn't as important as we think it is. What do you think, Lea?

24:03Lea WernliNo, I, I love that we are able to hold this, like, two The, the, the, the 2 sides of the medal in a way. Always it is and it isn't both. And, and the— maybe, maybe it's the lightness. Maybe it's the just holding it light, like being in life lighter. And, oh, I want to have that, or have a look at— that could be fun to—

24:42Shailia StephensHmm.

24:43Lea Wernlialso lighter and to just dance in this. Maybe, maybe we, we, we crack the code of creation. How cool! But it's just not only creation. It is, it is creation to be alive. That's already enough. It is.

25:07Shailia StephensYeah.

25:07Lea WernliAnd And we, we are here to play in form. Of course, that's a part of the game. And, and to just be more flexible in this game, in this playfulness of experiencing whatever occurs through us, or life shows us in a way.

25:36Shailia StephensYeah, yeah, totally. I love that. And maybe, and maybe to the end, something that just occurred to me. It's a real fresh thought, but I'm just going to say it. Like, and I have a— what I have in my mind's eye, Leah, is so many people that I know, clients I've worked with, friends. They've been trying to realize like a coaching business for 5 years, 7 years, 10 years.

26:02Lea WernliYeah.

26:03Shailia StephensUm, I, I recently met a, a potential client. He was trying 15 years to get his business running, and he was making like on average, um, like $200, $300 every 6-month period with, with the business, and he hadn't given up.

26:18Lea WernliIsn't that—

26:21Shailia StephensIsn't that amazing? Uh, what, like, what dedication, what, what, um, feeling, what, what wants to come through you and just keep going with it even when you're not seeing any results at all? I mean, Chapeau to that.

26:34Lea WernliYes, totally.

26:36Shailia StephensChapeau to everyone who's trying to create anything that's turning— looking difficult for them, whether it's losing weight or finding a relationship or like going up the career ladder, raising your child, like whatever is important to you. And, you know, chapeau to you for doing that and working on that. And what occurred to me while we were speaking was also, and it could be really cool to open up some other games.

27:02Lea WernliMm-hmm.

27:03Shailia StephensLike, you know, sometimes we get so stuck on one game we're playing and we're putting all of our energy into that and we're just not seeing results. Like, I wonder what it would be like if someone was just like, hmm, what other games can I be up to in addition to this game that I'm playing? You know, some areas where I could be having some results, where I could be seeing some fun things happening and manifesting, where I'm not waiting so much for the divine timing to unfold. That feels alive to me. That feels fun to me. You know what I mean by that?

27:35Lea WernliYeah, I love that. And to, to lose up the idea of who we are, when, or— yeah, I often say, and it's true and it isn't, it's not really true and it is true, that I could stop today with all of what I've been doing for the last 8 years because Oh, just to have been given the gift of seeing the principles in action in my life and in the lives of my, my kids and my family and my friends and clients and whoever I, I, I, I, I was gifted to, to be a part of. Really, it was enough. It— I mean, yeah, and I'm very happy to continue if that's what's on offer, like both in a way.

28:37Shailia StephensYeah, yeah, I love that. So cool, Lea. Ah, so tell me where— so tell me and tell everyone who's listening, when are you going skiing today? We're going to close off with like just a private note. Um, what's up on the agenda for the skiing day today in the week?

28:55Lea WernliActually, I really just like— I, I still wear my skiing trousers and my beanie, as you can see. So literally 5 minutes after we close this podcast episode off here, I'm going to be on my snowboard and thinking of all of you guys with all the love and the lightness and just Go, go out, do whatever occurs to you. Sit in the sun, have a sip of a tea, jump up and down, or do nothing, or cry. Do whatever ever feels alive right now. And with all my love and appreciation that you're here, guys, with us in our crazy little almost private bubble. It's, it's really touching. And so see you, hear you again in the next episode of Time for You.

29:57Shailia StephensNo, so good, Leah. Enjoy, enjoy your skiing. I'll be heading off to the beach tomorrow, the opposite of the mountains, but there are mountains around, but just the water. Hopefully a little bit of sunshine. We'll see. I wish you all the same. Just just that you're alive in your life. That's so valuable and wonderful and why I think we're here, even though I don't know for sure. But to so much aliveness in your life. And we'll see you on the next episode.

30:25Share with a friend. Follow us on Spotify and Apple Podcasts to get more information when the next podcast goes live. And if you have a topic, write us an email. We'd love to speak to your topic like we spoke to someone else's topic today. And until next time.

30:42Lea WernliBye.

30:42Shailia StephensBye-bye. Bye.